New partner hearing voices

[Jennybeans401]

I've been seeing someone for 6 months (I'm widowed and taking tentative steps dating). He knows I want to take things slow and its more companionship that we have at the moment. We get on very well and he's kind.

We went out last week and he opened up to me that he hears voices of "spirits" and sees people. He has always told me has an interest in the supernatural and I hadn't thought much more about it. The spirits are with him all the time and give him instructions (harmless like eating foods they enjoy, etc).

I've got three kids and I'm worried this would be strange for them. He's a really kind person but I'm considering ending it with him. He also doesn't work at the moment (been signed off).

My spirits told me to tell you to throw this one back OP.

Yes i agree with all the concerns. But not the pop diagnoses.

I've got tinnitus, but it doesn't tell me what to eat for breakfast.

I also hear voices and have done since I was very young. It’s very stable, mundane and has never become malevolent for me. I have discussed it with professionals and I don’t have schizophrenia.
I have a pretty stable life - career, family, emotionally fairly easy going etc.
hearing voices can encompass a wide range of experiences
A question for me would be whether this is new for him or has always been like this and what he would do if the voices got unsettling whether he always obeys them.
You might have your own questions though
It sounds to me like chatting to him more about it would be really beneficial.

i feel like this is one of those threads where everyone is emphatic about why the OP should run a million miles and the OP is like 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s not so bad…

Hell mend you, OP, if that is the case. Put your kids first.

If one of your children came home (when they were old enough) and told you someone they were dating takes instructions from dead people and was out of work, what would you tell them to do?

Are you having a laugh even asking if you should end it?

Also - I know people with schizophrenia who lead fulfilling lives as well. It’s not an illness that is well understood or talked about in my opinion.

Run, run as fast as you can.

Yes, but did the spirits tell him to say this?

6 months off work but he's well enough to date he's either a lazy fantasist or mentally unwell, I would avoid. I dabble in a bit of light hearted woo myself but even so, no work and hearing voices would make me run.

Could also be psychosis symptoms

I would end it tbh it's like others have said most likely schizophrenia and you really don't need that in your life with 3 children

Some good replies here which is quite a similar thread -

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/feeling_depressed/5065523-friend-with-paranoid-schizophrenia-what-to-expecthow-to-handle?reply=135049248

Sounds like he's manipulating you in view of you being a widow & claiming to be in touch with 'other side'. Too many red flags, move on. What would your late DH advise? Thinking of that might help you be brutally honest with yourself.

Your post is irresponsible. There are different kinds of voices that can be heard with schizophrenia and one common kind is ‘command hallucinations’ telling him to do things which he has described.

I had an ex with this problem. I would encourage him to seek treatment. Definitely not safe to be around, this is a dangerous situation.

Forgetting about the voices for a moment, the off work part needs further investigation. If genuine, he will still have an employer if he has been signed off sick. Has he not mentioned who his employer is and what is going on there as six months is a long time to be off. He sounds like he will be way more trouble than he is worth.

It’s irresponsible to advise someone not to make a diagnosis based on a short post on Mumsnet? Ok…

The concerns are a different issue which need addressing.

I think he probably has schizophrenia. The fact that he doesn't seem to realise that he is having hallucinations is worrying particularly as they are giving him instructions. He is probably lying about why is not working is worrying too.

How is the post irresponsible ? ,nobody on here can say wether he has schizophrenia or not people give arm chair diagnosis, s on here bssed on very little
I agree I would also encourage someone who claims to be hearing voices to seek assessment and treatment, I wouldn't however be labelling them as having schizophrenia ,without a full assessment and diagnosis.

It’s irresponsible to imply that there is only a ‘certain kind’ of voice in schizophrenia when that is what is being described. Unmanaged, it’s not safe, definitely not with children.

Some of the language and judgment of people with mental illness here makes me uncomfortable. Lots of stereotyping and stigma at large still.

Ending the relationship is fine. Assuming he is automatically dangerous and a ‘looney’? Not so much.

Where am I saying it’s fine to expose the kids to this? Please quote me.

i wouldnt want this sort of invovlement

I’m certainly not suggesting this. I have a good friend with bipolar disorder, which she manages well, in consultation with her psychiatrist, and I never had the slightest issue with her looking after my DS. But would I, as a parent to dependent children, enter into a relationship with someone who has uncontrolled auditory hallucinations that issue commands and who is unable to work? No.