New partner hearing voices

[Jennybeans401]

I've been seeing someone for 6 months (I'm widowed and taking tentative steps dating). He knows I want to take things slow and its more companionship that we have at the moment. We get on very well and he's kind.

We went out last week and he opened up to me that he hears voices of "spirits" and sees people. He has always told me has an interest in the supernatural and I hadn't thought much more about it. The spirits are with him all the time and give him instructions (harmless like eating foods they enjoy, etc).

I've got three kids and I'm worried this would be strange for them. He's a really kind person but I'm considering ending it with him. He also doesn't work at the moment (been signed off).

Yes of course but she’s not asking a psych, she’s asking on a forum and it sounds very much like schizophrenia or bipolar, from the lived experience I have of it. Whatever the diagnosis though, he’s clearly very sick, we can all agree on that, and it’s unanimous that he’s sadly not in a position to have a relationship with. I just took against someone saying it’s normal. It is not normal to hear voices.

I think it's a very poorly understood thing tbh. We could do with everybody knowing more about it I reckon.

Oh that sounds like hard work, I’d move on.

Sorry for your troubles but do you want people to tell her to stay with and expose their children to this man so that no one’s feelings get hurt? It is what it is.

Hmm I would run a mile to be honest. I’d find that very strange.

Thank you, next. 🚩

I’d end it because of the voices, for all of the very good reasons already posted.
Also because he’s been out of work so long. Surely there is work he can do of some kind. As you have your own business his lack of work ethic will start to grate.
But his back problem would raise another red flag for me. You’re taking things slow at the moment but will his back hinder your sex life?
Personally, I no longer look for Olympic level gymnastics but I don’t want to have to wait for the Deep Heat analgesic to sink in either

If you aren’t into woo things and the supernatural then fine, end the relationship. But people suggesting he’s a schizophrenic and all the rest are really crossing the line, just because you see and hear ghosts doesn’t mean you’re crazy! Spirits don’t communicate with everyone but only those most open to them

I echo Donnabanana, totally normal to hear spirits for some people, when you've no awareness/understanding is when you get the 'it must be schizophrenia', actually no.. I'd be asking him other questions about it..

Erm… how do we break this to you gently …. 😂

I’d hightail it!

You should be hearing one of your own that says run.

I would leave it a little bit before breaking up with him
It might have taken a lot for him to open up to you and, although I would definitely stop the relationship myself, I don’t think I could do it straight after he said that
Also, it would be at the back of my mind that if he did have mental health issues he might not react well if it’s done straight after he told you that
I would leave It a few weeks - but that’s just me

😂

Life’s hard enough without this sort of crap in it. He sounds barmy. Move on x

There are numerous neurological or mental health conditions that can lead to someone hearing voices without it being schizophrenia. I don't think having a daughter who is a mental health nurse really qualifies you to diagnose this man, does it?

ADHD and autism often go together and ADHD can manifest itself as hearing voices. Is he open to talking about this, about the reason he's off work and if this relates to his hearing voices?

there seem to be some very knee-jerk reactions to mental illness on this thread. I know several mentally ill people who actually have good and strong relationships - but openness and a willingness to talk are fundamental here.

I'd give him more of a chance if I liked him, tbh, but I wouldn't introduce him to my DC until I knew a lot more.

I wonder if it's just how be perceives things as an autistic person? DS used to see people as colours. I always found it fascinating. Autistic people can also confuse their inner voice with outer voices, might be that as well. Knowing he's autistic I'd find out more about it before I wrote him off. I'd want to know more about the back issue though and be sure that is the reason he is off work - how did he hurt his back? I'd keep it as companions for now and not introduce him to the kids, but I wouldn't write him off over this.

So we'd been for a lovely walk one afternoon and he told me that he's surrounded all the time by spirits and he pointed to an area behind us where he said they were all talking.He also said the sky was full of spirits and he was never alone.

It's very strange to me because I'm not spiritual and I really can't understand it. The voices tell him what to eat, what to watch on television, etc.

@Jennybeans401

He’s a nutter, get rid.

Schizophrenia is nothing to mess with. Please get this man away from your children.

Oh good lord, that's not OK at all.

What about when he can't hear what you're saying because "all the voices are talking to him" or when they start to tell him to do less benign things than what to eat or watch on telly....

Even if it was just you I'd say don't take chances but you have 3 children, you can't take the sort of risk this man might present to you and your children. End it, end it now.

Whether one believes in spirit communication or not he's hearing voices and it's probably his MH. He needs help.
You don't have the time to get drawn in to all of this. Spirit wouldn't be telling him what to eat.

Please think very hard which it seems you're doing?

Yeah I don't think you have the mental space for this one op

I'm sure he's noticed that you are in full time employment too.

Do you own your own home, op? Got your shit together? No doubt he's noticed (or the voices have told him)