2dc/sc/slpst/ chain 1 - why my sister thinks my husband is a sex trafficker.

[Fandangodiggers]

NC but penis beaker, Mexican house thief, screaming in the Sistine etc etc.

My sister lives alone and started an online relationship with an American man during covid. He moved to the U.K. in 2022. They live together, apparently entirely platonically. We’ll call him ‘Ken’. Ken has had to spend the last few months back in America (something to do with his visa) so we’ve been inviting my sister round for coffees and dinner a couple of times a month.

My sister and Ken originally bonded over their shared political views. Both are from the very far left, and together their views have gotten more and more extreme. Unfortunately, both have become fans of conspiracy theories.

Last night my sister came over unannounced and wanted to speak to me alone. She seemed concerned so we went for a coffee. It transpires that my sister believes that she has uncovered a child sex trafficking ring being run from the golf club where my husband is a member, and she believes my husband is the main organiser.

This kind of madness is fairly on brand for my sister but this was well beyond her normal batshittery. Her key piece of evidence was a notebook she had stolen from my house the last time she was there that contains a ‘secret code’ she has managed to decipher. 2dc = 2 dead children, 1sc = 1 sexy child etc etc. in this book she’s found an entire inventory my husband is keeping and by her and Ken’s reckoning, thousands of children have passed through this golf club.

I write crochet patterns as a hobby. Granted, she probably isn’t aware of this.

It has to be the end of my relationship with my sister at this point (obviously) but I’m so desperately sad to lose her this way. I was hoping with Ken away, we would be able to bring her back into the fold and stop her decent into conspiracy theory madness but I honestly think she’s too far gone.

Just on the off chance, has anyone ever managed to successfully salvage someone from extreme radicalisation like this or do I need to follow my instincts on this one and let her go? I’m resigned to losing her but if there’s a chance to salvage her I’d like to try.

FYI I have of course told DH, he thinks it’s hilarious so no harm done there but I have told him to alert the golf course staff in case she tries to burn the place down or something.

how does naming three threads that appeared in the DM proof of anything?! 😆

What does dh explain the secret code as?

It's the OP's crochet patterns

Very good point

Im not sure really - I’ll also say BIWI changed my life and I last posted in 2014, also about my sister!

Oh for goodness sake! Your sister is a pillock. Surely she knows basic crochet terms like dc and sc? I crochet but my own sister doesn't, but is aware of the terms for stitches. Just like I don't knit but know knitting terminology.

Essentially she’s found my crochet notes (admittedly I don’t write in conventional crochet terms and use my own short hand) and decided they are a secret code.

Honestly though this is a latest episode in a very very long line of shenanigans, but the first time she’s directly accused someone of being part of something so it feels like an escalation. Previously she’s stood on roundabouts locally with signs about cashless society, that kind of thing. It’s never been personal before.

I don't know any crochet terms, but my mind wouldn't automatically go to a child trafficking ring at a golf club! The sister is unhinged.

This sounds like it's beyond just conspiracy theories - are you concerned about her mental health in general?
It's concerning that her and her boyfriend's minds have gone straight to child trafficking. Is she vulnerable - is he?

It's all very extreme.

Did you sister accept your crochet explanation OP? Or does she think you're in on the cover-up?

Why don't you just tell her it's crochet patterns and then tell her you're not interested in her bizarre conspiracy theories. If she wants to be friends/sisters with you then she needs to park that stuff at the door. You can't stop her having weird views, but you can tell her they are weird and she could lose relationships over them.
If she mentions this stuff again then she'll know what to expect when you go NC.

She can definitely recognise crochet terms, she is a crafter herself although not crochet. Because I’m only writing for myself I do have a slightly unconventional way of writing a pattern out that I find quicker and easier to read back (I write top to bottom for example rather than left to right), but I think it’s still recognisable as crochet. I honestly think she’s just found ‘something’ and decided it fits her narrative. She lives entirely in a fantasy world as it is.

I read the title, knew it was a crochet pattern and couldn't work out what crochet had to do with sex trafficking!

Fairly common nonsense on some of the crazier US sites.

Did she believe the crochet conspiracy or are you part of the plot now, probably the latter because these people are never wrong!

This is far more than conspiracy theories.

This sort of thinking indicates mental illness and is potentially extremely dangerous. Imagine she starts trying to convince others than your husband is a sex trafficker? Will she contact Social services etc?

Also, what else does she think she's entitled to steal from your house?

While it is extremely ridiculous, it's not in any way entertaining. I would be really worried about her.

This sounds on par with the idea that Hilary Clinton was trafficking children from a pizzeria in Washington D.C., or that you could order trafficked children from Wayfair, a huge platform in the US which sells furniture.

I am assuming she volunteers with organizations such as https://www.unseenuk.org/ in the UK?

What did you say to her when she told you her beliefs?

So I took my book back and told her what it was, even read the pattern back to her etc. She seemed to accept it and appeared a bit embarrassed and said she didn’t want to fall out but that I needed to be careful, she doesn’t trust DH. I said that’s fine and she’s entitled to not like or trust someone, but she’s not entitled to make things up about them.

I know nothing of crochet and read the thread title in mumsnetese (2 children, one stepchild). What I didn't do is assume it was proof of a paedophile ring. Your sister is mental. What did she did when you told her the notebook was yours?

That sistine chapel thread was so funny. Wonder what happened to her

Hillary was also implicated in all the containers full of trafficked children all the conspiracy theorists knew about (not found obviously) on the Ever Given.

Why don’t you just correct her?

Sounds more like paranoid delusions that simply falling for a conspiracy theory. I would be really concerned about her MH.

You say this is "on brand"- is there any medical background?

She’s always been an extreme individual, always knocked about with people who share extreme beliefs on the edges of society. She’s had drug issues when she was a teen and as I mentioned this is the latest in a very long line of things.

She had mental health support years ago but never diagnosed with anything specific - I honestly think it’s more like radicalisation.

She’s part of the folk music scene and we’re coming up to festival season which I’m hoping makes her less isolated and that will help, she usually settles down over the summer months, it’s in the winter when she’s online most of the day that she tends to get like this.

I agree with @ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees, your sister sounds mentally unwell and in need of help.