To think it’s not ‘cruel’ to take DD to the gym at 7.30am

[Eastie77Returns]

I attend an early gym class every Saturday morning. I leave the house around 7am.

I leave DS and DD at home with DP. He takes DS to football practice around 9am and DD tags along but she has become increasingly unhappy about having to go. I therefore gave her 2 other choices: come to the gym with with me or stay at home alone for 10/15 minutes as I’m home from the gym by 9.15-am latest. This morning I asked her what she wanted to do (I gave her the options earlier in the week so she had time to consider). She began complaining loudly saying none of the options were good ones and she just wanted me to stay at home with her. I explained that I was not prepared to miss my class and in the end she decided to come with me. As we were leaving DP began muttering that’s it’s unfair and cruel to drag her to a gym at the crack of dawn when Saturday morning should be her down time.

If it makes any difference, it’s a David Lloyd gym. DD is a member and she enjoyed a breakfast in the restaurant area and read a book while I did my class. She played with another girl in the play area and the two of them have signed up for a taster kids class so she was fine. But I’ve now received a text from my dad saying he’s heard (obviously from DP) from that “poor DD is being dragged to a gym on Saturdays” so she can stay with him on Friday evenings if she prefers. Obviously I would be expected to drop off and pick her up. I said no.

AIBU to think this is a load of fuss about absolutely nothing?

It is not about amazing and wonderful and fun. It is about her precious Saturday morning down time. Every single saturday. That is HUGE.

//

Or 15 minutes by herself

@Janiie

Yes that way also clogs a thread up unnecessarily and it was clear you knew I was responding to you.

My local gym has plenty of classes once a week.

OP, if there's another time you can go to if it is more than once a week, go. Too bad if it means you can't cook dinner that one night or something. Just do it. You deserve to have your health needs and managing your medical conditions prioritised too.

Of course it's an irrational fear. It isn't grounded in reason. That is the very definition of irrational. That doesn't mean it isn't a real emotion, but it is a fear that can (and should) be overcome.

You've used some overblown and emotive rhetoric on this thread ("a massive cost to the child," "her precious Saturday morning down time," "very frightened," not to mention "cruel"). But none of that seems actually connected to the OP's specific situation. The reality of the situation is that the child has a variety of perfectly acceptable options available to her. She is also a child who enjoys getting up early. Furthermore, in a few months she will be regularly spending some time alone at home after school. Building up to that by spending 15 minutes on her own on Saturday mornings would be an excellent preparation for the future. Providing children with opportunities for independence is crucial to their development and mental health. Unfortunately, many parents are failing at this essential task these days.

Basically I think the people slating the OP are people who don't keep themselves in shape and are jealous you probably have a hot body

@Janiie @sheoaouhra

Why would you expect OP to skip her class instead if dad driving?

Op likes this class and the time works for her. Also dd has choice to stay home or go to football if she doesn't want to get up early. It is good for dd to see her mum making health and fitness a priority. The fact that you fit fitness into your routine in other ways is irrelevant to this situation.

My guess is after a few weeks of getting up in the wee small hours (as, according to some on here, anything before 9am on a Saturday morning is akin to the witching hour), your DD may find that she would quite like being at home alone for 15 whole minutes if it meant she could grab an extra hour in bed. 😄

And to allay the child's primeval terror of being left alone in a predator-free house with a functioning lock on the door for a few minutes, she has been given the choice of going along with one or other of her parents.

Nothing wrong with that at all.

The sarcasm from some pps about those who aren't good with early starts is quite blinkered and judgemental imo. Some of us (kids and adults alike) don't sleep well and so legitimately struggle with early mornings.

Yes this is what I think too.

Run along and play, dear. The grown-ups are talking.

@thepastinsidethepresent

patronising much??!

And yet the OP's DD is not one of those people. She's fine with early starts, according to the OP.

It is the one class timeslot IN THE WHOLE WEEK that the OP is available to attend. The rest of the time she's - you know - at that thing called work, or ferrying kids to their Saturday musical theatre classes, or weekday after-school clubs, or whatever the hell else.

'You go when it suits' That's what the OP is doing. It is the one 45-minute slot in the whole week that the OP actually has to herself, to do some exercise, which benefits her long-term medical issue.

It is okay for women to actually do something for themselves sometimes, even if it does mean their child doesn't get their own way and causes them a teensy-weensy inconvenience. Children need to learn that the entire world does not revolve around them and what they want.

The OP has explained that this is the most suitable class because she works, DD has activities, DP works, etc.

This is a David Lloyd gym, I am not sure if you picked that up reading the thread.

Great finally you can get rid of atleast one of your stereotypes about Asia.

I don't have any stereotypes about Asia. A pp said girls could get married at 12 in this country decades ago. I quoted that and you mistakenly thought I was talking about Asia. It's fine, I misread stuff all the time but once someone points out the error it's best to let it go.

My kids moan about me going to the gym sometimes and I just tell them they’ll be glad I stayed fit and active when I’m 80 and don’t need them to come round and wipe my arse for me ( disclaimer: I know there is no guarantees that something terrible won’t happen and I’ll need someone to come and wipe my arse when I’m 80, but I believe staying active and maintaining muscle mass post menopause definitely improves the likelihood of remaining mobile and independent into old age!)

Do not give up your class

15 mins is more than fine for an 11 year old

Personally I wouldn’t be taking them tk gym at that time unless they were interested. It isn’t cruel….just not something I would do.
I would however tell her she’ll be left home alone for the 10-15 minutes. If you’re confident she’ll be fine then she’ll be fine. Make sure she knows what to do in an emergency.

I don’t normally comment on these things, but OP, your post completely resonated with me…you SHOULD NOT have to give up your class. Self care is so important and the fact you’re scheduling yours in to an early morning Saturday class…hats off to you.
I’m annoyed that you feel the need to defend yourself on here from the inconsiderate posts. It’s sad that there’s so much guilt and shame from people posting.
Carry on doing your class, keep giving
DD the choice and as soon as her confidence grows, I’m sure she’ll appreciate her quiet time at home. My DD is 12 and loves having some alone time ❤️

I know right! I honestly cannot believe that there are people who think op should give up her class

Dear Eastie77: You got some "clutches-pearls" type trolls on here today. The type who think that since your vagina pushed out another human being you are committed to put yourself last In the family queue. An old hippie saying -Keep On Keeping On - should be your motto. You are doing nothing wrong.

Christ, I wasn't expecting all THAT!
OP you sound fab, ignore the nutters and crack on with your gym class and all the rest, sounds like you're doing an amazing job ❤️