To think it’s not ‘cruel’ to take DD to the gym at 7.30am

[Eastie77Returns]

I attend an early gym class every Saturday morning. I leave the house around 7am.

I leave DS and DD at home with DP. He takes DS to football practice around 9am and DD tags along but she has become increasingly unhappy about having to go. I therefore gave her 2 other choices: come to the gym with with me or stay at home alone for 10/15 minutes as I’m home from the gym by 9.15-am latest. This morning I asked her what she wanted to do (I gave her the options earlier in the week so she had time to consider). She began complaining loudly saying none of the options were good ones and she just wanted me to stay at home with her. I explained that I was not prepared to miss my class and in the end she decided to come with me. As we were leaving DP began muttering that’s it’s unfair and cruel to drag her to a gym at the crack of dawn when Saturday morning should be her down time.

If it makes any difference, it’s a David Lloyd gym. DD is a member and she enjoyed a breakfast in the restaurant area and read a book while I did my class. She played with another girl in the play area and the two of them have signed up for a taster kids class so she was fine. But I’ve now received a text from my dad saying he’s heard (obviously from DP) from that “poor DD is being dragged to a gym on Saturdays” so she can stay with him on Friday evenings if she prefers. Obviously I would be expected to drop off and pick her up. I said no.

AIBU to think this is a load of fuss about absolutely nothing?

That’s a bit of a leap 😏

How old is she? Why won't she stay home alone for 15 minutes?

If she's old enough to be left home alone for such an insignificantly short period of time I wouldn't even be giving this any air time.

Her options are go with her dad and complain to him or stay home alone for 15 minutes, and not complain to you about it.

Why doesn't your dad offer to have DS instead and he can do the football run while your husband stays home with DD, if he feels that strongly about about it.

Although regardless of her age, it's interesting that none of the 3 males involved think it's their activity that needs to go - just the females.

It really depends on how old she is.

what classes / hobbies does she do and when?

HOW OLD IS SHE? 😁

She can go to football and then you can pick her up on the way back home. Sounds as if she’s not old enough to be left in the restaurant at DL alone anyway.

Can't possibly answer without knowing how old she is.

Getting out of the house at 7:00 (aka the middle of the night, but I'm not a morning person) on a Saturday to be driven to a gym and then spend an hour alone in a cafe sounds a bit shit, even allowing for taster classes. And having to go to DS's football practice on a Saturday morning for months on end also sounds shit.

Mind you, I'd only leave the house at 7am if I had a flight to catch.

If she's old enough to be left alone for fifteen minutes then last week probably taught her that that's a better option.

What age is she?

Agree it's storm in a teacup. Stick to your guns (although maybe she wants to go to your dad's and that might be quite nice for them both?)

Basically everyone involved just wants you to say, it's fine I won't go to my class anymore. Good for you sticking to your guns and assuming your dd is old enough to manage home alone for 15 minutes then I think you have given fair and sensible options. It's always the mum expected to drop their interests...you're showing your dd a very good example being motivated to attend a class that has a positive effect on your wellbeing so good on you 👍

I do think it’s a fuss about nothing and DP should support you, unless there’s a factor that’s not mentioned (a reason she particularly needs to have that recoup time). I think my approach would be that if there’s another better time to do it, I’d change to then. If not, I don’t see the issue. You’re modelling doing something healthy and she gets to be happy and interact with others. The only other options are to leave 10 mins early so you’re home for 9am and DP stays until you’re there or to have someone else involved, for example, any family nearby that would be happy to take DD just before 9am (I only know a very few people with this last option, so judging from it not having been brought up before, going to assume it’s not possible).

Well done for modelling that your needs/wants/health are important and don’t all have to be sacrificed on the altar of motherhood.

assuming she’s old enough to be left at home, she had the option not to come, although it sounds like she had fun anyway.

What 3 males? The young son... why would his football need to go? The DH who is looking after the DD from 7am till 9 and then taking the DS to his football... their not his activities, its the childs. Or is it the DGF who is offering to give up his Friday evening and Saturday morning so she can go to the gym.... why are all males so selfish 😂

This is all pointless without knowing how old she is 🤣

If your dad is so concerned suggest he can come to yours at 7.30 in the morning to spend quality time with his granddaughter.

Think she's 10 from previous posts. Personally I wouldn't be leaving her alone.

Yep, whether she’s 4 or 14 is pretty relevant here.

My 45 yo sil is still bitter about being dragged to football for my husband every Saturday and Sunday

Yes, how old is she?

I'd suggest that, if she doesn't want to be alone, she goes with brother to football & mum picks her up on her way home.

But no way should mum give up her exercise class.

Ridiculous. The world doesn’t revolve around kids. When you’re a child you sometimes have to suck it up and do stuff you don’t want to do to fit in with everyone else. I had to go to the garden centre and the supermarket with my mum to help carry stuff home because she didn’t drive. My brother had to watch me at swimming galas. Go to the gym and enjoy it.

YANBU DL too most kids don't grow up getting to hang out there! Good for you for sticking with your class

You've missed the point of my post @Catapultaway
It was about the thought process of the adult males, both who have decided the boys football is more important than the mums activity, without any discussion, or even the slightest thought that it could also be the football that goes. As have you. Why?

Nah she could have stayed home if she wanted. It's a good "the world doesn't revolve around you" lesson. She wanted you to stop doing your hobby so you could stay home and do nothing with her. The world doesn't work like that.

Your husband needs to grow up grassing to your dad and your dad needs to get over himself thinking he has a say in how you parent.

If you have to wake her up and drag her out of bed, then that's a bit mean.

No way should you give up your class

She should just learn to stay at home for a very short amount of time. If you're happy to leave her alone in a public place, she is old enough to be home alone.