To want a shower one night a week. DH says I’m a c**t

[Hopingforbetterluck]

I’ve just had enough. WW3 started because we came back from holiday on Sunday, I’ve not had a chance to wash my hair since then, busy unpacking, washing, WFH, life with 2 small DC. Last night I wanted to have a shower and wash my hair and for DH to put tea in while I did that once the kids were in bed. Apparently I’m a twt, a c*t, a bitch. A real woman would have dinner on the table every night. He smashed around the kitchen making a sht tea as he put it.

He says I should be having a shower at lunch time while eldest DC is at nursery and youngest is asleep but I’ve worked overtime this week and not had chance not to mention the fact I’d rather have a shower at the start or end of the day. He says it’s my poor time management that’s caused this argument and me and my attitude can sleep on the sofa tonight. I’m just so heartbroken that my life has come to this. My dad and no other man in my life would ever dream of speaking to me like this yet this is who I’ve ended up with.

Tell him a real man would earn enough that you don't have to work.

Then leave him.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. You do seem to realise how far from normal this is. What will you do?

It’s a crap way to talk to you but it take 5 minutes to have a shower and wash hair so it hard to believe you haven’t been able to do that for a week.

Try and leave the bugger.
That's no way to live. That's no way for your children to see how the bast**D treats you.

Don't sink to this level

😱

Does he have any good points?

What is it on here tonight? There’s so many posts about people being married to men who are idiots.

The day my husband called me a twat, a cunt and a bitch would be the day I would make plans to leave him.
Is the relationship in any way salvageable?

I don't see how you haven't managed to have a shower and wash your hair in nearly a week BUT that doesn't excuse him being a sexist arsehole who is verbally abusive.

This relationship is fucked.

If it only takes 5 mins, she can surely have a shower tonight for 5 mins without her husband losing his mind over it?

It’s every bloody night. It’s beyond depressing. I don’t know how these awgul
men manage it.

Oh give over @MonsterMunched - she should be able to take as long as she bloody well likes!

(and my showers take ten mins, and then 20 mins to dry my hair. Every day).

If my husband called me any of those things I’d be gone.

Think you are missing the point @MonsterMunched

op. That is not normal. Please prioritise your mental and physical health. Any man who calls you a c*nt Is sub-human. You deserve better and you need better

You don’t deserve this. Neither do your children. This type of behaviour is not normal, and no one should have to put up with it and your children shouldn’t have to witness, you don’t want them thinking that this is normal in case they suffer the same in years to come.

Please seek advice from close friends and family, professionals even.

All the best x

That's just not true. It takes about 20 mins start to finish and drying hair a just a little bit so you're not freezing. That's a long chunk of nap time.

Irrelevant though.

My dad and no other man in my life would ever dream of speaking to me like this yet this is who I’ve ended up with.

You are with him now because that's what you're choosing to do. Make a different choice. You can leave him anytime you want to, and I suggest you do so as quickly as possible.

So we should give up our jobs to be looked after by a man?

No thanks.

Well firstly it depends on your hair but I couldn't shower and wash mine in 5 mins (curly) plus when I get out I like to moisturise my face and put curl creme in hair etc. Can do 20 mins from undressing to being dressed again.

Secondly that's not the point anyway. Even if the OP had had several showers this week, she should be able to take a bit of time one evening for herself and for her fucking useless asshole of a DH to cook tea for them without being verbally abused for it.

It was tongue in cheek...

5 minutes?
lol
im in the shower every night for around 10/15 minutes and if I bath I’m in there for a hour

How to spectacularly miss the point. Good lord.

You don’t have to be with him.

He sounds like an absolute tosser.

And yeah washing hair might only take the 5 minutes but drying it and then doing something with it takes more time and can be a right chore.

Is this what you want for your life? You only get one life, don’t waste it on this nobhead.

I have two little ones home full time. If I shower whilst they're awake one of them will hurt the other, or eat something dangerous or make a huge mess as my toddler can now unlock my shower door from the inside and they can escape together! So I only shower whilst they're with my husband or asleep.