Mother-in-law wants me to formula feed and let her feed my baby

[Artmumcreative]

I plan to exclusively breastfeed and have had this plan since before DH and I conceived. MIL came over today when DH was at work and told me that I need to have a bottle and formula. She desperately wants to feed my baby (once she's born!!!) but I want to breastfeed and I always have wanted to. I have friends that exclusively formula-feed and that's totally fine, they have medical reasons for not breastfeeding, and I appreciate that some people don't want to or can't breastfeed. I feel like MIL wants to take over my role as my baby's mother. Am I being unreasonable?

Say no.

Why on earth would you be unreasonable to feed your baby in the way you want?

Your baby, your rules. She can’t stop you breastfeeding but you do need to shut down her expectations now - just tell her that you plan to EBF for as long as possible and don’t enter into any discussion about it.

Your baby, not hers.

She has absolutely no say in how you feed your child - or anything else

Just say: no.

She’s done her mothering. It’s your baby, not hers. Do what you want.

Of course you are not being unreasonable. You plan to breastfeed, and leave it at that. Be quite firm with her. Also get your DH to support you.

At some point you can express some milk to freeze and save for when you are going out; she can feed the baby then.

She fed her own babies.

Now it’s your turn.

Why do you need to ask? Just say no!

Tell her to do one. I've never heard anything so preposterous.

Why is she so desperate to feed the baby? Surely she can sit on the sofa and have a cuddle? Bizarre.
Just ignore and do what you want.

'thanks for offering MIL, can you feed me instead? Then you will be indirectly feeding her'

Your baby, your rules.

MIL obviously has form for breaking boundaries. Get firm and stay firm with her.

Nip it in the bud and set boundaries now. Sounds like she will be very overbearing when the baby is here.

However you feed your baby, don’t ever let anyone pressure you into letting them feed your baby. The only way your MIL should be bonding with your baby is by supporting you. The first few weeks and months are about physical recovery and bonding between mother and child. That means that those who love you and want to one day have a good relationship with their grandchild/niece/nephew should be looking after you by dropping some food off, telling you what a wonderful job you’re doing and/or tidying up after themselves if they visit. That doesn’t seem to be a popular view on mumsnet but popularity doesn’t matter when it comes to your physical and mental well being as a new mother. You are more patient than me. I would have absolutely lost it with my MIL (and indeed I did with my SIL) if I was told anything like this.

She needs to respect your choice to breastfeed exclusively. There’s a lot she can do such as holding your baby, nappy changes, bath time, entertainment, washing the baby clothes, clearing up, looking after you by being supportive.

Tell her just two words....

Fuck off

Sounds like she’s going to be horrendous, your partner needs to have your back now

Tbh that would sort of comment would make me even more determined to breastfeed my baby. I’ve EBF two and have never had any one say I should formula feed for their own selfish reasons. I can’t believe people actually do that. Please don’t do this just because she has said this.

Just say no. Dh should be supporting you here . Even if you did ff your baby your rules. you feed your baby however you want too. Yanbu

Come on OP you KNOW she is being unreasonable. She sounds like a freaking nut case! Keep her at arms length and tell her you're doing it all your way and she can bugger off!

"ABSOLUTELY NOT."

Tell her to get the fuck off.

She has no say in how you feed your baby! Also, the advice is that even formula fed babies should be fed by their main caregiver and not 'passed around'. My MIL had such a weird reaction to me exclusively breastfeeding and even recently she fed my DD (3) her dinner because DD was tired and said to her "this is nice because I never got to feed you as a baby" 🙄I honestly don't get what it's about?