To think I can hide this?

[Itstimeforbaileys]

For a multitude of reasons, we have made the decision not to tell anybody about my pregnancy until we’ve had the 20 week scan. I can successfully hide this day to day, but this is where the issue occurs.. I’m currently 17 weeks, and I’ve got a spa day planned next week where both my SIL and mum will be there. How the hell will I hide this? My bump is still small enough where i just look a bit bloated, my SIL has never seen me in a swimming costume before so for all she knows I could just normally look this way? I’ll probably get away with it with my mum as she’s not very observant 😂

My second issue is the timing of my 20 week scan, this happens the week before a family members wedding so I need to wear something where I can cover it up as I don’t want to steal focus (and this is one of the reasons why we’re leaving it so late to tell people).

AIBU to think I can pull this off? I already don’t drink so that won’t cause any suspicion, it’s just my appearance that will give me away. Bonus points to anyone who can provide clothing options to successfully conceal!

AIBU to think I can pull this off?

Dressing gown - sure.

Swimming costume - my money's on "no".

Get a skirted swimsuit to go to the spa in? Extra fabric to hide the bump.

A skirted swim dress will hide a bump - unless you are known for teeny bikinis in which case it might draw more attention.
Similarly, a floaty dress for the wedding will conceal things.

There's no way you'll be able to hide it at a spa. For starters you won't be able to use some of the facilities which when coupled with the bloated stomach might as well mean you're walking round with a sign above your head saying I'm pregnant.

It's going to be pretty obvious so id just tell them.

Depends on your body type doesn’t it. If you are a big overweight then maybe you’ll get away with it. If your a size 8 then you absolutely won’t, unless your family are particularly thick!

Add on you can’t use the steam room or the hot tub really… it’s pretty obvious

You can get some lovely fifties style bikinis that do a great job of hiding my middle aged belly. If you get one with sort of ruffles at the front and serious push up top no one will notice your bump because they'll be too busy staring at your boobs! 😂

You are overthinking the wedding. It wouldn't take away the focus.

An empire line dress works well to conceal a small bump.

I hid my pregnancy till 20 weeks. It was easy. But when you get to the spa and you can’t use the sauna, steam room, jacuzzi or hot tub, it might raise suspicion more than the belly.

Good God, why all the cloak and dagger?

I don't imagine even the Virgin Mary went to these ridiculous lengths.

It's simply impossible to 'steal focus' from a bride and groom at their wedding, unless perhaps you turn up naked, riding an octopus.

The wedding yes, sounds doable.
The spa...unlikely.

As other have said it may be possible. Have you also thought of what you would say if you are asked directly. I think id be quite upset if I asked my daughter and she didn't tell me. But I am close to my daughter and would wonder why she countnt trust me.

Exactly this. A spa along with a theme park is the most pointless places to pay to be if pregnant. Plus you’d have to disclose this to staff and find a way of doing it privately.

Just tell them. It’ll be 18 weeks by then, 14 days won’t make a difference.

I'm not sure why you wouldn't tell your mum or sil, you can ask them not to make it public. If there are issues at the 20 week scan you will need support. It will also be pretty obvious when you don't use any of the spa facilities aside from the pool.

Pretty sure for health and safety you have to declare your pregnancy going into the spa.

If you're not having treatments then that's fine. But being in a swimsuit? Doubt it.

To be honest I'd be cancelling or reorganising the spa day if it's that important to you to keep the secret.

Thank you for the suggestions, for the ones suggesting that I don’t trust my mum or SIL, that’s simply not the case, and I absolutely don’t think I’d be stealing focus from a bride simply because I’m pregnant just to be clear 🙈

The main reason for all the “cloak and dagger” and the rude assumption that I’m going to “ridiculous lengths” is due to a the fact that I had to have a TFMR with my last pregnancy, due to my baby’s major organs not developing properly. This obviously hit me hard, but it hit my family hard too and I just simply cannot take their worries on board/be asked a million times if everything’s ok when I don’t know myself.

I can’t cancel the spa as my mum doesn’t know anyone else other than my SIL and it’s all SILs friends.

The extra two weeks will make a difference when I’ve had the anatomy scan at that point in time.

If you want to continue to hide your pregnancy, you’re going to have to cancel the spa day.

I didn’t tell anyone other than DH, my midwife and my line manager till 19 weeks, but I was fully clad in winter clothes.

i appreciate entirely your reasons for concealing your pregnancy (mine were similar), but if you go, they will absolutely know. Tell your mother you’ve got a sickness but the day before and let her make her own decision about whether to go.

Why would you need to wear a swimming costume at a spa? You can't use any of the heated treatments anyway, so pick other things.

Genuine question, other things such as?

If you turned up riding an octopus, even if you were naked I'm pretty confident that nobody would notice you're pregnant.

So maybe there's a strategy.

Naked and riding an octopus! Love it 🤣