To think I can hide this?

[Itstimeforbaileys]

For a multitude of reasons, we have made the decision not to tell anybody about my pregnancy until we’ve had the 20 week scan. I can successfully hide this day to day, but this is where the issue occurs.. I’m currently 17 weeks, and I’ve got a spa day planned next week where both my SIL and mum will be there. How the hell will I hide this? My bump is still small enough where i just look a bit bloated, my SIL has never seen me in a swimming costume before so for all she knows I could just normally look this way? I’ll probably get away with it with my mum as she’s not very observant 😂

My second issue is the timing of my 20 week scan, this happens the week before a family members wedding so I need to wear something where I can cover it up as I don’t want to steal focus (and this is one of the reasons why we’re leaving it so late to tell people).

AIBU to think I can pull this off? I already don’t drink so that won’t cause any suspicion, it’s just my appearance that will give me away. Bonus points to anyone who can provide clothing options to successfully conceal!

I know what you mean. We were invited to a friend's house for drinks a while back, and I noriced that their daughter had put on a bit of weight and wasn't drinking. I never said a word. A few weeks later my friend said that she was going to be a grandmother. I didn't say "I know" because she wouldn't have appreciated it, but people do notice these things.

Oh see that doesn’t bother me

Also just wanted to say op, that in this particular situation I think it's totally fair and reasonable for you to do what you feel you need to, even if that means dropping out last minute. I think anyone reasonable would understand given your history. You don't need to tie yourself into knots worrying over this unless you genuinely want to attend. You're allowed to put yourself first here if it means protecting your mental health and avoiding a stressful situation.

It could be. My friend got pregnant after 13 years (they even sold their house to afford private fertility treatment). She was trying her best to hide pregnancy at 18 weeks (her sisters wedding). But she's slim, size 10 and yes, when people saw her, she was definitely in the centre of attention. Her sister was very upset

Appreciate your experience was different but I’ve done a couple of 16 week private scans including NIPT at a clinic in Harley Street. You better believe at £700 a pop they took longer than 30 mins!! They were extremely thorough and my overworked NHS obstetrician was grateful for the extra data they provided which allowed us to have the paeds neurology team on hand for an immediate review when this one pregnancy succeeded.

The NHS are wonderful but they are stretched thin so if you have a medical history which defies all the odds (in a bad way) then going to a specialist can be v.helpful. “In God we trust but for everything else give me data!”

And this was my concern, because of the circumstances and the small amount of family members that will be there (who will also only know the bride and groom and no body else) I just don’t want to be a topic of conversation at all at a relatives wedding, I want it to be (rightfully so) just about the bride and groom. For the large majority, if I was pregnant or not, I wouldn’t be a topic of conversation, it’s just with those family members I’d need to consider.

Fashion advice from the 1950's!

Just pull out if your uncomfortable

Hard agree, that ruffled swimsuit looks like a maternity wear swimsuit to me.

Thank you for sharing your experience with me. I could definitely go down that avenue, but the ones I could go to don’t offer that service, I think my only option really is to get in touch with fetal medicine earlier than they’ve advised me to.

Yeah, same here. My NIPT scan was so so detailed and took ages it really put my mind at rest about various worries. When I went for the NHS one they said this will be the long one and it took about ten minutes and I’m sure they did a great job but I didn’t see my baby apart from at the end for about ten seconds and it was just tick,tick,tick bye bye and I didn’t feel as reassured so I don’t think it’s a bad thing to do both.

I haven’t read all the comments but just the one with your reason to keep things quiet for now due to previous history.
I had to have a TFMR at 21 weeks and I totally get you.
We didn’t tell anyone about our next (& thankfully) successful pregnancy until we were way past the 12 week point and even then, it was only close friends/family. I managed to keep my pregnancy hidden until after my 20 week scan with everyone else.

Baggy clothes, under bust lined dresses/tops etc are your friend.
I went on holiday as 24 weeks and wore a bikini. Not one person we met asked if I was pregnant 🤣🤣🤣
Even the bar man on the beach kept asking if I wanted a cocktail and when I explained why I couldn’t have alcohol, he was shocked and said he had no idea!!!
I guess I just looked fat at that point.
It would depend on your frame If you can carry it off at 20 weeks but I certainly could.
Good luck OP. May the finish line be just amazing for you this time 💕 xx

So sorry to hear it happened to you too!

I’ve just tried a swimming costume I already have on and both my husband and I agree that I don’t look pregnant unless I’m slouching 😂