To think I can hide this?

[Itstimeforbaileys]

For a multitude of reasons, we have made the decision not to tell anybody about my pregnancy until we’ve had the 20 week scan. I can successfully hide this day to day, but this is where the issue occurs.. I’m currently 17 weeks, and I’ve got a spa day planned next week where both my SIL and mum will be there. How the hell will I hide this? My bump is still small enough where i just look a bit bloated, my SIL has never seen me in a swimming costume before so for all she knows I could just normally look this way? I’ll probably get away with it with my mum as she’s not very observant 😂

My second issue is the timing of my 20 week scan, this happens the week before a family members wedding so I need to wear something where I can cover it up as I don’t want to steal focus (and this is one of the reasons why we’re leaving it so late to tell people).

AIBU to think I can pull this off? I already don’t drink so that won’t cause any suspicion, it’s just my appearance that will give me away. Bonus points to anyone who can provide clothing options to successfully conceal!

My ADHD brain is spending far too long considering how you would even ride an octopus! Would it need a saddle?

Tummy holding in cozzie. M&S do some great ones (tip for post pregnancy too). Clever outfits can be marvellous at hiding, or at least making people think “is she?” But at the early enough stage they’d be rude to ask, so won’t. Then keep your robe on or towel around you as much as possible. Can you have a headache that stops you using the hot tubs and steam rooms etc?

I think you'll have to cancel the spa day - just get "ill" the day before.

Best of luck with the scan.

Dint be insensitive, the OP may very likely have lost a pregnancy and has good reasons for hiding it. I lost a baby at 20 weeks and as a result didn't tell anyone about my DD until I was 22 weeks and the scan had shown she was fine.

Facials, skin stuff, nail stuff, whatever the hell else they do at those places.

I don't even have ADHD and I've spent a few minutes pondering it 😅. I suggest using two of the legs like a seatbelt and tying yourself onto it. 🤣

Either way OP I would cancel. They will know, you can't use the facilities and you'll have a bump albeit small but they will all know.

It will be difficult at the Spa. When I've been there's been a questionnaire that asks about pregnancy. Then you'll be making excuses all day not to use the sauna, steam room, hot tub. If you really can't tell them then you'd be better crying off altogether.

I think the wedding will be fine, just wear a nice floaty dress.
The spa day is going to be pretty difficult, maybe don't go to that

I found out I was pregnant the day before a spa weekend I had paid for for DH and I. All I could have was my nails done, I had to cancel my massage and watch on as he enjoyed the hot tub, steam rooms etc. I was very happy to be pregnant obviously but it was an absolute waste of time and money !! Id say I was sick of I were you

Personally, I wouldn't go to a spa whilst pregnant, especially if you've never before, (not sure if you have), because I wouldn't want to risk any kind of allergic reaction to products they use. It's just not worth it.

Just cry off sick

Could you book a private scan before the spa day, I had one last time at 16 weeks and saw everything that I saw at my 20 week NHS one. That might make you feel comfortable enough to tell people and then avoid having to hide it?

It's not the bump I'd worry about. You can't go in a hot tub, sauna or steam room or have a massage. How are you going to hide that?

Bump wise, wear the robe when not in the pool, and no one sees your belly under water.

You need a dose of Covid/D&V (D&V's easier, it can be a 24hr bug) on the morning of the spa day. As PPs have said, it's not just about whether the bump shows. And you certainly don't want to risk the baby's health by not letting on and using all the facilities. That would defeat the reason you're keeping it to yourself.

You won't hide it at the spa - I'd develop a 'tummy bug' on the day and cry off.

Congratulations by the way 🍼

Personally I'd book a private scan and tell your family before the spa.
There's no way you'll be able to hide it there as you have to declare it in forms and can't use a lot of the facilities.
I wouldn't want a very special moment ruined.
I think they could even be a bit hurt you've kept it quiet so long.
You'll probably even enjoy yourself so much more at both the spa and wedding if it's out in the open.

Is the spa day your SIL's hen do?

If so she's going to be a bit annoyed if everyone spends the day gossiping about whether you're pregnant.

Honestly OP it will be impossible at a spa for all the reasons pp have said. You'll have to declare it to the spa and not do a lot of the activities so it will be obvious. I'd claim illness for that one and just tell your mum and if she doesn't want to go then that's okay.

Wedding you can wear a floaty dress - easy to hide if you don't drink usually!

Thank you, It is exactly this!

Some of the treatments you won’t be able to do. The spa I went to it was one of the questions asked for this reason.
A pregnancy bump is very different to a bloated tummy, a swimming costume will give you away straight away.
I would cancel and pretend you are unwell.

I hid mine until 20 weeks OP but not in a swimsuit! Good luck, you’ll have to wear costume underneath and dive in the pool as fast as you can 🤣 take a floater?
I don’t think you can go swimming, maybe get some treatments and avoid the pool!

Congratulations and good luck!

The fact that you can't use most of the spa facilities is going to give this away more than any clothing choice.

The spa is just too risky for it to be obvious OP due to both you avoiding the jacuzzi and saunas etc and the bump.
So if your mum does twig and asks you directly on the day will you lie?

I think I may be able to get away with the sauna/steam room situation as everybody’s treatments are staggered throughout the day and no one other than mum and SIL know me; so I don’t think they’d think anything at all about me not using them, and mum and SIL would probably just presume I’d already been in whilst they were having treatments. Thank you to those of you who have suggested swimming costumes that may help; I’ll get one ordered!

I wasn’t aware I wasn’t able to have a facial due to being pregnant so I’ll let the spa know beforehand and see what I can change it for. The day out is already my idea of hell but I had to go for my mums sake as it’s a really long day when you don’t know anyone and SILs friends aren’t the easiest to get to know.

My bump was non existent til 25 weeks with my first pregnancy and 22 weeks with my second. My stomach was completely flat and then popped virtually overnight, so it’s perfectly possible that no one will notice. At the spa, I’d just say I wasn’t feeling to well if I was you to avoid lots of treatments. They may suspect, but with your past loss, I doubt they’ll mention anything. A loose flowing dress for the wedding.