Ex friend text to tell me what a horrible person I am

[feelo]

I met friend through work and we were good friends but the friendship did slowly drift and then lockdown happened and then I got a new job so it didn’t help and we spoke occasionally.

Last year I arranged to meet up with her and I asked so much about her, her upcoming wedding, new dog and she asked me nothing. Months later I asked if she wanted to meet for coffee and on the morning she cancelled because she’d fallen down the stairs and hurt her wrist.

In truth it was a really bad time in my life and I was really depressed and I just felt the friendship only existed because I put the effort in and I just didn’t respond. Which yes is 100% wrong of me and selfish but it wasn’t to be malicious.

A year goes by and today she text me (a reallllly long text) saying how horrible I am and her wrist is still messed up and I never checked in on her and that she hopes I never get injured and she doesn’t want a response to this, she just wants me to know our friendship is over.

I’ve just felt horrible since that message (sinking feeling) and I’d rather she came to me earlier and said what I did hurt her, rather than sit on for a year and blow up.

Send her this and then block.

tenor.com/bytBn.gif

I think you don't need any more negativity in your life. You said you are doing really well now and I think it's really important for you to keep going on the positive trajectory you are on.

She sounds very precious. Don’t respond.

Either tell her what you told us or delete & block.

Yes I'm glad it's not just me! I am about to do an advanced search. It's uncanny.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4881246-to-have-told-my-friend-exactly-what-i-think-of-her

This.

It must have been horrible to receive that message, but she is entitled, lacking in self-awareness, and brews up the sort of resentment where - rather than follow up at the time, tell you how she's feeling, or try to arrange another meetup herself - she places all the blame on you, kind of like a narcissist. A one-way street type of friendship where you are expected to service all her needs and have no self of your own to think of. I think she needs therapy.

Please don’t respond to her. I would just block her and move on. She sounds very self unaware. Had she cared about you and your needs at all, she would have known you were going through a very hard time.

This person doesn’t sound like much of a friend. I would text back a really short, mocking, “Righteo” and block their number after that.

You are better off without them.

I recommend deafening silence. No response and block. She's a nasty drama queen who will only thrive on attention, no matter how negative it is. So cut off the oxygen supply. Job done.

I think there is value in speaking up for yourself briefly and stating the facts as you see them. Then block.

It means should your paths possibly cross in the future at any time you have held your own ground and she can be as delusional as she wants, or not. I wouldn't leave her with the imagined upper hand, or with the feeling she had a right to berate you.

Yes this is the one I was thinking about! Your advanced search skills are much better than mine.

Thank you! I knew I had read this before so was about to do an AS too, and as I really should be asleep, you’ve saved me the time! So thank you!

I don't think you should complain that she didn't get in touch sooner. You just didn't reply when she told you she'd had an accident. You were unwell yourself but she couldn't know that. It sounds as if the friendship has run its course, neither of you have been great communicators.

What's the likelihood that both people independently chose MN to vent their spleen about each other?

or could it be the same person, reading the first thread and testing it out with a reverse?

over to you OP.....

Gosh you people have a good memory. I even posted on that thread.

Well of course the friendship was already dead in the water. She never made the effort and you didn't bother enquiring about her injury.

I’m fascinated by the two threads!

You have a chance to explain now OP.
And I think you should tell her exactly as you explained in your last post.
It will give you both closure.

Well done for climbing out of your depression. The way to not let this issue worry you any longer is to tell your side of the story with honesty and respect, not only for her but for yourself too. You deserve that.
You definitely aren’t a bad person so kindly put her straight. She isn’t the only one that bad things happen to in life.

Didn’t the OP only get the text from the broken wrist lady today?

I like this. Maybe @feelo should have asked but it’s not the crime of the century and the friend is obviously self absorbed.

Delete, block, remove all traces and put it out of your mind.

Sounds like both of you didn’t care that much about each other. Just let it go and move on, this is not a healthy friendship

She got the message a year ago when they were both meant to meet. And OP never responded to her.