DP suspicious hotel stay

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So I went away for a week on holiday with the children. DP stayed behind on his own as he had work. One evening after work he left the house and stayed at a reasonably local hotel because he got scared and felt like something was ‘off’ in the house. Apparently the lights were flickering (it’s an old house in the countryside) and he didn’t feel safe alone there.

He rang me from the hotel and we talked for about 5-10 minutes. He stayed one night and went home the next morning.

Now I think this seems really odd. AIBU to think something else went on?

YABU- this is normal behaviour
YANBU- his behaviour is suspicious

This is something I would do but if a man did it I’d find it strange 🤣

This is odd! Although if he was up to anything why would he have told you?

I mean, if he was up to something it would be counter intuitive to tell you he was at a hotel to begin with, only you will know if this is out of character for him or not though.

Yes it’s out of character for him! He’s never gone to stay somewhere because he is scared before.

It was a reasonably local hotel, so he had to tell you in case anyone who knew you both saw him there and mentioned it to you.

He needed an excuse so came up with this pathetic story.

Of course he was up to something.

Sounds very odd. Not a normal response at all.

Best guess he met a woman there.

Probably because I would be able to see he wasn’t at home from the ring doorbell camera if I were to check.

The most logical conclusion is that he thought someone at the hotel recognised him, so told you so it wouldn't be a surprise if someone mentioned it to you.

Why he was there is less straightforward. Meeting someone or an affair is the most obvious answer, and I tend to lean towards expecting horses not zebras when I hear hooves...

Very suspicious. Can you check payment details?

I’d be calling the hotel and with a story about a lost earring and seeing if I got confusion at the suggestion that a woman stayed that night too… or similar… hard to pull off though without the room number.

more generally, I’d accept it all very cheerily and ask loads about the scary events but then go full bloodhound behind his back. Because if he’s up to something you’ll find something to go on.

That would be such a bat shit excuse for cheating I almost believe it must be true, and that wouldn’t give me a great impression of him either. A grown adult got scared in his own house by ‘ghosts’?! Is he normally a such a scaredy-cat?

I’m afraid I think it’s this. Someone saw him so he’s made this up.

Did he get an electrician in to look at the lights if he feared they were unsafe and could cause a fire? Or is saying he thought it was a poltergeist?

it depends on your husband. Mine hates work hotel stays, he’d travel a long way just to be home.
but maybe yours wanted a meal made for him and then to just crash out in bed. No chores. No cleaning up etc.
it’s a bit odd though.

This. Plus the ring doorbell.

Sorry OP, doesn't sound good.

I love ghostly stories and forever spooking myself. Never in my wildest dreams would I, a Middle Aged woman, go and stay in a hotel because I was scared in my house. If this is true you’ve got problems with this man 🤣

Plus you've got fucking cameras there. Is he really such a baby he can't stay in his own home by himself, with cameras trained on every door and (presumably) an automatic response from a security firm were anything to happen, without running away because he's so scared?

Hugely suspicious. I would be sitting him down and suggesting that he see a therapist about his anxiety issues, and asking him what he has done about contacting an electrician to investigate the flickering lights. Do not let it go. Keep probing and probing his story till he admits what a bunch of bullshit it is.

(or until he genuinely convinces you he has a mental health issue and gets appropriate treatment for it).

Do you feel confident that he will be able to cope with Halloween when it comes along later this year? 🕷👻

This doesn’t sound right at all. I’m afraid to say I wouldn’t believe this for a second. I would definitely do some digging OP.

Yeah... If you have a Ring doorbell you could see if anyone else came to the door then, right? But not in a hotel.

I wouldn't believe this for a second! A man being too frightened to stay in his own home because the lights flickered is so unlikely it can't be true.

He's had to come up with an elaborate story because he knows there's no way to explain it logically without telling you the truth.

This does seem odd and I'm afraid suspicious. I have freaked myself home alone before, putting all the lights on and the TV for comfort/distraction, but Freddie Krueger would have to be breaking in before I thought about de camping to a hotel!

Quite.

Why would he feel unsafe in his own home due to flickering lights?

Sounds like he’s cheating sorry to say OP

Fully agree with the "he's told you in case he's spotted story". What utter bullshit.
I have absolutely freaked myself out at night before and had every single light on, TV and phone in hand at all times, but never gone to a hotel. It's just bullshit.

What's your gut telling you op.
If someone said that to me I'd think,to use a mn classic, they were getting their ducks in a row!

Simplest explanation is usually correct. He knows about the Ring doorbell, he's probably covering tracks either because he has been seen or just in case.

I would be asking more about the lights to watch his reaction, which light what time, how often did it flicker, when is the electrician coming if you don't think it's safe, should we go and stop in a hotel, if it's not safe etc.