DP suspicious hotel stay

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So I went away for a week on holiday with the children. DP stayed behind on his own as he had work. One evening after work he left the house and stayed at a reasonably local hotel because he got scared and felt like something was ‘off’ in the house. Apparently the lights were flickering (it’s an old house in the countryside) and he didn’t feel safe alone there.

He rang me from the hotel and we talked for about 5-10 minutes. He stayed one night and went home the next morning.

Now I think this seems really odd. AIBU to think something else went on?

YABU- this is normal behaviour
YANBU- his behaviour is suspicious

Hiding in plain sight

Just call the hotel, pretend to be his PA and ask if his companion left her earrings?

Ahh the ring doorbell.
In that case yes, definitely dodgy. Sorry op.

Why would you think that?

I don’t get why people keep suggesting this, unless it’s a tiny hotel, they won’t have a clue who he has had in his room! What am I missing (genuine question)?

If a lamp started to flicker in the afternoon I would change the bulb, and then call an electrician if I was concerned about dodgy wiring.

Not a hotel and an escort.

He's either not very bright, or he thinks you're not.

'One evening after work he left the house and stayed at a reasonably local hotel because he got scared and felt like something was ‘off’ in the house. Apparently the lights were flickering (it’s an old house in the countryside) and he didn’t feel safe alone there.'

Jesus wept! A grown ass man!

I think I would prefer him to be shagging someone in the hotel than being a complete and utter pussy/wet wipe.

Nothing he says make sense.

Does he normally suffer from irrational stress or anxiety?

What couldn't he have turned off the lights? Called an electrician?

Why if he was that concerned would he have returned?

Surely if there is a scary electricial fault that is so risky and concerning he would surely not return or want his partner children back in the property?

Is it was a risk for him, surely it's a risk for you too?

He has previous form for using prostitutes too.

He should be scared because his bullshit will cost him in his separation!

I wouldn't stand for this level of bullshit for 5 minutes. He didn't even try to make his lies questionable or believable. He is bluntly saying this is how it is - believed it or don't, I don't care.

You deserve better.

At 6pm - come on! If it has been midnight and it transpired he'd been watching crime dramas/spooky movies I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, but not 6pm!

No, he has been working at the desk. We had messaged a lot 5pm and he sent me a picture of him working and then a few hours later he’s off at a hotel cowering under the duvet.

How strange! Definitely mentioned it because he knows you'd likely find out either from the ring doorbell or someone see him. He had time to pack a little overnight bag 🤨 I'd want more information about the hotel booking

Even then!! It’s probably more scary to drive at midnight in the dark than stay at home with the doors locked.

It doesn’t add up to me and I’m going to question him, where I’m sure I will be dismissed as being paranoid.

He said I should just trust him and not he asking for details. So I feel a little nervous about bringing it up a second time.

Tell him you're emailing Danny Robins and his red mack. Danny loves a good Uncanny story.

Would he normally send you a picture of him working? He was building a case here.

Out of interest, is the very first time he's been spooked in your house or anywhere else?

Once you bring it up, all evidence will be destroyed. I would be playing it cool and then getting into his phone for calls/emails/web history ASAP. Can you access his banking to see if he made a payment/large cash withdrawal for an escort?

Tbh even if there was no affair, I'd have a massive ick from a guy who's so afraid of lights that he had to go to a hotel!

Why on earth did he send you a photo of him working?

If it walks like a duck...

Ok so arriving at hotel for around 6.30. perfect timing for dinner.
And calling you at 9pm.

Did he call you from his mobile, or the hotel room phone?
If from his mobile then he could have been anywhere in the hotel and easily told his meetup partner that he had to nip out to make a work call or something quickly.
Sorry but its dodgy as anything.

Yes, ask to see the hotel reservation AND the invoice (in case he charged the meal/wine to his room). And what he had for dinner. And you want to see the bill for that!
And breakfast.

Is it normal to send you a pic of him working?

Call the hotel as his PA and ask for a copy of the receipt for his expenses (I’m a PA and do this for the people I support; they will send it to you.) check the price of the room and see if it is the price for single occupancy.

if he stayed alone, it should state single occupancy on the receipt. Single occupancy is usually slightly cheaper.

And I also think he called you at 9pm and not when he was fleeing in sheer panic from the ghostly lights because someone had seen him there, or he thought someone had seen him.

And thats the best he could come up with spur of the moment.

Of course it could be an affair. I had an affair many years ago (something I am not proud of). The other person only had to pop into the bathroom while he made the call, or down to the bar, or he popped back to the room from downstairs to make the call. It's entirely possible.

Exactly - though if he's cheating the person is probably aware he has a partner. When I had an affair, the guy I was seeing would just call his wife when I was with him.

Oh there's no good outcome here.

If he's lying, what the fuck is that lie and how gullible does he think you are to have the cheek to say "Just trust him and don't ask for details"
If he's telling the truth, I'd have massive ick from him.