Selling his gift

[Emstar444]

So, aibu? My partner decided that after I had scrimped and saved to buy him a gift he had asked for, to sell it on ebay, along with another gift I had purchased at his request for him. It wasn't due to fit or anything like that, he just decided to, and I quote 'get some money for them'. What they have sold for is far below what I paid for them, even though he knows how hard I struggled to get the money together to buy the things he wanted. Am I being unreasonable to feel miffed about this?

Don't ever buy him a gift again...

How long ago did you buy them? And has he used them?

Just put a fiver in a card from now on and he can count himself lucky to even get that.

This. Stop being the bigger person and tell him to piss off for future gifts. Just get him chocolate.

I bet he makes minimal effort on your effort.

I would ask him directly why he asked you to buy them for him. I wouldn’t ever go to much trouble for the ungrateful prick again. Spend the money on yourself next time.

How long have you been together? Do you live together?

Thats very strange if he asked for them?

Also my husband would say if a gift wasn't suitable and I'd return it and he'd pick something else. Why does he need to put them on eBay?

What is the time difference between you giving the gift to him and him selling it?

If its a couple of weeks then don't ever buy him a gift again.

If it's been a couple of years, fair enough.

Stop buying him gifts. Best way to stop doing that is also to stop having him as your boyfriend. Two problems solved in once go.

How long ago were they bought?

As another poster says it depends on when you bought them and when he sold them.

Also has he suddenly got money troubles for some reason and he sold them because he actually needs the money? Again date of receipt and sale comes into play here too.

That's a weird thing to do but it does depend....

How long did he keep them for before he sold them, and what sort of items were they?

If you bought him an expensive watch and he sold it six months later, that's shitty of him. If you bought him an expensive jacket and he sold it five years later, that's not a big deal.

So the gifts were on ebay within a couple of weeks of him receiving them.
He doesn't see anything wrong with this and doesn't think I should be upset about it.
We don't live together and have been in relationship for less than a year. These were gifts for his birthday that he had specifically said he wanted, used once, then sold for about half of what I paid for them. They were a personal care item that he specifically wanted, and some designer clothing.

Also to add, he has absolutely no money worries whatsoever, so he didn't need the money from them

A personal care item?

Sounds like he changed his mind. I'd be annoyed though.

On the designer clothing I wonder if he wanted photos of him wearing it and has then passed it on? Is he the sort to instagram quite a lot? Is he trying to present an image online of a better life?

Shitty behaviour on his part.

You scrimped and saved to buy him a present? Struggled to get the money? Why would you ever do this for a boyfried even if he loved the present.

Once you’ve gifted someone something, it’s theirs to do with whatever they wish. If they want to sell it, donate it, whatever, it’s not really fair for you to have a say.
Weird that he’s asked for something specific and then changed mind, though.
Don’t go to such trouble for them in the future to save for a gift if you don’t feel it’s appreciated.

Are you not angry about this?

His actions show very little care or respect for you - these were things you struggled to afford (and therefore should not have bought) and he has pretty much thrown them away, thus demonstrating total disinterest in your efforts to buy them.

I could not have a relationship with someone who treated me this way. It's clearly saying that you are there to do what they want, when they want it and in return they will do whatever they like.

He's done this deliberately to mess with your head.

He's getting a thrill out of hurting/humiliating you. He asked you to buy him things he knew you couldn't easily afford, just to see how far you'd go to please him, and now he's humiliating you on purpose by showing you he doesn't care, and gaslighting you by telling you this is normal.

This isn't just someone being a bit thoughtless. He knows exactly what he's doing.

Honestly, you've been with this man for less than a year and he's showing you who he really is. Please end this relationship.

I don't understand why you would scrimp and save for a fancy gift. Has he spent similar amounts on you?
He doesn't sound very nice and he sounds childish.

You’re a year into a relationship and he’s asking for things he knows you can’t afford when he’s doing alright for money himself? He sounds mean. I’d throw this one back and go fishing for a better catch

IF you stay with this charmer, I'm on team 'get him a small bar of chocolate for any future gift'.

Never ever, ever buy him another gift