Selling his gift

[Emstar444]

So, aibu? My partner decided that after I had scrimped and saved to buy him a gift he had asked for, to sell it on ebay, along with another gift I had purchased at his request for him. It wasn't due to fit or anything like that, he just decided to, and I quote 'get some money for them'. What they have sold for is far below what I paid for them, even though he knows how hard I struggled to get the money together to buy the things he wanted. Am I being unreasonable to feel miffed about this?

He is an idiot. I would dump him over this, but if you want to stay with him, never, ever waste your money on him again.

Yep. No more gifts, and if he asks tell him why.

If you want to celebrate his birthday in future by him something like a pair of tickets where you both go together

Sure once gifted they can do as they please with item and presumably neither could be returned if tried/worn. However they clearly aren't considering your feelings to sell on so soon and its odd that it's both gifts, are they having a general clear out so possibly trying to raise funds quickly? Some people appear financially well off on surface but are hiding money issues.
Why are they requesting expensive presents you'd have to scrimp for? I hope you've received similar value/effort gifts and it's not one-sided abuse of your kindness. I'd certainly reduce effort in future with gifts

Personally I know this shit would have me reassessing the relationship as whether our values are compatible as i'd hate going low effort with a partner. I'd also be wondering if were any other behaviours id overlooked thinking were isolated incidences but maybe part of a pattern.

Another vote for binning him off OP.

He asked for expensive gifts and then sold them. He's a selfish, rude twat.

Don't waste any more time or money on this one.

In a fairly short term relationship like this I think I’d dump and move on , is this really someone you want to be with long term if this is how he behaves .

What did he buy you for your birthday?

He wanted specific items.
He used/tried them.
Realised they weren't for him so sold them on.

To be fair I wouldn't have an issue with that. I'd prefer that to the items sitting in the back of the cupboard gathering dust.
The issue is the "scrimping and saving". Never do that. Only spend what you can afford.
"What would you like for your birthday? My budget is £20" should be said whether it's your boyfriend, mother or child.
Only ever spend what you can afford.

YANBU that’s awful and so rude! Don’t buy him anything again and he doesn’t deserve someone as thoughtful as you.

He sounds a tosser. Get rid and find someone who respects you

Rude and disrespectful. I would bin him off.

I’d actually agree with this. If he’d had the items for years and then sold on then fine, but weeks after with one use, that he specifically asked for and knew you’d saved for? That’s just mean, controlling, ungrateful. I would say there could be an indication of controlling abuse beginning here. Either that or he’s just a mean, thoughtless prick. Or at the very least he’s obsessed with looking the part and wanted pics wearing something designer but then sold it on when he had the pictures or had been to a certain event. Either way, it’s a LTB from me, or at the very least (depending on other behaviour) - watch out for other red flags and buy him just a box of chocolates for gifts in future - and explain why that’s all he’s getting.

He’s an arsehole. He is doing this to upset you. Dump the fucker. He has shown you who he is and what he thinks of you.

And as an aside do not scrimp and save to buy anyone presents. Presents are ‘extras’ they are treats. Use money you have available, don’t go without to buy shit for people they don’t really need.

Don’t buy him chocolates next time, there should not be a next time. You’ve been together a year, you should be having a lovely time together, falling in love, honeymoon period, not being a grade A wanker.

I would want every fucking penny I spent back, and he could look like Brad sodding Pitt but I’d never see him again.
That’s one of the most ungrateful and thoughtless things I’ve seen here, and that’s saying something.

I'd end the relationship over this.

Agreed.
There is a high probability this is exactly what he did. He made you stretch to get him expensive gifts and then treated them as if they were worthless to him... its showing you what he thinks of you. It's extremely arrogant and self-centred behaviour to demand expensive gifts which you had to struggle to deliver anyway.

Curious to know if he is as generous in general, not just for birthdays/christmas towards you?

he's abusing your generosity, and has no respect for you.

Please dump him and whatever you do don't buy him anything ever again.

what a fucking knob !

Spot on comment.

Have a long think about why you'd put yourself under this much pressure to please this man.

Will you continue to buy him what he wants ?

Just out of curiosity what has he bought you ?

I can't think of any interpretation of this situation where he's not a massive dickhead. He's shown you exactly what he thinks of your hard efforts to please him. Get rid.

Show him this thread.

Partner - you're a proper twat. That was a thoughtless, awful thing to do. You do not deserve to ever get more than a freddo bar as a gift again.

OP - all his future birthday or christmas gifts are for you. Treat yourself to something you want instead of making any effort for him again.

I think this is the only rational explanation unfortunately.

I would dump him. He's greedy and selfish and doesn't give a damn about you, OP. There are much nicer men out there. Throw this one back in the sea.

Just dump him. He has no respect for you and he's abusing your generosity

Before you dump him, ask him for an expensive gift, wear it once, then sell it on Ebay. Be really interesting to see what he has to say about that.

Please please walk away, he has no respect for you and never will.