Selling his gift

[Emstar444]

So, aibu? My partner decided that after I had scrimped and saved to buy him a gift he had asked for, to sell it on ebay, along with another gift I had purchased at his request for him. It wasn't due to fit or anything like that, he just decided to, and I quote 'get some money for them'. What they have sold for is far below what I paid for them, even though he knows how hard I struggled to get the money together to buy the things he wanted. Am I being unreasonable to feel miffed about this?

@Jamiedodgers but did he know that?
To some people buying a £30 pair of shoes is expensive because they normally buy the £10 ones from Shoe Zone.
To others buying a £30 pair of shoes is cheap because they normally buy £200 designer ones.
If he knew the OP financial situation - then he was a dick to ask for those gifts.
If he had no clue how much she earns then he isn't a mind reader.

*scrimped.

I think it's really rude selling a gift that someone has saved hard for.

Shows what he thinks of you in my opinion.

Let this be a lesson for you. Don't buy him any more expensive gifts. I'd only gift chocolates and wine from now on. That way you won't care what he does with them.

I can't know his motivation for doing this, but it feels either deliberately unkind or completely lacking in empathy. I would say neither of those are traits I would want in a life partner.

Can't believe you're calling him a partner really. A PP suggested asking for something expensive for yourself on your birthday and then dumping him as soon as you've got it. This is a great idea, but if it's far away, just dump him. Tell him he's too expensive for you and disposable.

Generally in UK (assuming you are) it is very rude to be seen to re-gift a gift, return it (unless to change the size etc) or to sell it. If he really needed to sell it he could have done this quietly without your knowledge but he didn't need the money and really doesn't care about your feelings at all does he?

OMG who are the 2% who think YABU?
A friend of mine was irritated and a little insulted that her SIL sold every present she bought him on EBay ( and her gifts were thoughtful and not cheap). She told me that eventually she started putting a tenner in a card and, as she put it, she was cutting out the middle man.
Her sIL is a bit of a dick actually 🤣

I have experienced this with someone's close. But it was that stuff I had bought for them was turning up in other peoples houses. I dont know if it was a deliberate snub but it made me despondent.
Now,?????? I really cannot be bothered to buy this person anything because I get the vibes its gonna end up on EBUY. Ive come to the conclusion that theyre just about material gain Not touched by little thoughtful gifts coming their way from family members. Its lost its magic being used like this. Im afraid some people are just made different I suppose. Dont let it get you down; just remember next time give a bar of chocolate.

I get this with DH and now also with DD.
All the time.

DH is extremely difficult person to buy gift, everything has to be what he likes.
I remember once I got him a book about his favourite sport and I writes into it like From Me xx and he caused a such drama, wanted me to take it back as useless to him!
Another time I bought him perfume ( Lacoste) he said too cheap and made me return it.
DD is the same now.
She is an almost a teen and she is into Victoria’s Secret bits so I thought I would get her VS bag and purse . She said it’s horrible and refused it.
I must myself I don’t like gifts bought neither but at least I act more gratefully and say thank you and re sell it secretly.

Why are you with this guy? He’s shown no respect for you, get out now before it goes further. I’d be really upset over this

Thank you all for your input and comments - it is very much appreciated.
Just to update, I have now ended the relationship.
After trying to have a conversation about this issue, it came to light that there were other, very significant problems on top of the gift selling and a stack of red flags that had already shown up previously.
While I had tried to be understanding, supportive and kind in the relationship, I am also a survivor of a narcissistic abusive relationship previously, so was not about to get bogged down in another toxic or unhealthy situation.
All of your comments were helpful, either in validating my feelings or making me question my perspective - thank you all for your input and taking the time out of your day to get in touch.
I'm now going to have the most enjoyable weekend being un-stressed and free to do as I choose - I hope you all have a great weekend too xxx

Well done, OP and I am truly sorry to hear about your previous toxic relationship. Very best wishes 🌺🌺🌺

This.
@Emstar444 He's not the fish for you. I'm glad you threw him back and think yourself lucky that you got this red flag fairly early.
He's shown no respect for the effort you made for him, and I wonder if it was a test of how much he could influence you and have control over you.
Take care and have a good weekend.

edited as I just saw your post about dumping him :-)

Bravo OP! I hope you have a lovely weekend doing whatever you like.

Congratulations on breaking free from the bastard. Enjoy your weekend.

I'm glad you ended it with him he just seemed to be low-key abusive and a user.

And just a side note that red flags aren't meant to be collected.

It's means that when you see the first one, you end the relationship right then. And never give the benefit of a doubt or second chance to a man.

As for gifts, a card and a small chocolate are plenty of a gift for a man.

Never be understanding and supportive of anything rude or off because it will just get you mistreated and used.

@Emstar444 good to hear you have ended it. He doesn't sound a great guy.
In any future relationships be honest about what you can and can't afford - whether that's for dates, lunch out or gifts.
💐

Well done. Have a lovely weekend.

Well done . Glad to see you have dumped the ungrateful git.

Glad to hear it OP. You deserve so much more.

He is horrible. Get him out of your life. He is nasty and cruel, you don't need him.

Well done OP. Great advice in this thread. All the best.

Well done op!

Well done @Emstar444 hope you have a lovely weekend.

I hope you're going to buy yourself a nice present now- you deserve it!!!

Well done for knowing your worth. Hope you have a lovely, peaceful weekend.