Brother resentful of my lifestyle

[Whataworld1]

My brother is (I think) a bit jealous of me. We are only a year apart in age. I am 54 and he is 55.

I had my children quite young and they are now adults, they have left home and are self sufficient. He, on the other hand, had children very late and his children are still in primary school.

Before starting a family he had a job which took him all over the world for 20 years and we rarely saw him. Now he’s home he often makes comments about wanting to make memories and he gets annoyed if I have a day off and choose to spend it visiting my children instead of his.

He is in a low paid job and can’t afford extras or holidays. DH and me have more disposable income, now that we’re not supporting kids anymore and we have nice holidays which are sneared at.

I am so upset that at this time of life, when I’ve finally got some money and can do nice things, that he is stalking my social media and making sarcastic comments about my holidays.

What does he say if you visit your own children and not his?

How does he snear at your holidays?

How do you know he stalks your social media?

What comments does he make?

He sounds ridiculous, either block or restrict him on social media. When he asks why then tell him the truth.
I'm jealous of my sisters lifestyle but I'm aware that my feelings are my problem and I wouldn't dream of making her feel bad.

He’s a prick sorry, he’s a jealous fool. Young kids are hard and expensive you have done with this bit and he’s noticed. He probably thinks you should be taking his kids out to give him a break too since you have money and time.

He expects his sister to visit his kids instead of her own? Why?

This exactly

Did you write this wrong op?

I don’t see a lot of his kids, because of my working hours. I work 7 days a week normally, in a self employed job. I think his point is “oh you can’t find time to see my kids but you seem to find time to see your own”.

His children are quite hard to socialise with anyway. They don’t speak. One is shy and one has a condition (being assessed), so it’s not pleasant anyway.

Tell him to shove his sarcastic comments up his arse and pull way back from him. Take him off of your social media and block him from seeing yours.

Your brother's issues are not your problem so stop making them your problem.

Well, you’d probably have an unanimous YANBU until that last sentence. Sounds like no adult in this situation is pleasant to be around so just do your own thing.

I said to DH today that I’m going to restrict him from seeing my FB posts if we’re out with our grown up kids or on holiday.

I spoke to him a few days ago and he was incandescent with rage that we’re having a holiday with our daughter soon.

He must be the most self-centred person in the world to expect you to prioritise seeing his dc over your own. I adore my dn’s but of course my own kids come first. I can’t believe that anyone in their right mind wouldn’t understand that.

This is all so odd, why is he angry you are going on holiday with your daughter? That is far from normal behaviour.

He's jealous as sin.

Try not to let it get you down, I understand it's easy for me to say than for you to do and although it's a shame to block him on social media but if he's continuing to be a pr|¢k* then that's one option.

Enjoy your time, and by gawd you've earned it. He's had his time now it's yours.

How bizarre! Would he prioritise time with your children over his own??

Were your children ‘easier’ than his? Could he be bitter about that?

I think because I don’t see his children often the thought is “oh you don’t have any spare time but you miraculously find some for your own children “

Sounds like a little bit of distance is needed. Both in real life and on social media.

Just block him as he’s seriously jealous and being a total twat.
you don’t need such negative vibes in your life

I spoke to him a few days ago and he was incandescent with rage that we’re having a holiday with our daughter soon.

Incandescent with rage? Fucking hell, that's insane and very scary. You shouldn't be communicating with him at all, op. He's abusive and hell knows what he's capable of.

He has a go at you about seeing your on e we n children but not his

he comments on social media

no one pulls him up about this?

it sounds very peculiar, why would you favour his children over yours?

It’s a case of not seeing them (because I work 7 days) but then him seeing a pic of me with my son and going Ah you lie!

Pull away from him. He sounds deeply unpleasant.

Just mute him now on social media. Don’t wait.
I think his point is “oh you can’t find time to see my kids but you seem to find time to see your own”. I still don’t see his point. Presumably you stare blankly and say well yes. I see my children. I’m their mum. You weren’t around seeing my children when they were little, or me. Just stop putting up with any of this.

but be nice to his kids when you do see them- that comment you made wasn’t very nice.

Theres always one!

Don’t you think social
media might be the cause of some of this? He wouldn’t know otherwise? It does make people jealous

Why does he want you to see them? Does he want childcare?