To be sad neither of my kids are very ambitious

[EmsieJoe]

I have twins, they are 15 and they start their national 5 exams this week. They are both smart kids, predicted A in over half of their subjects like English, Art, Geography and Modern Studies for DD. DS is predicted A in Maths, Practical Woodworking and Design and Manufacturing and Graphic Communication.
DD was originally going to stay on, and do highers, but she's now applied to do an apprenticeship in Childcare and DS has an apprenticeship in Joinery lined up.

I can't help but feeling a little sad that they aren't trying to achieve more. I'm a nurse and DH is a painter and decorator, I really wanted them to use the brains they are blessed with and achieve more but now it seems they will be in relatively low earning jobs.

AIBU to feel sad and like they are wasting their potential?

There's a huge difference between talking to your kids about their future incomes and (in OP's own words) feeling "sad" and like they're "wasting their potential" because they're going down the apprenticeship route instead of a degree.

And BTW my parents didn't say "great idea" to everything, but they did support me and encouraged me to do what makes me happy, and I'm eternally grateful for that. I have a great life, no money worries and get to do what I love every single day. I think I'm bloody lucky, personally, despite my low income.

Many 15 year olds have no idea what they want to do, most don't unless you're one of those that wanted to be a vet / doctor from aged 3.

To be honest my Daughter is 15 and the main message we tell her is find something to do that you enjoy or that interests you, find something you love and you'll never work a day in your life, I just want her to be happy, you could be a lawyer and be sad and hate the job, the most successful person is the one walking down the street with a smile on their face.

The fact remains that of people on low wages are struggling to afford to eat, heat their homes, provide for their kids etc. Even those that live frugally. They’re not having a ‘great life’.

There are people on here earning 50 or 100k who are struggling too. Earning a massive salary really isn't the be all and end all that you're trying to convince yourself it is.

@easylikeasundaymorn

https://www.myjobscotland.gov.uk/councils/city-edinburgh-council/jobs/early-years-officer-flora-stevenson-primary-school-376252 £30,751 - £36,312 for early years officer with HNC qualification

https://www.myjobscotland.gov.uk/councils/highland-council/jobs/early-years-practitioner-35hpw-2-posts-drakies-primary-school-inverness-376024
£20,865 - £25,623 per year without HNC qualification

@bahck

1. We are women (or men) not girls.
2. Start your own thread in Relationships or the Sex board as posters here will be responding to the OP and her unambitious teens.

These trite cliches sound great. But it’s shit living in a cold studio flat wondering how you will have enough money to feed yourself. Never mind trying to settle down with a family.

People who think ‘money doesn’t bring happiness’ have rarely experienced poverty.

They both sound like secure ways to go to me to be honest!!

No Modern Srudies has been around for years, I did my o grade and higher 36 years ago.

Are they happy? Do they have friends? Hobbies/ interests? Are they decent human beings? Ambition is so much more than a job. I would much rather have my kids well rounded, following interests and with a job that is less academic/ high earning tbh

Why are you assuming that working in a lower paid role automatically equals living in a cold flat with no money for food?

There are couples up and down the country who earn no more than the minimum wage each and who manage to have a perfectly reasonable quality of life. Of course it's miserable if you can't afford food or heating, but that can happen regardless of your income, tbh. You only need to read the threads on here from higher earners who are struggling to make ends meet.

Not everyone lives in cold studio flats the op Dd can earn an average wage once she's qualified she won't be destitute .

Also many many people have families and don't earn the legendary 6 figure sum !

@bahck go start your own thread in a more suitable area of MN like the sex or relationship boards

Oh I had no idea! Thanks for the info 🙂 every days a school day!

What was that Maureen Lipman advert, ‘people will always need plates Michael’. Yellow pages?

They won’t ever be out of work.

Their choice of apprenticeships aren’t that different to yours and your partners careers. You could have a future paediatric nurse on your hands with a father/son duo building an empire.

They are still young so might change their minds later on but these apprenticeships will always be there to fall back on if needed which I think is really sensible.

Having paid thousands to a joiner for cupboards i wouldn't be remotely worried about your DS

However, childcare is badly paid, with poor pensions and often long hours. Id only really recommend it for someone with their own home who can be self employed and work as a childminder.

Yanbu to provide her with plenty of balanced info about the relative pay in that career & what thats likely to mean in terms of affording housing as an adult etc, and to also provide information on similae careers with higher earning potential like primary school teaching. However you need to be clear its her choice. Your job as a parent is to make sure she is making an informed choice.

I do get where you’re coming from and can tell that’s it’s coming from a place of love and concern, but perhaps they consider themselves to have had a happy childhood and want to follow a similar path in life to you and your husband?

I tell mine that I’ll support whatever they want to do as long as they can support themselves and are happy. I’m not sure if DS2 will go to university, even though he’s quite academic.

If you don’t have a partner, it’s not easy living as a single person on minimum wage. Not everyone is in a couple.

I don’t know why the cost of living board and other boards are so busy and why theres anyone complaining about about living life on a low wage, if it’s so good. 🙄 It’s simply not!

of course it's not 'only' harder if you're a parent
You might have more time if you don't have kids (although you could have other commitments) but you'd still be an adult with presumably adult financial commitments that meant you couldn't just stop working and go back to school full time while expecting mum and dad to house, feed and support you as you would at 16-18/21.
Not many people can easily just give up work for a few years to go back to college, and then university, regardless of if they have kids or not.

This comment is horrible. Ignore it OP.

How is it horrible? It’s the exact same as what she is saying about her children, but in reverse.