To be sad neither of my kids are very ambitious

[EmsieJoe]

I have twins, they are 15 and they start their national 5 exams this week. They are both smart kids, predicted A in over half of their subjects like English, Art, Geography and Modern Studies for DD. DS is predicted A in Maths, Practical Woodworking and Design and Manufacturing and Graphic Communication.
DD was originally going to stay on, and do highers, but she's now applied to do an apprenticeship in Childcare and DS has an apprenticeship in Joinery lined up.

I can't help but feeling a little sad that they aren't trying to achieve more. I'm a nurse and DH is a painter and decorator, I really wanted them to use the brains they are blessed with and achieve more but now it seems they will be in relatively low earning jobs.

AIBU to feel sad and like they are wasting their potential?

Haha good one

they both have apprenticeships lined up.

this shows that they have ambition surely?

If I could go back again I wish I had done an apprenticeship instead of university, uptake in trades are very low where I live and there is so much opportunity and work available! And childcare is a vocation much like nursing. I would be super proud of my kids for these choices and it’s sounds like you’ve done a great job. Well done x

I mean people will always need childcare and furniture or door frames , staying on and doing highers to head to uni isn't for everyone good for them for thinking about their future. Have a bloody word with yourself!

I mean your sons exams just point to joinery/carpentry.

i think YABU. My personal opinion and experience is that 15-17 is too young to decide what career they want to do for the rest of their life. I went to uni and have never used my degree for my job. I started at the bottom of a company and worked my up, yet i am still in lots of student debt for nothing. I also found my work experience a lot more valuable to me than my degree.

They can also always change their mind later.

Out of curiosity - what is ‘Modern Studies’?

I actually think having the foresight to choose an apprenticeship at this is age does show ambition! Some would say more so than going to uni to party for 4 years and then end up working in something totally unrelated to their degree (true story mine 😂)

Modern Studies is politics and the such mainly - not sure why it's called that mind!

You will get flamed here daring to disagree with what your children want!! However as a parent why would you not want more for them especially as you say the earning potential - have you tried gently talking to them about this. It is reality and working life is long and they might not fully understand that just now. I totally agree with you that when they can achieve higher grades, they should be gently guided into those most appropriate careers (but I am a 'pushy' one! 😆)

Your priorities are so wrong, you have to let your children find their own path and not project onto them what jobs you think are appropriate.

Apprenticeships are great and very respectable. We need joiners and childcare workers.

I feel quite sad for them both that they are just teenagers trying their best and this is how you feel about them.

I entirely see why you’re disappointed, but they are who they are. They’re kids, they make make different decisions slightly later.

YABU. Success is not measured in money. I am very academic and ambitious. I work in public sector, like yourself. Despite my relatively low pay, I am happy in my job, I am involved in a research project with possibility of publishing and informing future treatments. I co-run multiple outreach projects and I also have a part-time creative business.
I would be very surprised if apprenticeship in joinery doesn't lead to a very comfortable income, though. My partner dropped out of uni to start a construction business and clears annual revenue which is anywhere between 4 and 10 times my income. I imagine your painter decorator husband is also not exactly on a minimum wage.

May end up working for themselves and earning well. Where I live these people command very good wages. Anyway, they need to be happy in what they do

Please don't be! I'd far rather my DC did jobs they loved than went into high earning professions that bore them. How you live day by day is the best measure of a good life, imo.

And they are so young. If they do their apprenticeships and then decide to go to uni a bit later, they will know why and probably not waste their time building up massive debts in exchange for getting drunk and living in squalor.

I often think the best time to start uni would be aged about 21-25, after a few years of work, when you have a stronger sense of what you want from life.

Both my DC went to uni and are now in low paid jobs they really want to do instead of the high-earning jobs that held no interest for them.

I think there’s decent earning and development potential with joinery but I’d be a bit worried about the childcare apprenticeship too. Such a valuable and important job but I don’t think the pay reflects that.

academia is not for everyone. Some people learn much better hands on! Let them be.

I don’t think you are unreasonable at all! You are an adult and you understand the demands and constraints of real life. I didn’t understand this at all as a teen and frankly not until I was in my mid twenties and working hard and unable to afford much of life.

They can change direction later though.

Modern studies is a subject in scottish schools it covers politics and social issues, the time period differs when I did it at school the subjects are now history 😀 I'm not sure what the English equivalent subject would be.

There is a depute manager of an early years centre role in my local council (also Scotland) up for £50,000 a year - I wouldn't worry!

If it’s about money then nursery nursing is badly paid but carpentery and joinery is in demand and if business savvy then surely your DS could have his own business one day.

I worked in higher education in two very prestigious Universities for over 25 years. As it was not a vocational subject I can say hand on heart plenty of those graduates did not end up in graduate jobs but did end up in plenty of debt.

I’m assuming you’re in Scotland so no tuition fee debt but honestly some degrees aren’t worth what they used to be due to saturation of the market. Unsure about Scotland but back when I was a gal only 10% of people had degrees so you were a rarer commodity.

I think it's tough for young people. Taking on student debt is extremely daunting and I can completely understand why a young person might shy away from it.

If it makes you feel better OP I came from a fairly educated family and didn't pursue study very enthusiastically until I'd held a few low level jobs and then I decided to go to university because I didn't want to do low skilled work.

Also I started on a very low level after university and then worked my way up to senior levels.

Who is to say that your DD won't end up running a chain of childcare centres?

I think you have to let them find their own path... and they have all the time in the world to change that path if they want to. Securing apprenticeships shows admirable drive and you have to put your own ambitions for them aside.

The step up from Nat 5 to Highers is a significant one both in difficulty and amount of work so they may not feel willing or able to take that on right now.

Plus a joiner is likely to have a good income. Childcare less so as the pay does not at all reflect the importance of the role...

Joinery is a good career. As for childcare, if that's what she's into then maybe she can do it at a higher level. She could go on to a degree in childhood development or something. There are plenty of options.

misses the point of the thread.

Is modern studies the new general studies?

I get what you mean to an extent but I think the fact they both have apprenticeships lined up is something to be very proud of! Also they will always have steady work when qualified which is a huge bonus!

I don’t think there is anything wrong with taking the apprenticeship route but if it were my kids, and they were academically able, I would encourage them to take highers/ a levels first before deciding. You change a lot in those years. They might still choose apprenticeships but they would have more options available to them, particularly if they want to change career further down the line.

Hi op. Firstly, careers are not static nowadays, so what they start out doing at fifteen could turn in to something very different when they are forty.

And they won’t be burdened paying off student loans.

Childcare provision and carpentry will always be in demand.

I live down the road from a carpenter who makes special commissions and was featured in a national magazine.

Working with children can be stressful but an incredibly fulfilling thing to do with your life. And it’s very adaptable if you want to travel or set up your own business.

I wouldn’t worry too much. They can always study in addition to their work later on if they want to.