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Original poster

Horrible experience in supermarket

193 replies

Sally922 · 21/04/2024 14:07

Went to Sainsburys today and I could have just cried. Im a young mum and have a new baby and DP is working today so went by self and still trying to navigate things as it’s all new. I’m just feeling quite overwhelmed. First thing was baby started crying in the trolley, I was trying to soothe her and people were looking and some lady kept passing and raising her eyebrows and giving me a funny look. And then got some comments ‘someone’s not very happy’. Feel like they were judging me. I then got stuck on an aisle as it was busy and I couldn’t move forward. Two older men were behind me and were getting impatient and one said ‘just ram it into her legs’ and the other said ‘I think I might do in a minute’ I felt rushed but the aisle was too busy. Feel like rubbish now

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 21/04/2024 14:08

Fuck them. Seriously.
Talking about assaulting you? Bloody hell.

IncompleteSenten · 21/04/2024 14:09

Meant to say the "someone's not very happy" type comments are more likely to be sympathetic in intent rather than judgemental.

CherryBlossom321 · 21/04/2024 14:09

In my experience, people are generally nasty to new mothers in public places. You’ll learn to ignore it.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 21/04/2024 14:10

Personally I'd have turned around and said 'go on then, I fucking dare you' but I'm a bolshy bitch who has zero tolerance for those kinds of people.
OP, fuck them-you take as long as you need. Also ignore any twat that feels the need to judge or comment on a crying small baby.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 21/04/2024 14:10

They’re cunts. You’re not. Thank your lucky stars you’re not like them.

FuzzyWuzzyWuzABear · 21/04/2024 14:11

It's life I'm afraid, there are rude people everywhere.

"Someone's not happy" is often a friendly acknowledgement though, like in solidarity because most parents/grandparents have been in your position.

Either way I'd try to put it out of your mind because you can guarantee those people won't be thinking about it at all.

patchworkpal · 21/04/2024 14:11

I HATED taking my baby shopping. Its OK now she's older but I couldn't stand how unwelcoming society is towards babies.

I just shopped at quiet times tbh

dimllaishebiaith · 21/04/2024 14:11

The people saying "someone's not very happy" were possibly trying to sympathise with you rather than judge you

The people raising their eyebrows and the men though, fuck them, the arseholes.

That's the kind of thing that would make me go deliberately slow to wind them up although with a crying baby that's probably not the best option!

Hopefully next time you go it won't be arsehole day and you will see nice people

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 21/04/2024 14:12

But yes, also agree that the someone's not very happy comments are usually an attempt at showing that we've all been there.

VestPantsandSocks · 21/04/2024 14:12

What horrible people!

Try to put it out of your mind and enjoy the rest of your day!

InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 21/04/2024 14:12

Sorry you had such a shitty time op.

I've been there with a crying baby and judge looks and it knocks your confidence no end.

The comments about someone not being happy were probably just sympathy comments, although it doesn't feel like it. The guys were bell ends.

Have a cuppa and chill out a bit, tomorrow is a new day. Every parent has been there with trying to navigate the world with a new baby, some just seem to forget how hard it was 💐

Gazelda · 21/04/2024 14:14

Sorry you've had a rotten trip OP. I hope you're back home now with a cuppa and a cuddle.

Try to ignore any people who appear to be rude. Perhaps they're not intending to upset you. Or perhaps they're genuinely rude which says a hell of a lot more about them than you.

In contrast to another poster, most people I encountered when DD was newborn were absolutely lovely. Keen to see her and coo. Jealous of the joy they knew I had ahead of me as I learned the ropes of parenthood.

Don't let others bother you. You're doing fine. You love your baby. That's all that's important.

Fluffy40 · 21/04/2024 14:14

I’m sorry what did you say ? With your phone pointed at their ugly face

Poshcatwithbigears · 21/04/2024 14:15

Ignore them as best you can OP.

There will always be people who want to belittle others in order to feel good in themselves.

It’s their own failing.

MissUltraViolet · 21/04/2024 14:16

About the 10th time my toddler started rolling around on the floor in Tesco screaming over a toy or because she wasn't allowed to climb on the shelving or for some other stupid reason I stopped giving a fuck about what other people thought, you will get to that point too.

You're doing a good job, ignore people around you. Most of the people that stare or tut or say something stupid have had at least one supermarket meltdown with their own child - they just like to forget/pretend they are better.

User1979289 · 21/04/2024 14:16

I would have turned and taken a photo of the men and when they reacted told them I was reporting them to the Police for threatening me and my child. Fuck them OP. A good comment to recite is "yes, we were all babies once weren't we" and roll your eyes.

Saschka · 21/04/2024 14:16

Get your shopping delivered. Seriously, a saver slot is about £2, well worth it to avoid setting foot in a supermarket.

upinclouds · 21/04/2024 14:17

Oh blimey, I know how you feel.

My second child hated supermarkets - I don't know if it was the lights/sounds or what. But he would cry from the minute we got in til the minute we got out. The checkout ladies would say "oh, we heard you come in!"

I had no choice because my DH worked away (this was before the days of online supermarkets) and I'd often get people commenting "oh dear, someone's got out of bed the wrong side/has he got wind/is he hungry" ALL the time. I'm pretty sure they are generally just being sympathetic but the impatient trolley bashing twats would've got a filthy look 🤨

ZenNudist · 21/04/2024 14:17

The comments were probably in sympathy. I'm sure the lady wasn't giving you a funny look. I'm struggling to understand how you were blocking an aisle with your trolley. Most people would say excuse me and move past if they were able to move past even if you couldn't.

Gently it sounds like you're very overwhelmed and hormonal. It would be a good idea to speak to your doctor if things don't settle in case you have PND.

It is harder doing stuff with a baby in tow at first. You're doing the right thing going out and getting on with life without hand holding from your DH. You just need to be a bit more confident and worry less what other people think.

plumcake2924 · 21/04/2024 14:19

patchworkpal · 21/04/2024 14:11

I HATED taking my baby shopping. Its OK now she's older but I couldn't stand how unwelcoming society is towards babies.

I just shopped at quiet times tbh

Totally opposite of my experience, one of the nicer things I found about having my baby is that everyone is much kinder to you in public.

CheezePleeze · 21/04/2024 14:20

User1979289 · 21/04/2024 14:16

I would have turned and taken a photo of the men and when they reacted told them I was reporting them to the Police for threatening me and my child. Fuck them OP. A good comment to recite is "yes, we were all babies once weren't we" and roll your eyes.

See I think a simple 'Piss off' would be less dramatic and more effective.

lazyarse123 · 21/04/2024 14:21

I've been guilty of saying "someone's not happy" and never meant it as a criticism, and always said with a smile. But the men definitely are cunts of the highest order. Try not to take it to heart it says more about them than you.
I have never forgotten taking my DD to Morrisons she would have been about 14 months and I was 5 months pregnant with son and she had a proper tantrum in the doorway, no idea why because she'd never done it before and these two older women were both saying "you want to give her a smack and pick her up" I just replied "if you want to get anywhere near those kicking feet you're welcome to try but i won't be picking her up or smacking her but thanks for your input". They slunk off, we weren't actually in the way so I just waited till she'd calmed down. No idea why people think it's okay to tell you what to do, if I want help I'll ask.
Sorry went off on a tangent.

Catdoorman · 21/04/2024 14:21

You are not rubbish, They are .

Pepperama · 21/04/2024 14:21

I hated taking my son grocery shopping at that age and started to do more online shopping.
But agree with others that ‘oh dear someone isn’t happy’ tends to be to commiserate. The men were nasty idiots - that’s rare fortunately. You and your kid have the right to take as long as you want anywhere you want, if they don’t like it they can go elsewhere or shop at night.
The early days are tough. So many new routines, sense of identity, mood all over the place, so so tired … honestly, it gets easier quickly as you get into the swing of things!

Overthinking22 · 21/04/2024 14:22

Forget you're a young mum, you're a new mum navigating the hell of the early days. I was nearly 40 with a baby and I hated it. The older men were dicks and just focus on how well you did today getting out house and to the shops on your own. That's a win. x