Horrible experience in supermarket

[Sally922]

Went to Sainsburys today and I could have just cried. Im a young mum and have a new baby and DP is working today so went by self and still trying to navigate things as it’s all new. I’m just feeling quite overwhelmed. First thing was baby started crying in the trolley, I was trying to soothe her and people were looking and some lady kept passing and raising her eyebrows and giving me a funny look. And then got some comments ‘someone’s not very happy’. Feel like they were judging me. I then got stuck on an aisle as it was busy and I couldn’t move forward. Two older men were behind me and were getting impatient and one said ‘just ram it into her legs’ and the other said ‘I think I might do in a minute’ I felt rushed but the aisle was too busy. Feel like rubbish now

I’m sorry you had a bad experience. It feels really stressful when they have a meltdown but I promise your in baby sounds a million times louder and more distressing to you then the people around you - it’s one of those evolutionary tricks they have of making you respond to their needs!

I have a 9 month old baby and I have far more pleasant experiences (than unpleasant) of people fussing over my baby, smiling at him and cooing. If you want to feel better about humankind, find an M&S cafe - the old people there won’t be able to get enough of your adorable baby!

Please don’t let a few bellends put you off doing a necessary task. As you have more successful outings, I promise you will feel more confident.

I remember being so freaked out at the thought of going out with my baby the first time. The early days are tough and you are still finding your feet, honestly don’t pay any attention to anyone else but you and baby. The more you go out the more confident you will feel. It will get better I promise.

'some one isn't happy' was def them trying to sympathise with you.

The man that wanted to hit you in the knees is an arsehole!

Sounds miserable OP - but you will have to toughen up and get used to the shitshow that is shopping with little ones.....

I had twins, and when they were about 4 (I'd guess? Maybe 6? was a long time ago....) I left them by the supermarket doors playing on the 'put a pound in and the horsey will move up and down' machine. They were very loud but making happy noises not crying or arguing.

It was only a small local supermarket, and I took my few bits to one of the tills. I said to the elderly cashier something along the lines of 'ha ha I can still hear my noisy monsters from here....'. She must have misheard me and thought I was criticising the awful noisy children playing on the horse. She immediately leapt in to agree, and said how appalling it was that parents would allow their children to behave in such a dreadful way etc etc, on and on..... I must have touched a nerve.....😬.

Some people just have zero tolerance for children of any age. You will learn to ignore.

Congratulations on your LO, and enjoy every moment. They grow up too fast....

I wish I had been with you! I would have told those arsehole men exactly what I thought of them!

Some people are just dickheads OP, and so many people forget that we were all babies once. Also I know the ones saying "someone's not very happy" are probably not being nasty but this used to piss me off as I'd think, well its not very helpful is it, and if one person has said it then probably five others already have and its fucking draining having to acknowledge people when you're already stressed about your baby crying. The only advice I can give is to ignore it and it does get easier x

Yeah mums are just expected to get on with it but if a dad does anything for their child everyone thinks they are so good doing the mum a favour. Wow he does (insert any basic parenting here) isn't he good, ah aren't you lucky that he does x etc.

Honestly, nobody who matters is judging you for having a baby crying, ever!

Oh people can be really
mean when there’s a crying baby that’s not their own around! Ignore them and try not to get into a slanging match in public infront of dc. Keep your chin up

Oh no, such a shame you had such a horrible experience, so sorry. I always found men and women extra nice in my local Morrison's with new borns! I went with my youngest when he was 3 days old, and one lady came over to coo, and when I said how young he was she was so sympathetic and told me I should be sitting down, she couldn't believe I could walk! Both have screamed the house down and all the faces I saw were sympathetic, I've emergency breastfed on the benches at the end of the checkouts too with no complaints. Perhaps you had the misfortune to be in there at the same time as two of the worse men in town. Hopefully next time will be better and you'll get sympathetic coos instead. Chin up, look after yourself, there's always more nice people than horrible ones!

Someone made a similar comment about ramming me with a trolley because I obviously wasn't moving fast enough for them! I don't have a baby just poor mobility, I never gave the piece of crap another thought until I read your post! Forget about them!

Oh you are doing a grand job - focus on you and your beautiful baby. Most people, I believe are kind and likely making comments to show they've been there.
Comments telling you to swear at them or be hostile are not helpful.

Honey ALL babies and children cry or play up at some time in the supermarket - it’s a rite of passage and we’ve all been there. As to the miserable old sods behind you, I’d have gone slowly even when I could have moved through. And if they did ram my legs I’d call the manager and tell him/her I’d been intentionally assaulted, because they had stated their intention to do so and would he/she call the police

I'm so sorry people were uncaring fuckers to you in the supermarket. I remember very clearly the judgey comments I'd get when trying to get my daughter to sleep in the pushchair and she was wailing.

I didn't have the confidence then that I have now, so now will always tell any mum I see getting looks something like 'You're doing a great job.' I don't know if it helps but I hope so.

I also believe there are only two types of people in the world, those who understand and those who don't matter. Those people are clearly type two!

I ran over my child with a trolley in the supermarket once! I’m not even sure how it happened, all I know I was pushing the trolley and looking at the produce so not looking where I was going. Then some people around me started sounding alarmed and when I looked DS (then aged about 3) was under the trolley! He’s 26 now and has no recollection of this and if anyone in the supermarket was judging me I didn’t even register. So cheer yourself up with the fact that at least you didn’t do what I did! Actually my recollection of passers by is that they were quite kind despite the fact I’d run over my child. To be clear he was between the wheels so I hadn’t actually mown him down but still 😬🙃

So sorry you went through that! I'm a new young mum too. As soon as we went into a supermarket, my baby would wake up and start crying, it was awful!

I think the comment someones not very happy isn't trying to be mean to be honest, I usually just reply "oh he always cries in this shop" and they would be sympathetic and say its probably the lights or the smells. It usually ends up a nice interaction 😊

As for the two men, they just sound like disgusting pigs. I've definitely found that since being a mother I've become a lot more defensive because I have my baby to look after. I would have said "did you just say you're going to ram my legs?" Loud so people around would hear and you would have back up!

Don't let it get to you, as the months go by you will find yourself much more used to it all. There's a lot of nice people out there too x

I had the same today! I was all in a kerfuffle because I hadn't brought my shopping bags and had two lots of shopping and an elderly woman behind me shoved her trolley right into me. I said ouch she said sorry but her face was all angry.. oh dear! I think I'll stick to self service..

That’s crappy. Honestly it will get better. It’s really hard in the early months, everything feels scary but trust me it gets better. Ignore the shitty people or tell them to back the fuck off.