Horrible experience in supermarket

[Sally922]

Went to Sainsburys today and I could have just cried. Im a young mum and have a new baby and DP is working today so went by self and still trying to navigate things as it’s all new. I’m just feeling quite overwhelmed. First thing was baby started crying in the trolley, I was trying to soothe her and people were looking and some lady kept passing and raising her eyebrows and giving me a funny look. And then got some comments ‘someone’s not very happy’. Feel like they were judging me. I then got stuck on an aisle as it was busy and I couldn’t move forward. Two older men were behind me and were getting impatient and one said ‘just ram it into her legs’ and the other said ‘I think I might do in a minute’ I felt rushed but the aisle was too busy. Feel like rubbish now

The men were arses. The not very happy comments were fine. If you feel judged by that its your issue.

Sorry I can guarantee it's not judgemental etc. Your feeling emotional, it's a first shopping. You did well going out today I've got 3 toddlers and olders but I've never felt judged when these comments are made there pretty normal tbf. It will get better it just takes a few tries to get into your rhythm

Oh sorry but the men comments were weird I do agree with that but the rest some people love to keep looking at a new baby and the someone's not happy is just chatter 😊

Yeah i go evening now..i know people judge having a baby out at 6-7pm shopping.

But honestly, no panicking about parking, not as many people around, its so much more chilled.

Shes generally had dinner, in her pjs..so she either sleeps going around then when home as shes ready for bed i just pop her straight in cot haha

I use to end up going and leaving without half of what i needed as id be rushed through the aisle or get stuck if it was crowded.

Everytime ive tried home delivery, ive had rubbish substitutions, food that is out of date the next day so i just have to do another shop.

I remember when my DD was 2 weeks old being in Boots, she was crying, I was really flustered trying to pay in a rush and the shop assistant said “someone’s hungry”. Obviously she wasn’t to know but I was massively struggling with BF at the time and it made me feel so guilty and rubbish. I wanted to cry too. Everyone has been there but tomorrow is a new day.

I agree the "someone's not happy" was most likely a 'been there, done that" sympathy comment meant in a friendly way.
The men on the other hand were total twats and hopefully will get the shits from whatever food they bought 😂
I doubt anyone was judging you because you had a crying baby. Babies cry. That's their job.
Focus on your baby, on yourself and your shopping. Ignore everyone else and ignore stupid comments.
💐

They we threatening to assault you in order to get you to do as they wished (hurry up) You should report them to the police. They will prob have cctv and will be able to identify

Horrible idiots. You did nothing to deserve that. I never took my dc shopping, or did anything when they were little on my own. I know it sounds ridiculous but something like these comments and the sound of my baby crying would have set my anxiety off. Well done on taking your baby out op, these idiots are far and few don't worry.

OMG I hope you are OK. Please know that not everybody is like this, especially those two awful men! Don't let this put you off going out with your beautiful baby, you have every right to go shopping and people should be more understanding!

I'm sorry - the trolley thing was truly horrid, but as others have said 'Someone's not happy' is a sympathetic expression, not a judgement.

Sometimes if people are being horrid I'm having a hard day I have been to tell them so and my experience has been that people back right off when they realise they are being shits. This is one of the reasons I keep frustration in check when someone might seem to be 'faffing around' or doing something that annoys because how would I feel if I had a go and then realise that they were only inconveniencing me because they were experiencing difficulties.

They were not threatening her ffs

They might have been airing sone frustration and a belief that op wasn't being very assertive in moving forward but if you take that as a threat you will find life very difficult

Do you have a sling? Baby wearing instead of in the trolley might make things a lot easier.

We've all been there op. It's crap. It's one of the reasons we did either click and collect or deliveries for years!

I genuinely found my two hated the plastic supermarket seat. Some things helped, taking a blanket to make it warm was one. If not, how about putting baby in a sling?

Someone isn't happy is sympathetic comment not a criticism, it demonstrates that they understand. It was said to me 25 years ago too

No idea about the men.

Turn around next time and say what did you just say to a women who has just had a baby - did you just threaten to ram my legs with your trolley ?Do you have wives, sisters, mothers? And is this how you talk about them…and support them?

Honestly. This is my experience every single time I leave the house. People are weird and inconsiderate. It upsets me
all the more because as a society I always feel we should protect the most vulnerable first (could be my catholic
upbringing/ convent education speaking here) but if you see a new mum with a tiny baby it’s like for Jesus sake be patient and be kind.

People are horrible my love. It’s not you. It’s them. I avoid supermarkets with my little one (also a new Mum). I’ve had similar and worse experiences since he’s been born. It’s hard because you feel vulnerable because you’ve just given birth and you have a little baby to protect. Which is precisely why people should be considerate. Always. To all. But especially to people who need it most. Sometimes I wonder if the pandemic made people worse at this. I think in many ways it has.

You are doing amazing. In case no one told you yet today and congratulations. People are nasty but it’s no reflection on you.

♥️

I agree. The men wanting to ram you are out if order though.

I'm sorry, the older men sound awful!!

The other looks and comments may have been meant to be sympathetic. But sometimes it doesn't feel like that when you are in the middle of it.

I've barely stepped into a supermarket since I had my kids (over 20 years ago). I never took them with me when they were small. Have you tried setting up an online supermarket shop? I don't think I could have survived the last 20 years of kids and work without!

Absolutely this!
I had the same experience.
Just ignore them, @Sally922

Found this too. I loved the pram pushing days. People very kind and helpful, holding doors open etc and also lots of people keen to chat about baby and coo over him.

People can be so vile. I remember that raw new mum feeling very well.
Take care and try to go shopping when it's quieter if you can - not meaning to judge at all, just wishing you an easier shop.

Some people are lovely when you have a new baby, others are shit bags
You have every right to go at your own pace, maybe if you take your baby in the car seat, and if you have a hood that comes over and attaches to the handle, use this, if your baby is looking at bright lights it may be a bit uncomfortable. Take distraction toys (attached to the car seat handle so you don't lose them) and feed just before you go so they're fed, changed and hopefully snoozy.
Good luck and enjoy your baby, don't let others spoil anything g for you. Oh and don't forget that you hear your baby much louder than other people as that's how we're designed, just take it all in your stride 😊

I find this a lot. Why do you think this is? Horrendous.

The men were arsehokes

Most other people were probably sympathising.

Most people don't care or aren't interested and are very unlikto be judging. Judging you for what?.

Please don't waste time reporting this to the police they will not be interested.