To occasionally be in pyjamas when in laws come over?

[Thebakingqueen]

Dhs parents ring us every Saturday and Sunday morning to see what we're up to. They always want to come over early. They often turn up earlier than arranged. They ring at 8am.

I got fed up of always worrying about being ready and having the house tidy (it's not a shithole just lived in). I was fed up of feeling harassed every weekend to be honest too, so I decided they'll have to take me as they find me. It's the weekend and I want to do things at my leisure.

On a couple of occasions I've still been in pyjamas when they arrived and mil has commented negatively or laughed at me.

If I've been upstairs showing and getting dressed mil wanders upstairs to find me.

Aibu to do as I please in my own home?

Every weekend

Don't you ever see friends or other family or do something you and dh and kids

Dh needs to grow some balls and tell his ma and pa

Or move car from drive. Don't answer door

PS the usual MN comment is that you have a DH problem

Show your DH this thread. The relationship they’re dictating to you is not respectful. It’s them imposing their will on you. No wonder you husband struggles to stand up for himself. It’s likely he’s never been able to with them. Time to start learning!

I'm genuinely astonished you've put up with this.

I'd be having firm words explaining I want to lie in or do whatever the hell I want to in my OWN HOUSE every weekend without an audience!

Moving forwards DH can go to THEIR house to visit them at weekends if he is so bothered. If they fail to comply I'd be blocking them on my phone and telling DH if he answers the door our relationship is done and I'd mean it too.

So much for your home being your sanctuary with those 2 constantly calling/visiting.

Make very loud sex noises every time they ring the bell before 11am. If they won't go away, send your DH to answer the door with handcuffs on and chocolate smeared all over him.

I think you should be dressed before they arrive. Say no earlier than 10am. Your DH needs to be firm.

Then send him out to meet them for coffee and let you sleep.

Why are in laws/parents like this?? Usually those aged around mid 60s to late 70s? Is it boredom? Wanting control of their adult children’s lives? I’m speaking from experience. I love my parents and in laws to pieces and would be lost without them. However, the constant badgering at weekends and general nit picking can be draining.

My father in law started a habit of just turning up at 9 on a Saturday morning - demanding DS puts down his computer game and “listens to him”. Usually I’d agree no PS5 whilst guests are there but he was totally uninvited! Then demands that DS gets dressed and walks to the shop with him. We were having a lovely lazy moving one time when it happened. In law is intimidating so I had to go and search high and low for something to dress DS in even though we’d planned a lovely, lazy morning. I was so upset that I’ve nipped it in the bud now.

What parents/in laws need to understand is - that after a week of early school/work mornings where every thing is stressful, it’s just nice to have that freedom of chilling on a weekend.

I’d fucking kill them, but not before saving the filthiest, grubbiest, most stained pyjamas to wear just for lovely mil.

I've just turned 60, DH is 54 and absolutely no way would we be pestering our adult children like this.

I'm not dressed on a weekend morning and like to get my chores done before having my shower ( obviously depending on plans), but typically that's my routine after a week at work.
I don't entertain calls/ visits at a weekend until at least noon.
My daughters also have lives and I wouldn't be calling on them that early either.
Calls at 8am are for emergencies only.

I wouldn’t mind seeing my in laws every weekend but I’d hate to have them turn up before 11am on a Saturday. We would never be dressed! It’s our time to chill out, cook breakfast, go slowly. At this point, given you’ve already clearly told them not to come before a certain time, I’d be not answering the phone, keeping the curtains shut and refusing to answer the door! I think you truly are a saint. They sound a total nightmare.

Your boy 😂

Why are in laws/parents like this?? Usually those aged around mid 60s to late 70s? Is it boredom?

It's not an age thing, it's a personality thing. My parents are 60's/70's and DH's dad is 80 - none of them would ever dream of popping in unannounced or phoning at 8am on a Saturday morning (emergencies aside).

You say close knit, may I suggest horrendously enmeshed. Boundaries , boundaries, boundaries.

Tell them you don’t want them to come. End of. So intrusive.

It's not an age thing, it's a personality thing.

Yes! I am a MIL, knocking 70. Would not ever think this is appropriate behaviour. Good grief!

Why are you both incapable of putting a stop to this?

They're incapable because OP has tried but OP's DH doesn't see the problem because he's fucking enmeshed with his parents so OP doubts herself. In a nutshell.
DH problem.

NO!!

Don't answer the bloody door!
When they phone, tell them it's not convenient today
If they come early warn them you won't let them in before x 0'clock
If your husband is a wet lettuce, YOU tell them.

Seriously, how do some people actually function in the outside world?

I don't care how awful they used to be. They're still awful now!

Yes. Why?
Just put your phone's on silent or do not disturb, and tell, not ask, your MIL to leave your bedroom.

Me too!

You should definitely show your DH this thread OP

Calling that early every Saturday and Sunday is not normal and would send me round the bend

Coming upstairs and into your room is bang out of order

Your DH needs to tell them it's not acceptable. Being such a wet lettuce and putting his parents above you is not an attractive trait. My fanjo would be sealing up...

Your pil sound intrusive and controlling. It's creepy.

Why can't they leave you alone to enjoy a weekend sleep in or loll aprons in your pyjamas?

Who on earth do they think they are?

@Minniliscious · Today 12:27
Why are in laws/parents like this?? Usually those aged around mid 60s to late 70s?

You know what you can do with your ageism, don't you?

It's nothing to do with age - it's personality and the fact that no bugger has ever said NO and meant it

I'm nearly 70. I didn't wake up till 10 this morning myself. No way I'd be ringing anyone at such an unearthly hour

Your dh is not soft. He's a weakling mummy's boy.

He says no to you, doesn't he, when you ask him to lay down some boundaries.

He has no problem saying no just not to his parents.