To occasionally be in pyjamas when in laws come over?

[Thebakingqueen]

Dhs parents ring us every Saturday and Sunday morning to see what we're up to. They always want to come over early. They often turn up earlier than arranged. They ring at 8am.

I got fed up of always worrying about being ready and having the house tidy (it's not a shithole just lived in). I was fed up of feeling harassed every weekend to be honest too, so I decided they'll have to take me as they find me. It's the weekend and I want to do things at my leisure.

On a couple of occasions I've still been in pyjamas when they arrived and mil has commented negatively or laughed at me.

If I've been upstairs showing and getting dressed mil wanders upstairs to find me.

Aibu to do as I please in my own home?

Just stay in bed and let your husband entertain them

Just don’t answer the phone.

Move!

How old are they?

Honestly I know that they are a pita. Dh doesn't realise what a saint I've been.

Before we married and had kids Dh had his own place and in laws would just let themselves in.

They was a time we were sprawled out half dressed on the sofa and mil just came in and sat down. Another time we were about to sit down for dinner together and his whole family walked in.

Believe me we've cut back a lot on things with them.

I was in bed once with D&V and mil still came upstairs to find me.

In their 60s.

I'm just so used to them now tbh. They're a lot better than they used to be.

What on earth do they do at your house? Are they just hanging about? Can you get them to do useful stuff?
I couldn't have anyone wandering into my room. You obviously don't like it either do you need to politely put a stop to it.

Do they have a key?

Put a lock on your bedroom door

No no they don't have a key anymore. They had a key to dhs old place years ago before we married and they'd walk in when it suited them.

They are very overbearing people but dh is soft. They've always been a close knit family. I'm pretty sure that they think I'm stand offish because I like them to ring before turning up. With sil (their daughter) they come and go as they please.

I think that if they're going to come over early they'll have to take us as they find us.

They come to me and I'm in PJs. And I sometimes go to them (also in PJs). My MIL deffo thinks it's odd but doesn't say anything.

Why isn't your H stopping them from.just wondering around your house when he knows you're showering/ unwell. I'd have a massive issue with him letting his mother off with that.

I’m sorry but I’d be telling dh to speak up or I would. Dh is way more tactful than me.

they phone every weekend morning at 8am, no thank you , our weekends are for long lies, lazy days and to do as we please. I wouldn’t dream of going up anyone stairs unless I had asked to use their toilet! That is bizarre behaviour.

this needs nipped in the bud. They are invading your weekends.

Rather than say "come over at 10" try saying "come any time after 10, but not before." They may not realise that being early is a no-no.

Why? Just why are you allowing anybody to come over ‘early’ at the weekend? No. It’s your weekend and you are allowed to have agency over your own lives and house. As for finding you upstairs - why? What does she intend to do once she’s ’found you’ stepping out of the shower ffs? Why are you so passive about all of this? Is this a cultural thing?

They ring every Sat/Sun to see what you’re up to?!
Christ that would drive me mad.

I think I’ll be a good MIL. I’m usually the one hiding going ‘who the bloody hell’s that’ when the doorbell goes 😄

Yanbu this is nuts
my mil once turned up at 8.45 am on a Sunday morning. I think the sight of me in pyjamas shocked that she was there so early put her right off. She hasn’t done that since!

If I've been upstairs showing and getting dressed mil wanders upstairs to find me.

wtf??? This is NOT normal! Nor is the 8am calls or just turning up but def not this!

My phone is on do not disturb until 10am on weekends. I wouldn’t even hear the phone call or text.

Are you in-laws Greek by any chance? They sound very Greek (I have experience)

*your

No we're not Greek.

Believe me we've had many discussions/arguments. Dh thinks it's quite normal to have your parents over every weekend Saturday and Sunday. He is soft and doesn't like saying no.

I've told him to tell his mum not to wander upstairs he always says he didn't notice.

@Thebakingqueen do they have a key to your house????? I wouldnt be answering the door!

So if you or DH work during the week you basically spend your only full days together with his parents? Fuck that…

I’m never going to complain about my in-laws again after this post.

Can you get your parents, friends, neighbours, colleagues (any random strangers you can pull in off the streets) to start dropping round all weekend to both show DH how intrusive this actually is and maybe put off the in-laws?

Cor blimey.

This will live rent free in my mind all week.

Your DP needs to set some boundaries. 9am - 9pm are acceptable phone call times.

I am just gobsmacked they pitch up twice at weekends.

I’d be answering the door naked and saying - your boy and I are a bit busy, could you come back in July? Thanks!

Dump the kids on them and tell them you're going back to bed.