To be shocked not to be told trans student sharing bedroom on school trips

[rosesrredviolets]

DD aged 15 shared a bedroom with a trans girl (born a boy) on a school trip. Dd only found out the sleeping arrangements whilst on the trip and we only found out later. I presumed that trans students would have their own bedrooms at this age. Am shocked not to have at least been asked by school in advance. However it would appear that the policy given to schools is that sharing is fine.

Why am I being deleted ?

This is not ok and I'd be absolutely furious. Please take this up with the school and get a clear statement about the process and decision making.

It's not ok for a biological boy to be sleeping in the same room as a biological girl.

I honestly don't understand why anything thinks is this a good idea... On what basis? If the trans child feels uncomfortable sleeping in a room with other children the same sex as when, they could be offered their own room. For exactly this same reason, biological girls should not be forced to sleep in the same room as biological boys.

OP this is scandalous and I'd be onto the school asap to complain. How dare they put your daughter in this position?

I'm also a teacher. I was in a school where a parent threatened the school with legal action when they refused to allow a girl claiming to be a boy to share a dormitory with boys (GCSE field trip). When the school got a letter from a trans activist group threatening legal action, the staff cancelled the trip.

Thankyou for the guidelines however they are just a draft from Dec 2023 so presumably school could say that is just a draft. Is there any rules already in existence that they should have been following as it would make it much easier to complain.

It is when those genitalia are the kind that could get her teenage daughter pregnant.

Parent of trans boy (born female)

When they went away with community youth group at 16 - (but like a pgl holiday) I insisted on him sleeping in a separate room - as knew he wouldn’t want to be in the girls dorm and I didn’t want him in the boys dorm (as body fully female) . Think the leaders were very relieved at this request!

He was allocated a single room to sleep in with an en-suite for showering - he was totally integrated during daytime activities - no one knew why he had a single room except the leaders (he was and is living ‘stealth’ not telling people he was born a girl)

I think him having a single room was right for EVERYONE .

I think you are well within your rights to raise this as an issue.

I wonder how liable the school would e if your DD had been assaulted and come back pregnant!!!! I'll bet the rules would change pretty damned quick.

OP - have a look at the link (I posted it earlier). These are draft guidelines from the DfE - the consultation is now closed and we're waiting for the final version. The first pages set out very clearly the basic principles and are clear that there must be no mixed sex undressing etc

https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/supporting_documents/Gender%20Questioning%20Children%20%20nonstatutory%20guidance.pdf

https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/supporting_documents/Gender%20Questioning%20Children%20%20nonstatutory%20guidance.pdf

You've already been linked to this. Pg 14 6.4 Single-Sex Spaces Schools must always protect single-sex spaces with regard to toilets, showers and changing rooms, as set out below. Responding to a request to support any degree of social transition must not include allowing access to these spaces. As a default, all children should use the toilets, showers and changing facilities designated for their biological sex

pg 15

6.43 Boarding and residential accommodation In allocating sleeping arrangements such as dormitories, tents or shared rooms for school trips, each child’s sex is relevant. Schools and colleges must meet their safeguarding obligations set out in Keeping Children Safe in Education (KCSIE). No child should be allowed to share a room with a child of the opposite sex. If a child questioning their gender does not wish to share a room with another child of the same sex, where possible, and only after the school has considered relevant factors outlined above, alternative arrangements should be sought. These alternative arrangements should not compromise the safety, comfort, privacy or dignity of the child, or of other pupils, for instance finding a suitable separate room for the pupil.

Safeguarding is drummed into school staff, and particularly for residential school trips. The Trans Toolkit was not a legal requirement. It was 'guidance' for how to include trans pupils but schools have a legal duty of safeguarding pupils that overrides trans suggestions on being 'inclusive'.

https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/
Scroll down to the Gender Questioning Guidance Document and go to section 6.43 which states that no child should be allowed to share a room with a child of the opposite sex.

The rules were already in existence. I (and the other poster) have linked you the updated draft version from last December.

The KCSIE requirements were in place long before 'trans toolkits' which did not ever over ride them.

Massive safeguarding failure. Definitely kick up a fuss, OP

No - there are no legal guidelines at present which is why transactivist groups have felt free to make up their own for schools - hence too many adults believing that girls should be compelled into mixed sex sleeping etc.

It's a mess in terms of safeguarding but hopefully is slowly starting to be sorted.

It bloody is when a penis is being forced into my daughters room

It fucking is her business if that genitalia is sharing a bedroom with her daughter

Thank you for the links which I have read. Yes I can see that when the draft is published it will be clear I am just not sure if school will accept that the rules have to be followed now. It seems there is no clear agreement from posters here. I dont think school will be happy to admit to an error unless there are 100% clear rules already in place that I can show them.

You could ask them why they normally separate male and female pupils in accommodation.
Then ask them why those reasons aren't valid just because a pupil is gender questioning.
Ask also to see the risk assessment they did when permitting mixed sex accommodation.

For troll hunting I would think. If you don't believe it you can report the OP

Cos she was troll hunting.

Trying to silence a woman who was concerned about her DD sharing a room with a boy.

What an absolute disgrace.