To be shocked not to be told trans student sharing bedroom on school trips

[rosesrredviolets]

DD aged 15 shared a bedroom with a trans girl (born a boy) on a school trip. Dd only found out the sleeping arrangements whilst on the trip and we only found out later. I presumed that trans students would have their own bedrooms at this age. Am shocked not to have at least been asked by school in advance. However it would appear that the policy given to schools is that sharing is fine.

Not always. When DD went to Paris they didn't know for certain how many rooms would be 2s or 3s or 4s.

I’d be going ballistic at this.

So your 15 year old daughter shared a room with a boy who likes to wear female style clothing

Absofuckinglutely unacceptable

Yes, but why are you insistent that OP must have known who was sharing before the trip then??

They are on every trip I've ever run. The trip companies ask me for room lists 2 weeks before departure.

This

sorry blue but i don’t understand your point in this context

rightly or wrongly the OP feels that daughter/parents should have been informed in advance and they weren’t

Greywitch - I am told that the 2019 trans inclusion tool kit recommends this sharing of rooms. Has this been replaced and what risk assessment should school have done?

I have reported you. This is utter rubbish. Government statutory requirements state:
Schools and colleges must meet their safeguarding obligations set out in Keeping Children Safe in Education (KCSIE). No child should be allowed to share a room with a child of the opposite sex.

They are specific about trans children, saying if they are questioning their gender they do not have to share with someone of the same sex - so this child would not have had to share with a boy. But they must therefore be allocated a single room.

They are definitely not allowed, by law, to be placed in a room with a biological girl.

How on earth is whether teachers are aware of the room sharing arrangements prior to the trip relevant to this OP?! The whole point is the children didn't know. I agree with pps - I never share details of who is sharing with whom until we arrive at the centre. I don't understand why experienced teachers are so certain this is rubbish.

Thank you, @Greywitch2 .
It's very clear what schools have to do.

Why was blue deleted?

There would be no "outing" of the child if the school hadn't put a male in with a female.

... and furthermore, putting the OPs child in with an opposite sex one very much is her concern. Safeguarding 101.

Yes but the OP is talking about the daughter and OP not knowing

i dont think anyone is arguing that the teachers don’t know

Greywitch - sorry but not sure what you are reporting me for. I searched on MN before posting this and found posts from 2022 referring to the trans tool kit that schools should follow from 2019. I read it and saw what it stated before I posted. If it is out of date that is fine but it is the first time I have ever had to look at trans information. I dont work in a school or know if IAMBU hence the query.

Is your DD friends with this kid? If not, it seems a strange choice to have them in the same room anyway.

Exactly - I don’t believe a word of it

Massive safeguarding fail. Girls and boys are entitled to single sex spaces when undressing, showering and sleeping. No girl should be asked if they want to share a bedroom with a boy - or vice versa. The consequences for them in giving the "wrong" reply can be massive. It is not a girl's responsibility to validate a boy's belief he's really a girl - she's not a support human.

Adults are responsible for safeguarding and none of this should be delegated to students.

There are new draft guidelines for schools that make it explicit - no children should have mixed sex undressing, showering or sleeping forced on them. They're not perfect but they're start in ensuring the safety of girls in particular.

https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/supporting_documents/Gender%20Questioning%20Children%20%20nonstatutory%20guidance.pdf

Are you saying the school should have outed this child to you? The genitalia of another child is absolutely none of your concern. YABU.

Don't be so ridiculous. It absolutely IS of the OP's concern. The school should either have told parents or preferably, to avoid 'outing' the student to parents (though I don't really see the issue with this, since presumably all the other kids know, and they wouldn't have had to name him) placed him in a single room.

Interesting that my posts saying it’s a load of bullshit are being deleted

Never said that

As every trans group going is desperately insisting to schools that mixed sex changing, showering and sleeping is essential I can't see why you're so sceptical?

Yes, my point was that even though all three were over 18 (sixth formers), and the transgender person was biologically female, it was still discussed in advance with the three pupils.

Graywitch - Please can you post link/part of the document that I can send to the governors to show they have broken a clear government rule. That would make it much easier for me to complain.