Washing up - is DH filthy or am I overreacting?

[Washingupfury]

I have name changed for this. Dh and I have a disagreement about washing up water. He feels that you fill the sink, start with cleanest stuff eg glasses work your way through to the dirty stuff and no need to change the water unless the bubbles disappear, even if the water looks dirty.

I fill the sink, wash, rinse under running water, and if the water gets cloudy I change it.

I just caught him washing a cereal bowl in this:

I think it's disgusting. He thinks it is fine 'as it was the last thing to be washed'. We have agreed to abide by the MN poll for future washing up.

So, YABU DH is sensible and timesaving, of course the last few things will be washed in cloudy water.

YANBU DH is filthy and clean water and rinsing are the way to go.

I have a dishwasher, but growing up I used to wash and my brother would dry the dishes. Never changed the water. I think it’s fine.

#teamDH

You can’t clean something in dirty water. I think I’m with you on this one

He is definitely wrong - that’s looks gross

For a fair vote I think we need to see the water at the point you would change it.

It's fine and leave him alone. Unless you're leaving dishes weeks before washing, there's nothing filthy about what he's doing.

I wash dishes under a running tap. Your husband isn’t cleaning dishes he’s just transferring germs from one dish to another.

Strictly if you take the idea that you need clean water to clean something you should change the water after every item.

Most people don't do that.

Your DH's method is the method my mum uses.

I do your way.

Would you consider a dishwasher? It would save water and energy consumption.

I’ve got one of these it’s changed my life. (I don’t have much of one as you might guess) So I do all my washing up and then if I get the odd thing here or there that doesn’t require a full fresh bowl of washing up, clean with the dishmatic and rinse. Job done. So cheap too 🧽

I start off with your dh’s method, cleanest things washed first but if it gets cloudy or dirty looking then it gets changed. That water needs changed.

No plug, hot water, running tap. Of course most goes in dishwasher.

The water is probably like that because of a bit of milk from the cereal bowl.
We don't need everything to be hospital-sterile. I'm with your DH.

Neither do I wash towels after every use.

I don't like your language about him

' I caught him..' - he is doing nothing wrong. Stop being so bloody controlling about how things are done or do it all yourself.

'I think it's disgusting' - so that's what you think - that's your opinion. There are still bubbles in the sink and it mostly looks like a bit of milk from the cereal bowl has made the water cloudy.

Either do it all yourself or unclench and let people do household tasks the way they want to.

Have your own separate cereal crockery if you must that only you wash up in your own way.

That water looks like it has a bit of j milk in it. I definitely change water more frequently than my parents do but I've never got ill in their house!

I think it's fine and you should leave it up to whoever it's washing up. Different strokes for different folks. Admittedly it's taken me 50 years to really understand this.

There is no one and only way in many things, especially washing up. No needs to be 'wrong'. Live and let live and you'll both be happier.

There's still detergent in there, it's fine.

Surprised at the vote swaying to yabu.
😳

I think that’s disgusting. I would have to re wash everything. But then we have a dishwasher and that solves worrying about it in our house.

I also kind of pre-wash a dirty item by having water on it, wiping it and tipping the water down the second sink. That way the water stays cleaner.

I saw a video taken from the inside of a dishwasher and the water didn't run clear until right towards the end.

As long as the dishes get rinsed in running clean water I don't see an issue with what your DH does, although I will change the water once if things are particularly dirty

We have a dishwasher too but still often wash up by hand for things like glasses, knives, pots and pans or when there's not much to do.

I know lots of people who don't have a washing up bowl and just wash things under a running tap (although most have a dishwasher). I also know a few people who never clean their washing up bowl and it's practically furry. I would personally never use the bare sink. So I think that water is grim and your way is better. However, if neither of you are frequently ill then it must be absolutely fine!

Why don’t you just bung them all in the dishwasher? 🤷‍♀️ We never wash anything by hand. Ever.

He doesn't rinse at all. If he did I wouldn't be so bothered.

Team DH.

That's gross. Running fresh hot water rinse always.