Washing up - is DH filthy or am I overreacting?

[Washingupfury]

I have name changed for this. Dh and I have a disagreement about washing up water. He feels that you fill the sink, start with cleanest stuff eg glasses work your way through to the dirty stuff and no need to change the water unless the bubbles disappear, even if the water looks dirty.

I fill the sink, wash, rinse under running water, and if the water gets cloudy I change it.

I just caught him washing a cereal bowl in this:

I think it's disgusting. He thinks it is fine 'as it was the last thing to be washed'. We have agreed to abide by the MN poll for future washing up.

So, YABU DH is sensible and timesaving, of course the last few things will be washed in cloudy water.

YANBU DH is filthy and clean water and rinsing are the way to go.

I’m not from the UK and have never heard of such a bowl. It sounds disgusting though, if people don’t actually also clean the bowl properly after.

Op I’m with you. Grim.

When did you last get food poisoning from food served on your own plates OP?

There's no germs on them FFS.

I am team Op though. You need to change the water as well as rinsing for a big load.

Which is why dishwashers are actually more efficient. Yes I know not everyone can have one.

It sounds disgusting though, if people don’t actually also clean the bowl properly after.

Well of course you bloody do, like you clean your sink.
I don't get the point of them either but why would you assume they don't get cleaned?

To be fair this is how my family washed up when I was growing up. But I thought that was the kind of thing that went by the wayside over the last 20 years or so as the UK has become more international. I lived overseas for a while and had non-British housemates before getting together with DH, so that probs influenced my thinking too. I will continue to wash in my way with my dreadful water waste (of rinsing things quickly at the end of the wash and changing the water when it gets cloudy!). And DH will continue with his ways and I will bite my tongue.

I have a dishwasher BUT on the chance I handwash I don't fill the bowl up, I use running warm water and a soapy sponge ...

FFS Leave the man a lone if it means that much to you do it yourself.
If it was a man posting this he would get bashed for it.
At least he will wash up most men wont make a cup of tea.

So, just out of interest, before you accept a cup of tea from anywhere, do you actually enquire as to how it was washed up, and refuse to use it if it hasn't been steam cleaned at 200 degrees?

🙄

Exactly. You don't.

All this hysteria over a mug. What kills germs is hot water and a bit of soap. As long as there is no visible dirt on it, it's absolutely fine if a mug has been in water with a few food particles swimming around.

Get a dishwasher, it'll save time and arguments.

I’ve already explained that I know my family and friends don’t do this!

#team DH. The word "disgusting" gets thrown around far too much imo.

This is why I rarely eat and drink in other people's homes. It's bloody disgusting trying to clean something in dirty water. He doesn't even rinse them so he's just swishing them about in their own grime.

Oh and I think leaving things to dry on a rack is nasty too, I dry immediately after washing. Who wants to drink out of a glass with water marks on it.

I also put bleach in my washing up bowl.

I am MN idea of hell.

Or you could just use your dishwasher for its intended purpose 😁

I don’t change water but then rinse at the end.

It's a generational thing in my family. Older generation (and my late grandparents) used your dh's method although in a plastic washing up bowl. They were working class and running water was considered expensive. The tea towel would then take off any soap suds and other debris. All drying was done with a tea towel which wasn't even washed daily. I think that's a bit disgusting but the grandparents lived into their 80s and 90s and didn't die of washing up mank

@Bollingerforbreakfast and they were probably a lot healthier than the germaphobes on this thread.

Running water is still expensive (and wasteful)

I'm with you OP, I think you need to rinse after that. My DH is the same as yours. The stuff that goes in the wash earlier is covered in bubbles dripping all over the draining board and tasting like washing up liquid (he uses too much). The stuff near the end is dripping in brown water. It all needs a 2 second rinse!

I also don't understand how all these people with dishwashers never wash anything by hand. I got one a year ago but still do 1-2 loads per day by hand - things like the kids silicone plates which taste of dishwasher tablet if you put them through the dishwasher as it absorbs the smell, our proper kitchen/chef's knives which aren't supposed to go into anything more than hand hot water, our pots and pans which aren't dishwasher safe (tried and ruined one - and need to wait until they die to replace the whole set), grill pans which don't fit, oven trays (some not dishwasher safe and some that are but don't fit), chopping boards with a big lip which don't fit in the dishwasher unless it's not very full and can go at an angle, recycling (plastic bottles, tubs, cans, yoghurt pots, etc), toddler cups (need to handwash to properly clean the straws etc), metal water bottles and travel coffee cups that can't go in, the air fryer tray...I could go on and on. It builds up really quickly next to the sink despite the dishwasher being filled up with all the plates, bowls, cutlery, glasses, mugs, tupperware and more.

How do people wash up in countries where water supply is limited?

Fine to wash in, as long as he rinses. Doesn't matter how clean the water is if you don't rinse, soap on dishes is just as bad. I'm only careful about washing my glass milk bottles properly with clean hot soapy water before rinsing.

I always understood that part of the point of a plastic washing-up bowl was to cushion fragile items while washing them? It’s very easy to chip a delicate glass on a stainless steel or porcelain sink; a plastic bowl is gentler.

I've been on tank water and I would soap up dishes with a little water, then rinse under a slowly running tap with the plug in, glasses through to pans, turning the water off when not rinsing. The sink water then helps to mostly rinse the last things. Sometimes boiling a kettle saves water so you get hot water straight away when it needs to be hot for some things.

I have a weird method
Wash until water needs changing and then rinse under the water that's filling the sink for the second wash
I can't stand it when dishes have soap left on them

Well someone else on this thread commented on how many fuzzy bowls she had seen, so ut seems like many don’t.

But I can see that it’s better with a plastic bowl for mugs etc who would break easily in the sink. If that is what it is for.