Washing up - is DH filthy or am I overreacting?

[Washingupfury]

I have name changed for this. Dh and I have a disagreement about washing up water. He feels that you fill the sink, start with cleanest stuff eg glasses work your way through to the dirty stuff and no need to change the water unless the bubbles disappear, even if the water looks dirty.

I fill the sink, wash, rinse under running water, and if the water gets cloudy I change it.

I just caught him washing a cereal bowl in this:

I think it's disgusting. He thinks it is fine 'as it was the last thing to be washed'. We have agreed to abide by the MN poll for future washing up.

So, YABU DH is sensible and timesaving, of course the last few things will be washed in cloudy water.

YANBU DH is filthy and clean water and rinsing are the way to go.

I'm with you on this. I can't see the point of washing dishes in dirty water.
I have a similar frank exchange of views with my DP about reusing kitchen sponges. I think they're basically only good for 48 hours, DP thinks that's wasteful. But you can get a pack of 40 for a quid in the pound shop near us: why would you take the risk?

That’s very wasteful of water and energy. We have a bowl of hot soapy water, then quick rinse, rather than keep the tap running.

Exactly this!

Everyone knows that a quick shower, especially if you turn the water off while soaping up, uses much less water than a bath but somehow the common wisdom in the UK is that essentially giving your dishes a bath is the water saving way.

Dishwasher! I’d probably change the water.

Many sponges can be microwaved and disinfected that way (or put in boiling water or the dishwasher).

I agree they harbour germs, but at the same time it definitely is wasteful, but not from a money point of view, more the plastic in landfill and energy that goes into producing them. Why not maybe disinfect them with boiling water or sterilise in the microwave every day or two of that's the only thing you'll use? They could last a few weeks each then.

But ideally I'd recommend switching to something reusable that can go in a hot wash, like a cloth or in fact I also like a slightly more sponge-like texture more than normal cloths and so I use compostable sponge cloths made from cellulose. It can go on a hot wash many times then on the compost heap at the end of its life. It's worth considering a switch!

I’m use DH’s method but I always rinse everything with clean water. Much like a dishwasher - all plates are cleaned in soapy foody warm water then all plates are rinsed after.

I worse. I'm a two bowl women. Hot soapy water in one and clean water in other wash dish and rinse in clean water. I change clean water when it gets soapy but not the original soapy water

Get a dishwasher. You are wasting a lot of water.

If washing by hand I rinse in cold water, wash in hot soapy water and the rinse in plain hot water.

This, that way the water wouldn't get that dirty. But I don't rinse them after washing them.

He's being lazy. It only takes a couple of minutes to change the water.

I'm not very fussy about cleanliness compared to a lot of people. But I agree with you that his way is gross.

Dishes should be rinsed thoroughly before going on the drainer. I'm knocking my gavel on that.

Everything (well no not everything, not sharp things or things they can't reach into properly) gets pre-washed by dog here.

Then cleanest to dirtiest. Change if it gets greasy. Everything rinsed with very hot water before going onto the drainer.

We do not hand wash much since we got the dishwasher though (god I love that thing!).

So I vote YANBU but you probably still think we're horribly unhygenic due to the canine pre-wash.

How often do you watch your friends washing their dishes?

I'm with DH- I rinsed everything in clean water after though.

I wouldn't like this at all. Most of our stuff goes in the dishwasher but there's certain expensive items I wash by hand. These get rinsed off, thoroughly washed with plenty of running water and then thoroughly rinsed afterwards.

Both methods sound grim to me…

Yes yes, your way is far superior. You win the task of doing all the washing up, forever.

Or just butt out and let him get on with it. You're not his supervisor

Your DH is right, that doesn't even look bad.

If you think that's bad you wouldn't want to see the water I wash up in!

I very rarely change the water.

His way is the way I was taught in Home economics!

I change the water when it gets cold or greasy.

I remember getting my Brownie badge for - what would it be? - Housekeeper? Hostess? - and the method for dishwashing was the same as your husband’s.

cleanest items, glasses, first, then work through to the pots and pans.

I kept to that ever since as it just makes sense.

My parents washed up DH’s way. They lived to be 97 and 99 and were never ill. I put absolutely everything in the dishwasher and if I didn’t I wouldn’t rinse because our water’s hot it would take the skin off your hands.

Of course it makes sense! Filling the sink means you can’t rinse stuff unless you have a double sink. Using a bowl of soapy water, changing it a couple of times then giving dishes a quick rinse is cleaner and more economical than a big sink of dirty broth! Plus it stops your sink being scratched.

Obviously your way is the gold standard and the most hygienic. But realistically as long as all the food is cleaned off, it's not going to hurt you. The waters hot, there's detergent in it, any germs wouldn't live long on the bowl and if they did they probably wouldn't make you ill. So personally saving time and water would matter more than any tiny risk from less than perfect washing. (The water would have looked better if he used a washing up bowl and tipped the milk dregs down the sink because it's cloudy from the milk out of the cereal bowl ill wager!)