friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

[Bigbusheyeyebrows]

My friend is single and will be child free bank holiday weekend while her (practically adult) children are at their dads. She has suggested me and her going away for the weekend

AIBU to think she's BU by asking her me to go away with her for the whole weekend, when I have a partner and younger (12, 14,15) DC at home ?

"Sorry partner & DC, amuse yourselves for the 3 days. I'm off for a jolly from the Friday. See you Monday bank holiday evening sometime"

I think it's out of order for me to just bugger off the whole 3 days and for my friend to think this is OK/expect me to go.

🤣🤣 you're weird. Just say no thanks. Personally if it was a one off I'd love that! Hope she has some nicer friends than you.

She suggested - as per your OP. She did not demand. She cannot force you. Go or don't go but don't blame your friend ffs.

You're over reacting.

She is not unreasonable to ask but also you would not be unreasonable to say no and explain you plan to do family things over the bank holiday.

I think your partner is an adult and can take care of himself and the children.

I don't think this is weird at all tbh.

Yabu, and a bit of a martyr really

Yikes, she just asked, you can say no.

Unless you’re going to drip feed that she’s there right now holding a gun to your head.

It sounds like you want to go but feel angry at wanting to do something for yourself for a change.

Your kids are 12+, not 2.

Why is it unreasonable of her to ask? It would be unreasonable of her to kidnap you.

She’s not doing anything wrong to ask - y oh might want a break from them. I went away with friends last weekend and it was brilliant. If you don’t want to go all you have to say is ‘Not for me, thanks. Planning a weekend with family’.

Unless you have anything else planned, why not?

12, 14 and 15 are hardly young...

And no, it's not weird or unreasonable to ask a parent if they want to go away with a friend when there is someone else there to look after them

Is this a reverse and your friend has called you unreasonable and you want to know?

I think it's weird you can't go away and leave your partner and three teenagers alone.

Not U at all, it’s nice she asked you and it’s also fine to decline.

I also don’t think it’s ‘out of order’ if you did want to go, it’s nice to have some adult time with friends sometimes.

This. Especially as the kids are not young.

You are allowed time away from your kids and partner , I don’t see the issue

if you don’t want to go just say no thanks . No need to make a massive deal out of it . Do you live for drama ?

lol I've gone away for weekends leaving behind (now Ex)H and kids younger than that! If you want to go, go! They'll be fine for a weekend without you!

Odd reaction, why can't you leave them to it for the weekend and have a good time with your friend?

Do you want to go? If not, just say "No thanks".

She isn't being remotely unreasonable to ask.

Seriously? Your friend made a suggestion, that's it. She hasn't tried to threaten or force you. Lots of people go away without their kids, especially when they can be looked after by their other parent.

Maybe she thought that you would have chosen a decent enough partner that they can cope with their own 3 children for a weekend. She may also have assumed that you have raised your teenagers well enough that they could cope without you for 3 days. I guess she overestimated you.

It is a massive decision OP
Think about it, sleep on it. Then think about it and sleep on it and then give her your answer

If I was in your shoes and they asked me - I'd be honoured and then politely tell them, "thank you for your kind offer but I can't..."

Honestly, it is really as simple as that

Me at end of Month: Sorry husb/ kids but I'm off to Spain for 3 nights with my friend.

Husb/ kids - Okay have a great time.

Simple!

Just say no if you don't want too!

So you think it’s unreasonable for a parent to go away for a long weekend and leave their three teenagers with their other parent?

Of course it’s ok to ask! Jeez, what an overreaction!

Even if your children were babies and toddlers, it would be perfectly reasonable of her to ask. Nice of her to ask even. Maybe she thought you'd like a bit of time away.

Are you one of those who cannot be away from the husband and children at all?

I am off for 3 nights on the bh weekend with 2 good friends - ds and dh will be fine and I am looking forward to my me Time!

It's nice of her to ask me but surely she realises that I have family at home and cannot just swan off and leave them to it for 3 days, especially on a bank holiday.

They would of course all be fine without me and I can go if I want. no worries there. It just feels a bit off for me to go and quite selfish tbh.