friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

[Bigbusheyeyebrows]

My friend is single and will be child free bank holiday weekend while her (practically adult) children are at their dads. She has suggested me and her going away for the weekend

AIBU to think she's BU by asking her me to go away with her for the whole weekend, when I have a partner and younger (12, 14,15) DC at home ?

"Sorry partner & DC, amuse yourselves for the 3 days. I'm off for a jolly from the Friday. See you Monday bank holiday evening sometime"

I think it's out of order for me to just bugger off the whole 3 days and for my friend to think this is OK/expect me to go.

Why can't you just "swan off" ? If you don't want to go say so but no reason to use kids as an excuse

Is this is a joke?

Wow you’d think I’m terrible, I have a 5 year old and am going away for 4 days later this year. Can’t bloody wait.

I assume that as a single parent, she knows your partner will be absolutely fine looking after his kids for a weekend. Just say no if you don’t fancy it. But there was nothing wrong in her asking.

This is deeply weird OP - She asked a simple Yes/No question: would you like to go away for a weekend?
You could just tell her a polite no thanks, but then examine why you feel so guilty and affronted by the suggestion of a weekend away with a friend. I’m sad that it’s caused such angst and shock. I know other mums who have cast themselves in this ‘irreplaceable’ role, and it seems to lead to burnout and unhappiness IMO. You need time to be just you!

I don't think it's unreasonable for your friend to ask you to go away, but it's also not unreasonable if you to want to go. I've never been away on a holiday/break without my husband or without my daughter when she was still living at home, and wouldn't want to, but I wouldn't find it unreasonable if a friend asked if I wanted to go away with her.

Your children are not babies. I don't see why you can't go. Surely a grown DH and 3 teenagers can manage without you?

I wouldn't want to leave DH and DS for that long but loads of my friends have always gone away and left their families for weekends. I'm definitely the weird one amongst the people I know that I don't fancy it (can I just say, DH would have no issues with me buggering off).

That post totally contradicts itself. You can absolutely 'swan off' for 3 days, bank holiday or not because they will of course be fine and you can do what you want.

If you don't want to, then say no. But lots of people would want to and enjoy it and there'd be nothing selfish about it whatsoever. You're the one being weird.

Well, this really.

Are you one of those ridiculous women who thinks they can't do anything with their friends because they have a partner? Or who never does anything without their partner tagging along?

Nothing wrong with her asking

not selfish for you to go away for a few days when you have teenagers at home

if you prefer to enjoy the weekend with your family, there is nothing wrong with that, but you are acting like the idea of going away is ludicrous and it really isn’t.

I’ve left my DH to go away on weekends with a friend, and DH has been away with his friends too, why wouldn’t you want to go?! Why can’t your partner be left at home with the kids?

I’m guessing this is some sort of reverse.. bit beyond me though!

Get a grip

Why not? I occasionally go away fo a weekend without OH or the kids. OH does the same. Doesn't strike me as a big deal.

Do you spend all your life at home?

Yikes your a bit full on. She only asked if you fancied going away. Are you usually offended for absolutely no reason?

She would be unreasonable to demand but not at all unreasonable to just ask!
Lots of people would think it's completely normal to go away without your family for such a short space of time. The fact you personally don't want to is just your view. Most people wouldn't consider it to be an outrageous suggestion!

If she'd booked to go away with a different friend and not even asked you because she'd assumed you wouldn't possibly want to leave your family for 3 days presumably you'd be annoyed about that too?

If they're going to be fine without you, why can't you go?
Go!
I say this as someone who's kids are late teens now and it does take some getting used to suddenly being able to "swan" off if you fancy it, it's a different mindset as to when they're little!
Suddenly not being needed as much.
It's not selfish to have a bit of time to yourself, make the most of it and enjoy!

I think nothing of going away with friends for a weekend occasionally and I have even younger children than you. DH is perfectly capable of looking after them without me for a few days. If you don’t want to go then just say no thank you. So yes YABU to think she’s BU.

I couldn't be arsed having a friend like you

Bloody hell you're allowed to have a life outside your family. In fact it's very healthy.

So you CAN go away, the family by your own admission will be fine. You just don't WANT to.

That's fine too, just tell your friend no. She isn't being unreasonable to invite you though!

i did and still do this regularly, trust me when your kids leave home you'll be glad you've got a friend who wants to go a mini break with you.

I think YABU for feeling she is some how in the wrong for asking. It's perfectly normal for people to do this, with or without husband and kids. YANBU for not wanting to go, it's entirely your choice. I went for a week last summer with friends and had the nicest most relaxing week! Lovely to get home to them all after a break.

How bizarre-she can ask, you can go or say no. She is not unreasonable!