friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

[Bigbusheyeyebrows]

My friend is single and will be child free bank holiday weekend while her (practically adult) children are at their dads. She has suggested me and her going away for the weekend

AIBU to think she's BU by asking her me to go away with her for the whole weekend, when I have a partner and younger (12, 14,15) DC at home ?

"Sorry partner & DC, amuse yourselves for the 3 days. I'm off for a jolly from the Friday. See you Monday bank holiday evening sometime"

I think it's out of order for me to just bugger off the whole 3 days and for my friend to think this is OK/expect me to go.

I have a group of girlfriends I go away with each year, we once went away for a long weekend over the bank holiday. The ones with kids didn’t have any problem with it, nor did their husbands. It’s not like go away over the bank holiday every year.

If you don’t want to go just say so, but stop
making yourself out to be some kind of saint because of it.

If you don't want to go, just say no!
She is being nice to ask you.
I used to go away all the time for trips with friends leaving 3 kids with partner (who was fine with it.)
YABU!

Fed up of the mum shaming shit lol

older female colleagues at work have always advised take time for yourself once a year so what ?

maybe your friend would appreciate the company as long as your not going on about your smug married complexities … personally a friend like yourself would annoy the hell out of me and if I got to know your views what you really think would quickly and kindly unfriendly you . There is enough judgement in the world and women adding guilt to this stereotype of family mindset just makes it worse .

do you think men think twice about their wives when invited to go away ? Do they rack selves with guilt saying in buggering off .. doubtful

Top tops go to mum jail like the rest of us lol

I am so confused by this OP. Why is it fine for you to have a longer holiday away with friends annually but not a few days over a bank holiday? It just makes no sense whatsoever to me.

Both are fine.

Your friend is not BU for asking.

Have a lay down.

Maybe she just thinks you may fancy a break yourself?

I don’t think she’s unreasonable asking you. All you have to say is no, that you have plans with your family.

I agree, op. I wouldn’t leave kids and family. Mainly because I’d look forward to bank holiday with them

a bloke would say yes in a heartbeat 😂

OP won’t return to this thread.

I probably think she’s embarrassed by her own post and reaction after reading everyone’s unanimous responses.

Goodluck and have a great fun relaxing bank holiday with your kids :)

You have a problem because she asked to spend some good times with you? She asked, you don’t want to - ok that’s fine if you don't want to. But there was nothing, at all, wrong with the asking. Be thankful you have a friend who is willing to holiday with you, you fool!

What an absolutely odd thing to be annoyed at your friend about. My friend often invites me to hers (she lives abroad), it’s totally impractical but I don’t get angry with her, I just say I will when the time is right 🤷‍♀️

But would you agree the friend was ‘out of order’ just to ask?

🙄!

Any view on if OP IBU?

Our group of friends go away most years for a long weekend. I missed last year since I had literally just given birth. Most of the friends have kids at home. They also have another parent that looks after them.

if you don’t want to go then don’t, but YABVU to be annoyed at your friend for wanting you to go on holiday with her.

But do you think the OPs friend was out of order for asking? Especially given the OP has a two week holiday every year without her partner and kids.

Agree prob won’t return add Bh to the list of sacred days if your that tight as a family every day important - reckon more to this story . The shame she feels is coming from somewhere .

I'm perhaps it's the shame she feels from having a two week solo holiday very year?

I must have missed that bit! I didn't realise she went away for 2 weeks on her own! Wow! Lucky her!

Sorry but are you mad????? Your kids are old enough to manage without you for a long weekend, hubby should definitely step up and have a weekend with the kids. Your friend is not unreasonable to invite you and you would most definitely not be unreasonable to go! God I wouldn't hesitate. Can I go in your place if you decide not to go?!

You have different lifestyles and that's ok but calling her selfish seems very out of order. As a single mother I find those times I don't have my children really difficult and very lonely. I keep myself occupied and like my own company.
But I am the person who doesn't ask her friends to do anything because I don't want to disturb their family time. However it would be nice to spend some of those times meeting with friends or going away and sometimes I feel if my friends cared about me they may consider this too.

Don't you ever go away or do anything without your family, though? I can't imagine that.

Woman who go away and leave the men and children are bad mothers didn’t you know ? 😂what will they eat ? What will they possibly do without the mother there . Op you have made a rod for your own back and are giving everyone else the free reign to mum shame you - you sanctioned this you set the bar and you will be the one who misses out .

single woman in particular with no responsibilities don’t deserve to have all that free time - it does make smug married feel better though . Look at me I’ve got kids and a hubby I am a martyr .

have the balls to tell your friend what you think ? Is it that you can’t or won’t ? Why is that maintaining an image or too scared how it will look if you opt out .

don’t live your life for others opinions of you be authentic be real - harsh but true sorry

Of course she is being unreasonable. The friend can ask, she can say no. I just think her thought process described in the post literally wouldn’t even enter a man’s head!

My DH would've been fully behind me going if a friend did this. Why not? Sometimes being a Mum is hard and you need respite just to have time to yourself. You clearly feel differently but your friend thought it would be a nice thing to do.

I wouldn't have gone, but she can ask of course. I do hope she u derstands your reason for not going has nothing to do with your friendship.