friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

[Bigbusheyeyebrows]

My friend is single and will be child free bank holiday weekend while her (practically adult) children are at their dads. She has suggested me and her going away for the weekend

AIBU to think she's BU by asking her me to go away with her for the whole weekend, when I have a partner and younger (12, 14,15) DC at home ?

"Sorry partner & DC, amuse yourselves for the 3 days. I'm off for a jolly from the Friday. See you Monday bank holiday evening sometime"

I think it's out of order for me to just bugger off the whole 3 days and for my friend to think this is OK/expect me to go.

I'm so confused by this! What's different about a bank holiday except that you have an extra day so more worth it to go away? Unless you have specific bank holiday plans or traditions - but even then not unreasonable for her to ask.

Your children are all of an age where they'll be absolutely fine without you and they'll have their dad there too! If you don't want to that's fine. But your reaction is very odd. My children are younger than yours and I have weekends away with friends - in fact I'm going away this weekend with my friend.

@whatsitcalledwhen I don't know ! It just doesn't sit right with me that it's a bank holiday weekend. It just feels selfish. But from what everyone is saying, it's not selfish at all.

There will be other bank holidays...

At that age, how hard is it for your partner? Your kids aren't young, they are all secondary age

Exactly, mine probably wouldn't come off the Xbox the entire time I was away 🙄😁

You genuinely don't make sense? Bank holiday is when most people would head off?

🤣🤣🤣

2 week long separate holidays ✅
A couple of days with a friend over Bank Holiday 👹

Do you think you’re better than this friend perhaps?

AIBU to think she's BU by asking her me to go away with her for the whole weekend, when I have a partner and younger (12, 14,15) DC at home ?

She is not being unreasonable. She can ask. No offence was intended at all...why have you taken it?
I doubt the sanctity of bank holidays occurred to her.

I'd be out of there OP! Maybe just one or two nights but I'd not have any concerns about leaving DH with the kids!

Wow that’s an extreme reaction OP 😄 would you rather she didn’t ask you then and you never got the chance to go if you wanted to?

Why would your husband and kids have such an issue with it? My husband has just been away for a week for fun over the Easter hols and our kids are 9, 6 and 2. He’s actually gone away again today for a week for work. I’m going away for a week for fun in the summer.

Different families have different approaches and how would she know what yours is if she never asked??

*Me and partner both have separate 2 week holidays every year with own friends, we each go long haul.

It just doesn't sit right with me to swan off on a bank holiday weekend. Any other weekend would be fine, but there is something about it being a bank holiday, imo.*

You just have a really weird thing about bank holidays and 'swanning off'. Yet apparently you swan off for a fortnight with other friends. Why does a three-day weekend away appall you so much?? Bizarro!

I’m with you on this OP, I would feel a bit mean heading off on a bank holiday weekend, I’m sure DH would survive, and remember to feed the cat, but I wouldn’t do it.

I don’t get it. Going away for a long haul trip is fine in your eyes - a much longer time and presumably a much more significant cost - but a bank holiday magically makes it selfish? Utterly confusing. I might feel bad about going away long haul without my family because for us that would mean we couldn’t afford to go away together either financially or in terms of annual leave left. But a long weekend - assuming no problems affording it - sounds lovely.

fair enough if you don’t want to go - the answer is just no thanks - but why has your friend done something wrong?

This🙄My children never batted an eyelid if me or husband buggered off for a few days and that was from a very young age !!

But there are two bank holidays in May and we've just had the Easter bank holidays so I don't see a problem with being away for one of them. No doubt you'll be spending plenty of time with your family in half term and the summer holidays too.

I went away with friends when DS was younger. I might not have done this over a BH weekend though, but going away for another weekend with friends is perfectly fine.

Op you really got a bashing. I don't get why ppl are so shocked, you're just thinking of your family and i think it's nice you have your family in your thoughts, I don't think it's a big deal your friend asked but I get your point, she's all set to go because she's free but you have obligations. Just tell her you don't think you can make it or maybe have a little think and see if a break will do you good.

If you don’t actually like her, then say that (to us, not her). But I see no issue with spending a long weekend with a good friend even if you do have a partner and kids. The kids are teenagers, it’s not as though they’ll be doing anything except sleeping.

I wouldn’t go somewhere without DH over Easter, that wouldn’t feel right.

Errr many of us have to work over bank holidays….what do you do that is so special over a BH ?

There is absolutely nothing odd about her asking you to go away with her over a bank holiday. It's also fine for you to not want to go. No need to make out it was a super weird thing to ask.

True

Then don't go, it's fine.

What I don't understand is why you've started a post on MN to essentially be mean/unkind about your friend?

It's so strange.

Your friend asked you a perfectly nice and reasonable question if you would like to go away for a bank holiday. All you have to say to your friend is
"Thank you for the invite. Unfortunately I can't go away this bank holiday, but thank you for thinking of me"

That's it. What's all the drama about?

Geez that's ridiculous, what a lovely offer, if you can't do it then just say no thanks. I have 3 younger kids than yours and I am going away the May bank holiday with friend Thurs-Sun to the South of France. My husband is happy for me to get a break and perfectly capable of looking after them! It means I can recharge my batteries and I don't feel guilty one bit!

Why ? You could go. It's not weird at all.