Thinking that women would benefit if they were more open minded about height in a potential partner…

[Moonfishstar]

… and not write off the majority of men who are under 6 foot (85%).

Women seem to be fighting for a small proportion of men - with the disappointment that will inevitably bring to the many who inevitably won’t succeed. Of course, it’s even crapper for the good,
but short, men out there.

Of course, we all fancy who we fancy, and I’m not saying we should date shorter (or even average!) men out of pity or a “sense of fairness”, but how much of women’s desire to bag a tall guy is actually societal, and down to how they think other women will view them?

And how many men care about boob size? Or slim legs? And absolutely won’t date a taller woman??

having some sort of physical preference is normal.
and height is something that matters to some women.
So what? Why is that so bad or in any way unexpected?

being of average to somewhat below average height still doesn’t seem to prevent the vast majority of men (at least those I know) from being in happy relationships. It therefore doesn’t seem like a particularly insurmountable issue to me…

There is a sligt danger in this. It suggests that a man who holds down a job, takes decent care of himself, does his share of housework or more and puts his partner first would automatially become a great catch. If he is not particularly charismatic or high rent means he has not that much money left over, they are still not going to be much of a catch "not having their sit together" in MN terms.

Neither men nor women should feel obliged to date anyone they’re not attracted to, especially not because they pity them!

My original point is that we should pause and examine why we might be rejecting certain people with certain characteristics- such as height- to ensure there’s no hang ups that don’t really have much to do with innate attraction… I used the example of tattoos for me.

Why should they stop and pause and navel gaze to unpick why they don't find a man attractive?

Describing women not finding something attractive in a man as a hang up suggests that it's something they might need to work through to be more available and open to more men. It feels a little off to me, "women you're not obligated to date men you're not a attracted to, but have you considered working on yourself first".

You still think putting up articles about fiction set in nonsensical versions of the 19th century proves anything? 🙄

I'd like someone taller than me when i wear my stupidly high heels (which is a rarity these days). As that would make me about 5ft 10, I'm 5ft6 and my highest heels are about 4inches, over 6ft would be perfect.

AIBU thinking that men would benefit if they were more open minded about weight/being a similar age in a potential partner ...

It's a standard dating trope isn't it? Women want tall men. Men want thin women who are younger than them. Anyone with strict criteria about physical characteristics undoubtedly misses out on potential partners.

But on your point there was an article in the Guardian a few weeks ago https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/mar/22/i-will-never-understand-heterosexual-dating-cultures-obsession-with-height-just-get-a-footstool

If it would benefit women to look beyond height then why didnt you?

Which is the opposite of what you claimed a couple of pages back, whining about virginity (male, presumably) and hypergamy.

Describing women not finding something attractive in a man as a hang up suggests that it's something they might need to work through to be more available and open to more men. It feels a little off to me, "women you're not obligated to date men you're not a attracted to, but have you considered working on yourself first

I agree with this. OP- did you unpick your prejudices and have a proper period of self examination before you got together with your 6'3" partner?

Which is why I followed up with two more articles that don’t mentioned Bridgerton!

I was referring previously to the impact of dating apps on the realities of dating, which is a far broader issue than hypergamy…

Because it would be ridiculous to reject a great taller man and focus on finding a shorter man just to make a point 🤷‍♀️

I have tried to unpick any prejudices that have needlessly narrowed my dating pool, as I’ve already mentioned about tattoos.

Yet you led with that nonsense. And nonsense it is, as later posters have pointed out. Why are you trotting out all this MRA misogyny and sniping about "feminist utopian fantasy"? Do you think women's liberation is a bad idea? The whole premise of your posts suggest it. It reeks of Be Kind, which does women no favours at all. Even needing economic security is something to criticise. Maybe address your attention to the wage gap instead.

As the article demonstrates, the idea that you have to be an incel to think this is a “thing” amongst many women is ridiculous.

I was just wondering some women were needlessly excluding shorter men

In what way is that not saying that women needlessly exclude shorter men?

Ok, what have I said which is MRA misogyny.

And yes, I stand by my statement that it is a feminist utopian fantasy to believe that hypergamy isn’t still a real thing, in the same way it would be a feminist utopian fantasy to think there wasn’t an issue with domestic violence against women!

Maybe you’re bisexual.

I met my husband through OLD and despite what people say on their profiles the reality is often very different. DH stated he wanted to find a woman with a university degree as he wanted someone who could challenge him intellectually. I don’t have a university degree whilst he has two but I challenge him intellectually and made him eat his words as he thought only someone with a degree would think like and have the same ideals and values as him.

I missed out a key word - apologies.

I was just wondering whether some women were needlessly excluding shorter men

Or possibly, just possibly, a woman who wanted to consider the possibility that some women may have a height criteria that is needlessly strict.

Because it would be ridiculous to reject a great taller man and focus on finding a shorter man just to make a point 🤷‍♀️

That also applies to others then. I've only dated tall men over 6 ft and they've been great guys so why would I look for someone shorter to make a point?

Well that's their lookout. They'll either find what they want, or they won't, and then they'll decide for themselves whether they're prepared to compromise on it. You don't need to go on a mission to save women who like tall men from themselves.

Your assumption was very clearly that they do. And you’ve claimed lots of evidence to prove that it’s true as well.

The thing about dating is that absolutely no one owes anyone a date (or anything following from that). People can ‘exclude’ on any basis they like - however silly that might be.

Possibly, but you're not.