Thinking that women would benefit if they were more open minded about height in a potential partner…

[Moonfishstar]

… and not write off the majority of men who are under 6 foot (85%).

Women seem to be fighting for a small proportion of men - with the disappointment that will inevitably bring to the many who inevitably won’t succeed. Of course, it’s even crapper for the good,
but short, men out there.

Of course, we all fancy who we fancy, and I’m not saying we should date shorter (or even average!) men out of pity or a “sense of fairness”, but how much of women’s desire to bag a tall guy is actually societal, and down to how they think other women will view them?

I agree with your heightest point. I ran a dating night and ended up having to include height on the application form as had so many complaints from women about being matched with short men. They were matched on personality but height seemed to be a deal breaker even if they got on. Me personally, I only used to find short men from a lower socioeconomic class attractive so bucked all the trends, but I still picked wrong’uns.

My dh is 5.8. I prefer it to being with someone who is over 6ft

I’m 5 11” I don’t think short men want to date me either. I think you can’t help who you are attracted to I like guys who rowed/ played rugby and have broad shoulders. Possibly shorter ladies could stop fighting for them so there are more for me 😍🙏

OP- what height are you and what height is your partner?

I tried to answer that in a follow up post.

What goes for women should go for men…. equally.

Neither men nor women should feel obliged to date anyone they’re not attracted to, especially not because they pity them!

My original point is that we should pause and examine why we might be rejecting certain people with certain characteristics- such as height- to ensure there’s no hang ups that don’t really have much to do with innate attraction… I used the example of tattoos for me.

If men or women still find height an issue after this, then fine, they’re justified in their dating choices.

Loving how many of the comments are a split of “this isn’t a thing, where’s the evidence?” and “this is a thing, I only date taller men” 😂

I’ve managed to have terrible relationships with men of all heights so now stick with the nuclear option of dating no one.

I’m 5 11” I don’t think short men want to date me either

Exactly my point. I'm tall and I have to say, I've had nothing but snarky comments from men significantly shorter than me. I have had random men tell me I'm "too tall" for a woman. I've tried dating men shorter than me and they all had an issue with my height.

I'm 6 feet. Ex dh was over 6 feet and a twat. Current dh is 5 feet 8 and a star.

5’10 and 6’3

So your partner is 6'3"?

Yet you are telling us we should date shorter men?- why didnt you go for a shorter man then if they're so great? This means that you are part of the problem.

I’m not “telling” anyone to date shorter men! I was just wondering some women were needlessly excluding shorter men for reasons other than innate attraction, that’s all!

😂😂😂

Dont you see the hypocrisy here?

LMAO

There’s no hypocrisy because I’m not TELLING people to do anything!

I just wanted to discuss whether women were needlessly hung up on height. I never said we were, I just wanted to discuss whether we might be.

Your partner is 6’3? ?

😂

and not write off the majority of men who are under 6 foot (85%).

"Women shouldn't write off men shorter than 6 foot"

dates man who is 6'3"

😂😂😂

Small men would tend to have the complexes they do if it wasn’t.

No. The small men who do display the traits of ‘short men syndrome’ are not just made that way because everyone is so mean to them about their height. In most cases, the angrily bitter short man would be an angrily bitter tall man - just fixated on something else to justify it.

The whinging from gen Z men that women don’t want to date them is not because women are obsessed with hypergamy. The actual complaints (and sociological data) seems to point to a phenomenon where younger women aren’t interested in a lifetime of doing all the work to look after men while (too many) young men are doubling down on the ‘traditional’ patriarchal expectations and becoming very angry that women want and expect more than the role men want to assign them to.

In that context, ‘hypergamy’ isn’t bridgerton style ‘marrying up’ in a social hierarchy. The ‘up’ in 2024 is trying to find men who are looking to be equal contributors who view women as actual people. It’s having higher standards - and that isn’t going down well with some young men, whether they see themselves as ‘incels’ or not.

It is not about what should be allowed. It is about how reality is.
We all have shallow preferences and most have deeper ones too.
To a certain extent, this will reflect what people want in a relationship. Someone who wants a relationship with someone who is as small and weak is relating to the world differently to someone who wants a tall and strong partner. Someone wanting a stupider partner is relating differently that someone who wants a smart partner.

There is no unconditional love in this world and we need the circumstances for it to be there. Often men prioritise looks, youth and kindness more and women often prioritise height, wealth and status.

Are you both male?

Is that why you seem so up set that nasty women ‘needlessly’ exclude shorter men?

@Loubelle70

Fair enough, but given that hypergamy is still so widespread, pretending that it’s not a thing is surely like living in a feminist utopian fantasy?… (a fantasy that sounds pretty good actually - it would be good if there was sufficient equality that hypergamy didn’t exist).

Fair point. Apologies, I was unnecessarily harsh in my response. I agree with what you’re saying here.

Sigh. I never said “nasty women needlessly exclude shorter men”… try reading my posts!

Why do you care?! Men generally are far more exacting, picky and obsessed with looks in women than women are in men. They fucking rate us out of 10 like animals 🙄.

I hope you have gone on a male dominated site to pick them up on this too op?

Curious now. Before your current partner, if a man who was say, 5'4" had asked you out and was attractive and seemingly compatible with you, would you have dated him?

Thank you!
I have been in the position a few times of speaking to young men who are leaning a bit to the red pill. There are a few things that can help in my limited experience, but one horrible crude example is if they were given a restaurant voucher for a free meal anywhere, but 1 in ten restaurants they could go to would poison them.
Suddenly, it is not so tempting if you are not that hungry and the best restaurants are all taken.
Suddenly you have to be either really hungry or it has to be the perfect amazing restaurant.

Come on, that’s absurd… if I was a gay man in a relationship, how could i simultaneously be bitter about how women were rejecting me for being short? 😂