Thinking that women would benefit if they were more open minded about height in a potential partner…

[Moonfishstar]

… and not write off the majority of men who are under 6 foot (85%).

Women seem to be fighting for a small proportion of men - with the disappointment that will inevitably bring to the many who inevitably won’t succeed. Of course, it’s even crapper for the good,
but short, men out there.

Of course, we all fancy who we fancy, and I’m not saying we should date shorter (or even average!) men out of pity or a “sense of fairness”, but how much of women’s desire to bag a tall guy is actually societal, and down to how they think other women will view them?

I struggle to believe you’ve never met anyone who has cared at all about height, and that every woman you’ve ever know would have tossed a coin to choose when presented with a 5ft man and a 6ft man who were identical in every other way.

The dating world isn't shit right now, it's changing. Women used to have to depend on a male partner to survive but that's not the case anymore. So a lot of women are either choosing to not date or enter relationships at all. Also with homosexuality not being as stigmatized anymore some women are comfortable with being with female partners. A lot of these men who turn incel or MGTOW haven't realized that the power balance is shifting and think that they shouldn't have to put in even the bare minimum to attract a partner. Women then become the the targets of there rage and inadequacy.

Most men wouldn't date a woman taller than them, so it goes both ways 🤷‍♀️

I used to joke I only date tall men only because my then boyfriend was tallish. Surely no one actually is serious about this? I prefer intelligence.

I'm male and 5'9. In the past I didn't want to date a woman taller than me. Ideally 5'5 or 5'6 if they wear heels! Saying that, if I fell for someone who happened to be 5'10, then who knows, it wouldn't have been a 100% no. As it turns out, the woman I went on to marry is 5'2! Long term gf when I was 18 was 5'6.

out of pity or a “sense of fairness”

Very incely.

You know we are just humans too. This isn’t some kind of conspiracy. Everyone’s just getting on with their lives as best they can. Remembering to pick up some milk on the way home. Put that wash on. Take the bins out. Muster energy to feed oneself. Finally sit down and turn on the tv (or MN).

It takes effort to find someone who’s also in a place where they have energy to be with someone. It’s quite miraculous it happens at all. And half of those that do break up anyway. So don’t be so tough on yourself, or us 🙏

@Moonfishstar so short men are better behaved or more 'gentlemanly' than tall men? Is that your experience?

Personally I only date men taller than me - my hubby was less than 2 " taller than me, so he was c5'10". I never really went for very tall men...

His true colours only came out once he thought he had sealed the deal with a very large sparkly ring.

By your response you’ve probably never had the misfortune of being with such a cretin, but if you would like to learn more about their ilk, have a read of Lundy Bancroft’s book on them.

Would not wish their type on my worst enemy.

YABU because most women aren't that bothered.

I’ve also never heard any of my friends discuss or care about a man’s height 🤷‍♀️ why are you so insistent that all women care about height?

This isn’t evidence OP - it’s random articles and data from dating sites saying women prefer tall men, which I think they broadly do, but I know few if any women who will only date a man of six foot or over. I can think of a few who say they wouldn’t date a bloke shorter than them, but I also know a good few who do.

There is an expectation that a woman will be taller than her partner.

I'm 5ft 9. When one of my aunts met my then fiancé for the first time, she took me aside to tell me that I couldn't wear high heels to the wedding.

I wore 3 inch heels. Damned near broke my neck.

Unfortunately, the photographer that the company sent out to take the pics was even shorter. Really should have gone with the independent bloke who was 6ft if I wanted flattering photographs.

Women do generally prefer taller men and those claiming it makes no difference sound a bit disingenuous.

However, the kind of cutoff points being suggested by the OP are OTT. Most women seem to be OK with "at least slightly taller than me."

Agree that extreme height "requirements" seem to be about a) dating apps b) Americans. I think a lot of women lack a clear visual image of what men at different heights actually look like, so pick silly numbers on dating apps - or they may be banking on the fact that "men lie about their height, so if I say 'at least 5 foot 11," I'll make sure I end up with guys who are actually at least 5'9."

Americans generally (men and women) seem to be more "into" height than people in most other countries - it is striking that pretty much all recent US presidents have been tall, whereas in other comparable countries it matters much less. Ironically, Americans themselves are not, on average, very tall these days in relative terms - their average height has stagnated or even shrunk a little in the past generation, while that of Europeans has continued to grow.

Those magazines are mad though.
I can remember reading an article as a teenager that suggested mouthwash would make a BJ better because it would be tingly. Literally never met a man who agreed with that. And we knew it was nonsense at the time. I don't know if the authors had bets on who could put the most ridiculous things int. But there are loads of filler-type nonsense articles like "Is the new fashion for pop socks a sign that feminism is on the rise", "Why us girls really like men with attached earlobes a PSYCHOLIGST explains", 12% of men fantasise about balaclavas - does yours???"
Years after articles were published they acquired a second life online as amazing insights into the feminine mind.

Exactly what I thought. "Oh, look, another MRA whingeing!"

For what it's worth, OP, plenty of the married blokes I know are less than 6', and I would never have wanted a man much taller than me. I don't like being loomed over.

Personally, I have always liked short men and found them very attractive. I'm 5'7, in heels 5'9 and I went out with a man who was 5'4 quite happily. My husband is only about my height and most of my exes too. I suspect it has something to do ultimately with my own sense of "status" - needing to feel like an equal. I have friends who have a thing for tall men, but that's never been me. I find they loom, disconcertingly.

Oh gods yes. Incel type I knew online used to go on about his "morning height" vs his "evening height" and claim that women wouldn't give him a chance because he got shorter during the day, oh and because of his lazy eye. His utterly obnoxious personality and rank misogyny had nothing to do with it.

Were they asked tall or short and picked tall or were there more options like average or don't care? Just because a woman might answer a silly questionnaire with I want a man who is tall and a millionaire doesn't mean they won't date, love and marry a man who isn't tall or a millionaire.

Cosmo is complete horse shit. The way it views women is almost as bad as it treats men. I swear they think we're all hypersexual office workers who cheat on there partners, can throw away 500 on a pair of shoes and have a fabulous social life. It's refuses to change with the times and has become a complete joke

American here. No we don't. You are generalizing is just like the OP is doing. I swear the American stereotypes that pop up here are ridiculous.

Reminds me of a French bloke I knew who was 5'7" - we were talking about average heights and he commented that in France, he was average or a little taller than average and could see well in a crowd, but when he came to Australia, suddenly he was short and navigating crowds was harder! I was quite surprised by that.

My attraction to very tall men (with very nice hands) is visceral. But it only kicks in at 6' 3" not a mere 6'. Yes, I've fancied shorter, as well, but...

Also, let's not forget the other way around. My [appalling] father always said he couldn't fancy tall women.

Men would benefit if they were open minded to dating older women. Yeah, not going to happen is it. 🙄

Height wouldn't be a factor for me. It's about personality. I once dated a guy who was way taller than me (I'm not short). I came to his armpit. I didn't like it much. He was too far away and you can't really walk with your arms around each other well. That said, if he was the right one for me, it wouldn't have been a deal breaker.

I think a good proportion of women probably prefer a considerable height difference just because they don't want to feel 'large' - they prefer to be the more delicate of a pair, which is natural IMO.

Although height isn't really the thing that does it for me. I'm 5'7 and will happily date someone 5'10. Skinny men, however- absolutely not. I'm far more likely to be attracted to a well built man at 5'10 than a 6'4 beanpole. I think it essentially comes down to the same thing though? Wanting the man to be larger.

I do think this has gotten out of hand due to social media though, and pedaling of a 'perfect' height. I have a friend who is 5'1 and demands her partners are over 6ft - she can't articulate why. I can only assume that it's because someone one day decided that 6ft was the ultimate height, so she's stuck with it! Men between 5ft and 5'9 must have a difficult time of it on dating apps - in truth most women I know filter their options so that everyone is at least 5'10. I'm 27, for reference