Thinking that women would benefit if they were more open minded about height in a potential partner…

[Moonfishstar]

… and not write off the majority of men who are under 6 foot (85%).

Women seem to be fighting for a small proportion of men - with the disappointment that will inevitably bring to the many who inevitably won’t succeed. Of course, it’s even crapper for the good,
but short, men out there.

Of course, we all fancy who we fancy, and I’m not saying we should date shorter (or even average!) men out of pity or a “sense of fairness”, but how much of women’s desire to bag a tall guy is actually societal, and down to how they think other women will view them?

Most of the tall men I know have back problems in their 40s and 50s. It’s not all a bed of roses!

This is totally written by a young incel. No woman uses the term hypergamy. A vast majority of men are in or have been in relationships. The writer is just hyper focused on height because it's something he can't control when the reality is his personality is shit. No one wants a self loathing complainer who brings nothing to the table.

Thank you! It does sound like something an incel would whine over.

OP, you’re not mad, it’s totally a thing.

https://amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/mar/22/i-will-never-understand-heterosexual-dating-cultures-obsession-with-height-just-get-a-footstool

But in reality people forget about the daft criteria they set in their heads and just meet someone and fall in love.🤷‍♀️

To me height isn’t an issue… DP is only 4 inches taller than me, but I never even really think about his height as an issue. For me, it’s about personal hygiene and personality. Looks is subjective because people have a type, I don’t necessarily look at people as ugly, I just feel they ain’t my type.

I dated a guy who was shorter than me and it felt weird and uncomfortable. I'm happy as long as they're taller than me, doesn't mean they have to be over 6ft though.

Totally agree, @Moonfishstar and I am a tall woman at 5’8. This obsession with tall men is really pretty horrible

What!? Only young incels could ever possibly use the word hypergamy? How bizarre! It’s a well known phenomenon in non-incel circles? Cosmo hardly caters to Incels does it!
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a45592448/hypergamy-definition/

And as for being obsessed with height, I’ve admitted that the data on this is probably distorted by the dynamics of OLD.

And I’m definitely not celibate - my partner can attest to that!… let alone a young male incel 😂

It’s a thing amongst my dd. Friendship groups 20-25 age they seem to have a criteria.
I am 5ft and my husband is 6ft 5
i was berated lightheartedly by a friend who is very tall who said us shorties are taking all the tall men😂

Despite me being (or maybe because of it?) 5ft-fk-all and have never been attracted to short men (under 5' 10" I guess is my take on short), no matter what the rest of their physical attributes. I have 2 boys with xh who was def at the short end of my preference and thank god it looks like they are both going to be taller than him. DP is 6' and I love it! no apologies for my shallowness here!

Wouldn't care! I met him and fell in love with his personality. 😊

So what? That’s not a good reason to assume a poster is secretly an incel. Back in the day, my art teacher (all-girls school) commented that she couldn’t understand why we all liked “pretty boys” like Leonardo DiCaprio (it was the late nineties) and not muscular, manly men. My mother can’t understand any of my aunt’s celebrity crushes. I can’t understand why anyone finds Channing Tatum remotely attractive.

I’m not going to assume a poster is a man posing as a woman unless they say something like, “Does anyone else hate having to take out a tampon so it won’t get soaked when you urinate?” 😂

Thanks. Yes, of course it’s a thing… not universal clearly, but a thing nonetheless. It always has been to an extent. Small
men would tend to have the complexes they do if it wasn’t. The comments on here show how common it is, albeit the surveys exaggerate it.

i don’t get why some women are so determined to believe it’s not, and that even suggesting that it is somehow means you have to be an incel, which is preposterous!

I'm 4ft10.
You can keep your 6ft4 blokes. Don't need to be cracking my neck or having to stand on a step every time I want a kiss. Or to feel like I look like a child holding their hand.

5ft6 ish is ideal for me, and still a good bit taller than me!

So yabu on the grounds not everyone wants a tall man!

Cosmo is a shit publication that lost its relevancy decades ago, so hardly a viable, fact checked source of information. I will never deny that there are obstacles in the way for short men dating. There are also obstacles for unattractive and socially awkward of both sexes in dating. Hell, I'm conveniently pretty and I'm shit at dating. We don't all come to the table with the same hand to play. That's life.
The mentality that men are the wronged party in the dating world and it's all women's fault for not have sex with them has lead to a lot of death at these people's hands. Just last week five died in Australia. These guys are only the victims of their own shitty life choices.

Never met anyone who has cared about height

No interest in tall men here. All my exes have ranged from 5'4 to about 5'11.

Was engaged to a short man once. He had very angry short man syndrome, constantly looking for adoration from other women. Fits of rage if his needs were not accommodated (his preferred brand of soda, moisturiser and toothpaste for example.)

Lost his marbles when I called off the wedding.

H2B is one foot taller. Occasional princess moments, but no little emperor outbursts.

This is bollox and a lazy stereotype. Tall men can be wankers too.

That said, my niece is 5’10” and sturdy (not fat, but broad) and most men look ridiculous next to her by conventional standards. She struggled for a long time to find someone while her petite friends were dating like mad. She’s thrilled to have met a great guy. He’s 2 inches shorter than her and he doesn’t care about her height.

So, it’s a shame we’re so driven by what society has told us we should be looking for that we no doubt miss some real gems.

I’m 6ft2 anyone shorter than me makes me feel like an ogre.

i would say that most women I know have a preference for people their height or taller. This doesn’t mean that they all go for tall men.

If he was such a prick why did you get engaged to him?

The only point to me referencing Cosmo was to say it’s a phenomenon that woman recognise too. When I googled it to make sure I wasn’t going mad, there were as many links apparently from a women’s perspective as a man’s, with one from Women’s Health underneath Cosmo.

Dating is shit at present for both sexes, men and women. Although I’m happily in a relationship now, for much of last year I was on the dating scene so know first hand. In the same way that incels will blame women for this (with this leading to tragic consequences sometimes), it’s wrong to say it’s all men’s fault too. The whole way in which society has evolved has created one hot dating mess. I’m not sure what the solution is, but it’s not to assume that it’s all the other sex’s fault, whichever sex you are.

I’ve often said that short women should go for short men and leave the tall men for tall girls like me! We have less choice! YANBU OP!

Nah. My boyfriends have all been at least 6ft 1".

I'm just not attracted to shorter men. You do you but I like what I like. I'd rather be alone than with someone who doesn't float my boat.

I'm not the person your quoting but there could be a lot of reasons. Perhaps OP was young and the fiance was older. These types of guys like to say they like younger women because they cause less drama but the truth is they're easier to manipulate, and women there own age see through it. Good chance gaslighting and love bombing involved. Most of use have at least one previous partner that you look back on and wonder what the hell you were thinking. It shows you've grown.