Thinking that women would benefit if they were more open minded about height in a potential partner…

[Moonfishstar]

… and not write off the majority of men who are under 6 foot (85%).

Women seem to be fighting for a small proportion of men - with the disappointment that will inevitably bring to the many who inevitably won’t succeed. Of course, it’s even crapper for the good,
but short, men out there.

Of course, we all fancy who we fancy, and I’m not saying we should date shorter (or even average!) men out of pity or a “sense of fairness”, but how much of women’s desire to bag a tall guy is actually societal, and down to how they think other women will view them?

I’m 5’4” and have dated men between 5’6” and 6’5”

How rude.

I'm 5'3. DH is 6ft but he's who I fell in love with. Had no issues dating previous bfs between 5'7 and 5'11. Would go down to 5'3 or 4 if they were the one. I have male friends around my own height and I've never felt butch next to them and neither of them ever minded me wearing heels out with them. That said, I wouldn't want to date someone noticeably shorter than me. I don't find it attractive. And I use DHs height to make up for my short arsed-ness. He's useful for high shelves etc.

I think this is fair OP.

I am a short arse and in the past in real life I have fancied 'shorter' men (maybe 5`6). But when I did OLD a couple of years ago I filtered out anyone shorter than 5'9. I met a lovely bloke but who might I have met if I'd been more open. I guess I just went with, well that's what I ideally want.

It's a marketplace unfortunately and there's a lot of wasting time as it is.

If there was less time wasting (ie are we going on a date or what) then maybe people would broaden horizons, both male and female.

Women aren’t fighting for men. On the contrary, more and more women are refraining from marriage and children. I’ve been a woman for over 40 years and I don’t believe I’ve met any other women who are fighting for a tall bloke.. we just like decent, honest blokes of which there is a genuine shortage. If you are a small man and not getting any interest it’s probably a ‘you’ problem.

This research is interesting. Every study I've read in the past showed women find taller men more attractive, and men find taller women less attractive and are more attracted to shorter women.

Interesting this seems to suggest taller women are also considered more attractive.

As a very short 5ft 1" women I've only ever dated men over 6ft. It's just my preference tbh and all the men I've dated have preferred short women. My DH's exes were under 5ft, which is tiny

As a lesbo who prefers tall women I can understand that for some women taller than them equals feeling safer/more feminine/less butch, etc. I never would have turned down a potential partner because of their height, though. Luckily my wife is 5'11 next to my 5'4 :)

Although I'm just under 5ft I still wouldn't date anyone under 5ft 5in because people might think we were following the yellow brick road.

Exactly.

You see men all the time saying they won’t date less than an 8/10, or won’t date anyone who isn’t blonde, or he needs big boobs or a big backside or whatever - one guy in the pub said to his friend ‘if they aren’t massive I prefer fake big tits to be honest and they don’t have long hair I’ve not interested’

I had a guy want to date me but he only dates women 20 younger or upwards older and I found that weird like he had a mother complex or something and he said that was he only criteria and as long as they were over 20 years older he wanted a date 😱

The only women I have ever met in my entire life who only date men above 6ft, are above 6ft themselves.. so its kinda understandable. But one of them is now actually married to a guy who is 5ft 9 so... even tho she initially said that she still fell for a shorter guy!
I just do not think it's true that women give that much of a shit about height.. I swear it's just something that is an issue between men themselves... like dick size or hair loss... shit women don't actually care too much about... but men harp on about. Coz they don't want to admit its their shitty personalities and behaviour that put women off rather than some physical attributes they can't change.
I myself have never once considered height in thinking about who I might want to date.

I get it op. And I see it. Even on this thread.

I'm 5ft 7..
My first husband was 5ft 7..
This was the 70s and l wore platforms.
I've since dated a man at 5ft 6 for two years and a guy at 6ft 4 for 5 years .
Height doesn't matter.

Lol, 3 of the 4 posters above you are 'that woman'. So I guess its more of a thing than maybe we all realise.

I think women have a deep deep seated predjudice against men smaller than them in the context of partners. Probably due to the opression of women who were expected to be smaller, daintier, more delicate than a man. So very few women now are comfortable being bigger than their man.

Socially ingrained predjudice. And I fully expect people to swear they are not predjudiced (its just my own preference and I have a right to it yada yada) because people rarely recognise that they are.

I’m quite a tall woman (5”8”) but haven’t dated anyone over 6 feet tall - so long as they’re taller than me I’m not bothered - they’ve all been 5”10-6ft.

I think it’s weird (gives me the ick) when really tall men want short partners. So they’re child-like? Because they can’t deal with a female on their level?

Physically, I actually prefer short stature men, think Kelly Jones lead singer of the Stereophonics as my ideal. When I met my DP, I was physically attracted to him (he is short, athletic) but it was his personality that I fell in love with and the electric chemistry between us.

It doesn’t really matter what their reasons are, preference or prejudice, no one needs to justify who they find attractive or who they’re willing to date.

I've only ever liked/gone out with short men! I feel intimidated by tall men. I am tall myself (5'10.5") but get nervous around taller men. My DP is 5'6'. My ExH was 5'8'.

To for it to be prejudice rather than preference, women would need to be making negative judgements about things they could not know based on the characteristic they did know. Eg, all short men are poor/boring/nasty etc. By not considering short men attractive they are judging based on a characteristic they do know and consider a negative, his height. Just because you may disagree that being short is an aesthetically negative characteristic, it doesn't mean those who observe it to be are showing prejudice.

I voted YABU because of the 6ft thing - the vast majority of men are under 6ft and most have/ or had partners ( isn’t 5”9 for men about average in this country?).

I do understand your underlying point though - I suppose it’s unfair that many women tend to look for men taller than them (I guess most want taller than about 5”5 since that’s the average woman’s height) . But then men also supposedly often look for women thinner than them - which is equally superficial 🤷‍♀️. I guess you can’t help what physically attracts you.

I think women have a deep deep seated predjudice against men smaller than them in the context of partners.

In the context of partners, you can be as "prejudiced" as you like. You may or may not find what you want but you don't have to date anyone if you don't want to and you don't need to justify it.

That's true, I didn't think of it that way. I think it's because I've always been conscious of him being short since he was a baby. If someone on mumsnet said they didn't find blonde hair, blue eyes or obsessed with star wars attractive then I wouldn't be bothered by that. And I'd agree on the obsessed with star wars bit tbh!

My dh is 5’4 and never been without a partner. This thread is daft.

I agree OP. I'm 5 foot 7 and DH is the same height. He's conscious of it, but it doesn't matter a jot to me. People can be too superficial about this kind of thing.