Dp walked off from me - am I in the wrong?

[Haliloa]

So dp wanted us to go for a Sunday dinner this afternoon. We were in the shopping centre walking to find a restaurant to eat at when he stopped and told me to take a photo of him and our dear children that he could post to his social media.

I took the photos and as we walked off he then says ‘did you want one?’ Asking if I wanted a photo with our children. Wherever we go he always wants photos with the dc and will post them to his social media but will never include me, it’s like I don’t exist. So when he asked if I wanted one as we walked off it slightly triggered me as I feel a normal family would’ve just taken a family selfie with everyone included, just like I would’ve included him if I was taking a photo with the kids on a day out. It’s like he only remembered to ask me as we started walking off.

I simply replied no. I actually didn’t want one it wasn’t a big issue. But then he asked me again and I snapped and said ‘no I don’t and if you have to ask then it’s a real cuntish thing to do to leave me out’. I know I shouldn’t have snapped but this is the same scenario all the time, I’m always left out he just wants to show off him and the children like I am not there all the time.

anyway this bothered him because he completely walked off from me. I then caught up with him and he said he’s going home. I told him to grow up (may be hypocritical) and be mature as our children need to eat. So he said he wants to take them to eat without me and told me to go home. I told him ‘if that’s what you want’ and he said yeah that’s what he wants and he walked off and has gone to eat without me.

am I in the wrong? I know I shouldn’t have snapped, that’s what’s bothered him the fact I said ‘cuntish’ and we were in public (although no one noticed). But equally I’m tired of always being left out.

am I being unreasonable?

I think you overreacted. You've told him before that it bothers you being left out. When he's remembered to ask you, you've said no. Then you've c bombed him.

All very over dramatic about nothing. Next time just politely ask him to take one for you when you want one.

I’m so confused about what the problem is. He actively wants photos with his children so he asks for them, you don’t actively ask for photos so didn’t get one, but you secretly want one and are irritated that he doesn’t mind read?

You’ve also called him a cunt, before going for lunch, infront of your kids. I’d have uninvited you from the meal as well.

Not great from either of you to be honest. You were snappy and it came out of nowhere. I'd be pissed off if someone talked to me like that. He shouldn't have gone off to dinner with the kids without you. You both need to apologise.

You’re surely joking, it’s the kids mother who’s flipped over a photo and called their dad a cunt 😂 I know who I’d rather my kids be eating a meal with

This all sounds ridiculous, when he originally said could you take a photo why didn’t you say let’s take a selfie of all of us? I’d walk away and not want to eat dinner with someone who called me ‘cuntish’ too, it’s horrible language and especially so in front of children.

Have you pointed this out to him before calmly or did you just stew on this until you got to the point of snapping and essentially calling him a cunt infront of your children?

If someone effectively called me that in front of my children I'd absolutely be walking away from them too.

Could he have been more inclusive with the photos- yes of course. But could you have handled this in a much better way - absolutely.

It sounds like there are much deeper issues between you both than just photos for social media.

Wow, well you've obviously built up some rage there, but from his pov he was doing some nice family stuff and taking pix and then you were rude AF out of nowhere. I wouldn't want to go to lunch with you either.

Using the term triggered discussing a photo /non photo of you /dc is quite frankly fucking ridiculous...

Goodness op that was well over the top and not ok. You simply had to say let’s take a family pic. I’d have walked away from you too.

Tbh I'm shocked he was so calm, if you'd snapped at me and called me cuntish I'd properly have reacted much worse than he did 😂

Ask for photos if you want them, like he does. Don't snap and swear at someone like that either, especially not your partner! Horrendously rude.

I don't understand why people have to take pictures and post them of everything they do, also children have the right of privacy.

Just tell him again you want to be included in the next pictures.

No, she wanted to be considered to be part of the family and included in the photo.

He was unreasonable but so was your language

I couldn’t sit at a table and play happy families with someone who’d just called me a cunt. The only way to save lunch was for one of you not to be there.

Yeah he should. If my husband called me a cunt, I’d not be having dinner with him. Raise your standards.

I'd wonder who was on his social media that he was trying to impress, tbh.

I'm not surprised he didn't want to have lunch with you after that display.

If you want to be included in photos, why don't you just say so?

Then say ‘let’s take a selfie’ no need for the swearing…

So she could’ve said that up front? This is a crazy overreaction.