One night stands/casual sex

[champagnedrunk]

Both my husband and myself have only ever been with each other sexually. I have dated in the past and so has he but very short "relationships" I mean a date or two here and there, none of which lead to sex or anything close.

We met in our early 20's and have been together 15 years we have two young children.

Is it common for two people in their 30's to have never have had a sexual relationship with anyone else, we do not come from religious backgrounds or anything like that.

I see people out having casual sex and one night stands and just wonder why? What is the point? Surely you'd get as much sexual pleasure at home with a sex toy as you would from another person? We have an amazing sex life and relationship and and don't feel like we missed out on anything by not having other sexual relationships.

Well of course you don’t like the idea of having sex with someone else, you’re in a loving committed relationship, the majority of people in the same situation feel exactly the same (myself included) , no matter how many people they slept with before.

I slept with a decent number of men before I met my husband, some one night stands, some short relationships some longer relationships. I learnt a lot from all of them about myself, what I like, what i don’t like, built my confidence sexually and frankly had a lot of fun, don’t regret any of it. Fine if you married the first person you shagged, but that doesn’t make you a better person than anyone else.

But how do you know OP that you have this amazing sex life with the wholesome husband (who only shows you affection when he wants to put his genitalia in you' when you've got absolutely no experience of what it's like with others?

I have had other peoples genatalia in me and I can tell you that my husband has the best of the lot, one of the reasons I married him, but I also enjoyed the vast majority of the other ones attached to other men, especially the ones where I realllllly fancied them and we went on to have a fabulous time!

Don't knock what you haven't had, it's not special love it's just how your life panned out! I hope you get that affection thing sorted!

My husband and I have only been with each other, and frankly, we both wish that we'd been able to play the field a bit more instead of stupidly falling in love so young!

I'm fact, we got together as a one night stand initially. It just escalated a bit.

DH and I are in our 50s, married 30 years and we've only been with each other. It's great.

I suppose not everyone wants the life you lead. Horses for corses and all that. You’ve found someone your happy with and that’s fantastic.

some people don’t want long term they are happy single but still have sexual needs they want meeting.

Each to their own.
I would hate to have had only one sexual partner.

Oops that’s embarrassing 😂

Why are you so bothered ??

🙄

If you hadn't met your husband (or another partner that you'd marry) you would have stayed a virgin?

Some people have multiple partners. Some people don't. I'm not gonna check statistics but I'm gonna assume that people that meet their spouses younger on average has less partners than those who are single longer. People view sex differently. I've had a few partners but not that many. Some good, soem bad, some relationships, some just for fun.

You're not happy are you, OP? Misery loves company and all that.

That's not adding up. In this thread the op says she's been with husband 15 years and has kids. In the quotes it states husband of 3 years. Unless of course they lived together a long while first

You haven’t missed out. I’ve had a number of sexual partners and my relationship with my children’s father didn’t last more than ten years. I have friends who have been married for many many years, first sexual partners for both them and their spouses and really happy. I envy them. If I could go back and choose I’d rather have had just one partner, happy in a long marriage than numerous partners.

Yeah, that’s what it sounds like to me. Together for 15 years and married for 3 x

I hope you don’t have children who will be exposed to your judgment and criticism of their life choices if they differ from yours.

This really tickled me.

I love the idea of a one night stand escalating a bit… I have images of you both looking around 20 years later saying “hang on a minute” in a bemused way… like when you wake up with a cracking hangover when you were only staying for one drink!

Wouldn’t you mention that though (referring to the other thread). Saying you’ve been married for three years gives the impression the relationship is still in its first flushes.

I’ve had some perfectly nice people pop their genitalia in mine, in a perfectly pleasant way. And I’ve met some delightful people who I’ve allowed to pop their genitals into mine, and it’s been somewhat of a disappointment. And there has been the odd person, who started out very charming and was incredibly talented at genital dancing, but couldn’t get their act together enough to wash their own bloody pants or pay a parking ticket on time… at that point, I lost all interest in their genitals.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, I find the person I chose to marry ‘quite special’ (bleurgh) because I’m able to compare him to (some) others and I have a vague idea about what I may, or may not be, missing out on.

But, different strokes and all that, it’s lovely that you feel smug and special.

😆 you sound like a treat

You sound delightful OP.

So you aren’t curious about why, you just want to slut shame other people, and feel superior.

This is all very unattractive and full of nonsense anyway, but in an era when Andrew Tate is encouraging young men to judge young women by their ‘body count’, it’s vile.

But in answer to your original question, casual sex done the right way by the right person is joyful, it’s a great way to understand yourself and other people and to have some very intense physical and psychological experiences. I’ve glad I did that for a few years, I care not a jot whether other people have or not.

🙄 Maybe work on trying not to be such a judgemental puritan.

Before I met my husband I’d had two casual encounters and one serious relationship. The casual encounters were a bit crap. Sex with my husband is not. I don’t judge others for wanting casual sex, everyone’s different. In return I expect not to be judged for not wanting it.

I hate to say it but I wouldn’t count your chickens just yet. No one knows what’s around the corner or what’s going to happen in the future.

People have affairs all the time for various reasons. There is a reason the vast majority of people don’t stay with their first love.

In all honesty when I hear of younger couples getting married to their childhood sweetheart I think hmmm I bet that won’t last because statistically they don’t last because people change and then fall out of love and want to experience things with other people. Like a disaster waiting to happen in the future. Temptation is too much.

What a strange post.

You met the person you thought was ' your person' early on in life and I hope you both always feel that way. My friend and her husband were virgins when they met at teacher training college. They married a year after we graduated and had 2 children. Then he had a crisis that she was the only person he had ever had sex with and he left. They have been divorced for years now . Lots of us have shortish unions with other people because that person turns out to not be who you thought they were, jobs/ geography get in the way and something that might have been ' the one' fizzles out. I've never had an actual one night stand but there were very very short relationships that really should have been one night and goodbye.You sound a tiny bit smug tbh. Life isn't always linear and tidy. Some people need to kiss a lot of frogs before they find true Prince. Some people (me) need to divorce the first Prince before they find their 'one for life'.