One night stands/casual sex

[champagnedrunk]

Both my husband and myself have only ever been with each other sexually. I have dated in the past and so has he but very short "relationships" I mean a date or two here and there, none of which lead to sex or anything close.

We met in our early 20's and have been together 15 years we have two young children.

Is it common for two people in their 30's to have never have had a sexual relationship with anyone else, we do not come from religious backgrounds or anything like that.

I see people out having casual sex and one night stands and just wonder why? What is the point? Surely you'd get as much sexual pleasure at home with a sex toy as you would from another person? We have an amazing sex life and relationship and and don't feel like we missed out on anything by not having other sexual relationships.

Also, weird to talk about putting your genitalia into another person if you’re a woman. Sex isn’t just putting your genitalia into someone else (and never is if you’re a woman). I’m a lesbian and that’s not what sex ever looks like for me. Still enjoyable.

😂😂😂😂 ‘quite special’ indeed. Bet your fun at parties - there’s no risk of sounding ‘smug’ you just sound rude, naive and judgemental, and not very experienced. Try not to tell other people this out loud tho - most people don’t like being told their not as virtuous as you are 😂🤣

I had a ons 19 years ago.
Still haven't got rid of him! Been married the majority of that...

I would day it was instant attraction... but it was alcohol. The attraction came afterwards.

St a basic level... we are primed to have sex, to procreate to just do. Sex is fun and enjoyable.

You got lucky early on, found someone you were attracted to physically and I presume is a decent person.

I’ve also only ever had one sexual partner OP… but I agree with most PP that your posts seem unpleasantly smug and judgey.

The number of genitals you’ve allowed to be “put in” you doesn’t determine your worth as a person. Surely by that logic, all virgins would be superior to you?

Same. I do wonder though who I would have ended up with if I didn’t test the sexual waters (I’ve just made that up btw). I learned so much about what I enjoyed and what I didn’t from those years. Tbh, I only had positive experiences so had a bloody good time doing it too.

In fairness OP, I’m sure if I married the first person I slept with, I would enjoy the sex too, because I would not know anything different.

Have you really never felt curious? No celebrity crushes that you’ve had a cheeky fantasy about? 😉

Awks for your DH’s personality if you think having sex with someone is the same as a using a sex toy.

Either his pillow talk is pretty limited, or I need to delve further into the market 🤔🤔

More like very judgemental and condescending. You do you OP and judge away about where us poor unfortunates dip our genitalia 😂.

I’m going to integrate that into my dirty talk going forward.. “dip your genitalia into me!”.

🤣

😂😂😂

when you look at how casual putting your genitalia into another person has become

😂😂😂😂

Right! Couldn’t even wait until the second page😆

I loved a bit of casual genitalia back in the day.

So sorry that your sex life is that boring you compare it to being alone with a toy 💐

Don't worry, the relationships board is your friend when the inevitable happens. I would probably name change first.

You posted the below only 6 days ago OP.

My husband of 3 years never comes up and hugs me out of the blue, he never kisses me or touches me unless he wants sex. Why do you think this could be? Tia

I couldn’t imagine a relationship where my partner only shows affection when they want sex. I can’t say that sounds very special to me. Maybe you should come down from your high horse and stop judging others for their choices? I rather have casual sex with men that I like as opposed to being with someone who won’t bother giving me a hug just for the sake of it!

Oh god really?!
Feel sorry for OP now.

Oh shit… 👀🍿

Uh oh.

I guess ops trying to make her light shine brighter by trying to put out others flames.

I've had many, many, many casual flings op, want some tips to spice things up?

While you feel you are smug I’m afraid I pity you. It saddens me to imagine only ever feeling that intimacy and connection with only one person your whole entire life. There’s a been a few deeply exciting and special connections with people I cared about & found extremely attractive in my life and I have amazing memories. Just the wild passion & possibilities of getting to know & discovering someone new you have an incredible mutual attraction with… the fact you believe there’s no difference to using a sex toy by yourself to having an exciting sex life really does show how blinkered & totally inexperienced in your love life you are! You’ve missed out big time I wouldn’t be so smug!

100% this, and I have Tracey’s dog…

My first h had only slept with me, I'd been with a few blokes. He said it didn't bother him, I secretly knew it did

We got together young and married young, split up late 20s as it had just ran its course.
ExH then absolutely rode rings round himself shagging his way round our town for about 5 years 🤣🤣 so I was correct

He has settled down now and remarried . But he sure Made up for lost time !! Pretty sure most blokes (and women) would prefer the variety of shagging different people before settling down (or not settling down)

So less of the smugness op

I’m glad to see you getting absolutely roasted OP…….guess there’s a first time for everything hey 😉😁

My husband of 3 years never comes up and hugs me out of the blue, he never kisses me or touches me unless he wants sex. Why do you think this could be? Tia

I’ve just had a look and I’ve seen you didn’t get to much traffic on this post and I really wish you received more support. Do you think perhaps you’re focusing on the aspect of your relationship that sets you apart, to conceal the parts that are quite painful? It’s sounds really horrible to only have physical contact when sex is involved.

Even though you did come across a little smug, my hunch is you’re struggling in your relationship and you may be quite lonely, which makes me sad. Hope you’re okay my luv x

On a serious note if you’ve only been with each other, you don’t have anything to measure it against. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, if you’re happy with your sex life, but you have no idea what you’re missing out on. It’s like settling for lumpfish roe, when there is actual caviar out there*

*caviar isn’t for everyone, and there is nothing wrong with lumpfish roe.

Your relationship is not the only way to be happy. You could easily say "why use a sex toy, you could have just as much fun with a person"

No sex toy (and I've been single a lot and tried lots of different toys over the years,) beats the flirting and anticipation, kissing, skin on skin, the scent of sex, looking into each other's eyes, the joy of turning someone else on, finding out how they react to touch.

It can also be fun to have sex with more than one person at once.
There's no way I'd want an actual relationship with some of the people I've bedded. They might be fun in bed, but waking up with them every day, doing the laundry and shopping and so on? No thanks.

Or use a sex toy with a person...