One night stands/casual sex

[champagnedrunk]

Both my husband and myself have only ever been with each other sexually. I have dated in the past and so has he but very short "relationships" I mean a date or two here and there, none of which lead to sex or anything close.

We met in our early 20's and have been together 15 years we have two young children.

Is it common for two people in their 30's to have never have had a sexual relationship with anyone else, we do not come from religious backgrounds or anything like that.

I see people out having casual sex and one night stands and just wonder why? What is the point? Surely you'd get as much sexual pleasure at home with a sex toy as you would from another person? We have an amazing sex life and relationship and and don't feel like we missed out on anything by not having other sexual relationships.

You wonder why because you haven't done it, so you don't know what it's like or how much fun it can be.

If you don't plan to then I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, but if you genuinely think that interacting with another person is the same as using a sex toy then that's pretty pitiful, and I'd hate to go to my grave believing that.

Well, the question is why do you think it's important whether it's common or not?
There's no better or worse here, though I'd say being knowledgeable about the possible health risks of sex with many people would be my only criteria.

It's just the thought and idea of being with anyone who isn't my dh makes me feel a bit sick and can't understand why anyone would want to have multiple partners

I'm one of those people OP. Together since 16, now 38, only sexual partners. I do wonder sometimes if I've missed out, although I can't say I would believe there is any comparison to a toy, I think there would be a huge difference. I have no plans to change my current situation. I do think it's natural to wonder what if though!

Just wondering if there's many other couples like this out there. Most of our friends have been with tons of other people.

It's quite nice though isn't it? Sounds a tad smug but I also feel like our relationship is quite special when you look at how casual putting your genitalia into another person has become.

The flirt, the chemistry, the anticipation, the adrenaline, sex is also different with different people, new experiences, new tricks. Dating with sex, one night stands, fwb etc can be an awful lot of fun.
You sound quite judgemental in your tone.

Very judgy OP …. Such a smug post 🙄

The excitement the buzz the sex is different in that situation you wouldn’t know as you have never done it …everyone to there own don’t judge personally been there done that and enjoyed every bloody minute

You don't understand that different people enjoy different things & experiences?. Sure sex within a relationship can be great. It can also be great to have a sexual connection with a stranger or casual acquaintance and just go for it based purely on being extremely horny and turned on.

Jumped the shark pretty early on there, OP.

You sound quite judgmental to be honest. You don’t sound like you genuinely want to understand anything here

@Kitkat1523 it's very shortsighted and faux naive , "I can't possibly imagine why people enjoy something I've never tried....." 🙄

why do you think there should be a virtue placed on where your genitalia have been? It doesn't make you a better, kinder, smarter or more loving person because you've only had sex with one individual in your entire life.

Watch out with that smugness OP, lest you be back here a year or two from now bemoaning that your DH has decided he'd quite like to casually put his genitalia into someone else just to see what the fuss is all about.

Yes, expressing extreme disapproval and judgement by pretending not to understand something is an old one on here. My mother has also done it for as long as I can remember 🤣

Both my husband and I had several partners before meeting and falling in love. I don't think that's abnormal in any way, and I think you learn from each experience. Different partners like different things and as PP has said, there's the thrill and exhilaration of connecting with people. We're in a loving, committed relationship and I'm sure we'll grow old together. But I'm glad we both had those experiences - I think I'd have ended up thinking 'what if...' otherwise, particularly when the relationship got to the more 'comfortable stage'. Each to their own though - sounds like you're happy, and that's absolutely the main thing.

Can’t people who start these ‘I don’t understand why people do something different to me?’ threads see how transparent they are?

You sound super judgemental OP. I hope you learn to tone it down and more accepting of difference by the time your own kids come of age, otherwise you’ll risk being quite lonely.

@SocksAndTheCity my mum just makes very occasional references to a 'mis spent youth' 🫣😂

Everyone's different and enjoys different things. As long as you're happy why worry about what other people are doing. Also not everyone gets to meet someone to settle down with as easily as you did or they're divorced but still want to date and have sex. Being single shouldn't have to mean taking a vow of celibacy.

Yes, judgy and smug. And if you can compare using a sex toy to having sex with a real unknown person who you connect with , well all I can say is , poor you

Massively smug and strange post OP!

Some people, like you, regard sex and something special and to be kept between people who really care about each other. Other people see it as a fun thing to do, something they do with people they like but aren't necessarily in love with, or something to do with as many people as they can.

You're not right, it's just your opinion. 'Putting your genitalia into someone else' absolutely can be perfectly casual, fun, fulfilling, satisfying, blah blah - it hasn't 'become' anything, casual sex has been around as long as people have existed.

Personally I would think only having sex with one person ever and then assuming you're the one having the best sex life ever is a bold take, tbh!

Consider yourself very lucky!!

I've had some absolutely vile sexual encounters. I wish I had only met my husband 😕 we met late in life and I have many traumas.

You are blessed.

Has become? I'm old enough to have enjoyed casual sex when you were a baby and still be aware that my generation did not invent it.

Bit of a random post. Do you feel like a better person than everyone else now?
Because if that's what you were hoping for the smug/judgey side of your post makes you the quite opposite