It's just laundry - nothing to be embarrassed about

[Aparecium]

I took the family's clean laundry off the airer, folded it and put it in a basket. I gave the basket to 17yo ds and asked him to sort it and put piles of clean laundry on everyone's beds for them to put away.

When dh does the laundry, he either tells people to claim their kit straight from the airer, or he sorts it as he takes it off the airer, so the dc who distributes it just has to pick up ready-sorted piles.

Apparently ds told dh that he prefers dh's way, as he was embarrassed handling his mum's and his sister's underwear.

YANBU - it's just clean clothes and ds should be grateful he wasn't asked to put on a load as then he would be handling dirty laundry.

YABU - give the bashful teen boy a break.

Your Hs first way is the most efficient, getting everyone to grab their own stuff. Cuts out two stages in the process. Failing that I'd sort into piles for people to put away. It's not so much about embarrassment, more that there's no way my family would have reliably known which garment belonged to which person.

Yes your husbands way is better then there is no pant dispute your poor son i know it's "just underwear" to you but to him it's a huge deal and embarrassing.

I agree with your DH's method. No teen boy wants to be handling his mum's undies!

Yup I agree with your husband too!

That’s pathetic. Is his attitude towards women in general poor?

I mean when we had 3 females in the house my dh wouldn't know who's bras was who's.

At 17 I'd be expecting him to help with every stage of family laundry, dirty and clean. Unless you gave him your bondage gear, embarrassment about some pants is OTT

Good point. Is your son a terrible person? I think that's what the OP was getting at. LTB

You can't really police what someone feels embarrassed about. Feeling embarrassed is just a thing that happens, it's something we can control. And teenagers are usually much more prone to embarrassment than any other group; they find almost everything embarrassing one way or another"

Your DH's way sounds like a more efficient process anyway.

I'm in my fifites, a woman, and I don't really want to sort out my mother's undercrackers 😄

I can see why a teen boy doesn't want to handle women's underwear.

Also, your current way is inefficient. So I'd either go with DH's way, or, when you take the clothes off the airer, fold it into individual piles for each family member. Then there is no need for a secondary sort.

Oh, do give over.

4 females here but I sort mine then tell them to sort theirs or I inevitably get dragged into arguments about who’s taken who’s Zara top, pants or socks!

if he prefers DHs way and DH agrees fab! He can be in charge of laundry from now on.

The issue is know whose stuff is whose. So DH leaves DDs underwear to me.... partly because half of it the same size.

Presumably someone has to deal with his skiddy boxers, his semen stained sheets and possibly his wank socks! I think he needs some help in overcoming his fragility about women. I suggest you ask him to buy some period products for female family members next time he nips down to the shop for some Pringles.

It’s perfectly understandable. My kids joke about ‘mum’s massive gross knickers’ and refuse to touch them (I’m a size 10). And if I’m helping my Mum and Dad at their house getting the washing in, I say ‘I’ll bring the washing in before it rains but I refuse to touch Dad’s pants!’ Obviously I do but it does give me the ick a bit.

I absolutely hated being asked to handle my parents underwear when I was a child. One of my chores was folding the laundry and I just found it awful.

it may be one of the reasons I keep everyone’s laundry divided in my household instead of commingled.

i have asked dd if she would mind putting my bras up on the drying rack and she was legitimately ok with that, but she has pushed back at helping with loads of laundry containing her dad’s underwear or for having her dad handle her laundry and we are all ok with that. People should be able to set boundaries.

Well come on. He’s being ridiculous 😂 The knickers are clean!

YABU. The fact that there are two females in the house and he'd have to specifically examine each pair of knickers / bra to work out whether it's mum's or sister's does sound a bit cringe-making from the POV of a 17 year old. (Scratch that point if your DD is actually 5yo).

But give him another household job instead - this isn't a get out card from actual work.

Bit of an extrapolation there, to go from "teenage boy not wanting to spend time considering whether this skimpy thong belongs to my mother or my sister, and how about the 34dd bra?" To "He must be a deviant who doesn't respect women."

I agree with the other posters who have said dhs way sounds both more efficient and more likely to get the correct clothes to the right person.

My ds is 24, he is very respectful towards women, has a girlfriend and female friends and is a fully functioning "normal" enough adult male. However, he would be very embarrassed if I asked him to handle my dirty and even clean big knickers and bras. It's just the way he is, also I don't think I'd like him rummaging through my dirty "not so" smalls to put a wash on. He puts his own stuff in the washer but I just know, without asking, that he wouldn't want to do mine.

I've solved that issue. My ds does his own laundry.

me to. I'd feel weird handling my mother's undies, and I'm a 35 year old woman!

I tried that and ended up with them putting a wash on for one pair of socks and a t shirt!

YABU. Most teenage boys don't want to be touching their mum's knickers