It's just laundry - nothing to be embarrassed about

[Aparecium]

I took the family's clean laundry off the airer, folded it and put it in a basket. I gave the basket to 17yo ds and asked him to sort it and put piles of clean laundry on everyone's beds for them to put away.

When dh does the laundry, he either tells people to claim their kit straight from the airer, or he sorts it as he takes it off the airer, so the dc who distributes it just has to pick up ready-sorted piles.

Apparently ds told dh that he prefers dh's way, as he was embarrassed handling his mum's and his sister's underwear.

YANBU - it's just clean clothes and ds should be grateful he wasn't asked to put on a load as then he would be handling dirty laundry.

YABU - give the bashful teen boy a break.

Huh? I do suffer from anxiety as it happens but I'm sure it wasn't doing the washing that caused it?

Try reading it again

Your DH method is easier but I do your method. I can see why your son is embarrassed I would imagine most teenage boys would be.

Don't worry too much my husband has a habit of putting my underwear in my 4 year old daughters drawers 🤣. My daughter thinks it's hilarious finding mummy's big bloomers in her drawers. No idea how he gets confused between small pink unicorn pants and huge black granny pants 🤣

To quote my dd “I don’t want to touch his crusty musty socks or pants” and that stands for dirty into the machine or clean off the line 😂 they are not actually crusty nor musty. Well maybe musty is dirty I guess.

False equivalence - people working in laundrettes aren't usually handling their family members knickers.

Yeah but who wants to touch anyone's dirty clothes out of choice? @OhmygodDont

I'm just interested what all the replies would be then.

Strangers bodily fluids wouldn't be any more pleasant or unpleasant than family members imo. They're all manky.

Reading the replies here, I'm really pleased that nobody in my family is the slightest bit precious about putting away anyone else's freshly washed underwear! I can't believe people are saying they find it icky or weird. Generations of women have washed their whole family's clothes and underwear and managed not to find it a problem.

I think I would be worried if he wanted to get his hands on his mum’s and sisters’ lacy underthings. A teenage boy thinking it is embarrassing is a relief.

Some people (possibly) confusing 'must do men's washing ' with 'it makes more sense to put on a load together '. And if you need to put on a load at a particular time, it might require gathering up some jocks.

What did you read that I didn't write?

I'm saying the propensity for people to insist that the very smallest of things are catalysts or indicators of very big and often dramatic consequences is enough to set any kid on edge.

One minute he doesn't want to get up close to his mum and sisters undies the next minute he has been chalked up as a man who has woman hating tendencies, he has a future wife who resents him and he's not very useful in society. I mean, please. It's too much.

Boy doesn't want to rifle through his mams knickers and accused of misogyny! I would be worried if he was comfy doing it to be honest.

Women and men need these boundaries. It keeps women safe. He sounds like a lovely lovely young man to me.

Well you're as good as I am for seeing the imaginary stuff aren't you?

What imaginary stuff? All those things I have listed have been dotted through this thread.

Ahhh I'm all for "don't be a wet wipe it's only a tampon packet" if my DCs faint at an empty wrapper I've not thrown in the bin type situations but tbf I do understand your DS not wanting to even see his mums and sisters undies let alone handling them.

That’s silly. I always felt a bit 😬 when I put my elderly mother’s underwear on the airer for her. Doesn’t make me a bad person.

I have never handled either of my parents' underwear. As long as they are able to do it themselves, I won't be. At 17 I would have had the same reaction. That said, I did all my own laundry (and put it away) from 15-16 years old.

You don't need to rifle through anything to do the bloody washing fgs. You grab them and shove them in the machine. Honest to god. These are not anywhere near 'boundaries' that are needed by men!

The op is on about when they have been washed and dried and they need to be parcelled out into individual piles to go into drawers.

Fine, my mistake. But that post is Mrs Bennett level of ridiculous. What century are we in?

Still false equivalence.

How do you feel about your parents fucking? Or your siblings? The same as you'd think about anyone else fucking?

No you don't. It's not something you want to think about and you have an inherent aversion to because it's your parents or siblings and although you know they do/have done it, the thoughts/feelings/reaction you have are VERY different to your thoughts/feelings/reactions to anyone else in the world having sex.

Because they are your intimate relations.

And their pants/knickers are intimate too so most people feel very differently about their parents/siblings underwear than they would with underwear in general.

I agree with it. The ick is a useful instinct.

Er, this isn’t about that stage of the process. This is about the individual handling, trying to decide which lacy thong or bra is your mum or your sister(s) and then folding and putting them into individual piles.

I didn't love the idea of 'my parents fucking' (do you?) I tried to give it as little thought as was humanly possible. I equally don't equate underwear with shagging. It's an item of clothing. One that i'd want to dispense of asap into the washing machine albeit, but it has nothing to do with shagging.

Treat yourself to something small and made of lace to see his reaction.

if he can’t handle nickers now how is he going to deal with buying sanitary products for someone when he is older.

keep doing what you are doing, demystify women