It's just laundry - nothing to be embarrassed about

[Aparecium]

I took the family's clean laundry off the airer, folded it and put it in a basket. I gave the basket to 17yo ds and asked him to sort it and put piles of clean laundry on everyone's beds for them to put away.

When dh does the laundry, he either tells people to claim their kit straight from the airer, or he sorts it as he takes it off the airer, so the dc who distributes it just has to pick up ready-sorted piles.

Apparently ds told dh that he prefers dh's way, as he was embarrassed handling his mum's and his sister's underwear.

YANBU - it's just clean clothes and ds should be grateful he wasn't asked to put on a load as then he would be handling dirty laundry.

YABU - give the bashful teen boy a break.

From the other perspective, I hated my dad and brothers touching my underwear when I was a teenager.
I had absolutely no concerns about any nefarious activities but my underwear felt very private. So I can see where your DS is coming from and maybe there's a mutual feeling from your DDs as well?

I do it dhs way.

I’m mean who really would want to be trying to work out if these pants or this thong was mum or sisters and it doesn’t matter which way. No son wants to know his mum or sister has some sexy little red number 😂

I don’t want to sort my mothers laundry either nor her or my dads pants do I want in my hands 😂

I did tell him he needed to have decent load. We had also had a conversation about water and electric use.

I agree that it makes more sense for him to do his own washing at 17, then it's not your problem.

@ghostyslovesheets We have occasionally had an emergency wash of the clothes someone wants to wear tomorrow (but it would go on a short wash), but generally nobody finds that an efficient way to do their laundry!

😂😂😂

I didn’t mean that.

Whole discussion is bizarre to me.
They're undies not sex toys.
Teenage boys need to understand that girls (including siblings and Mum) are not some alien species, and yes - they wear underwear.
When he has a partner is he not going to put their clean, dry underwear away either??

"Oh great, I get to handle the clothes that cover my mum's vagina and breasts"

I didn’t think of my dad/step-dad or brothers as an alien species but I would not have been sorting their undies for them as a teenager (or now?). Or my mum’s or sister’s for that matter. It’s somehow degrading 😂. Wouldn’t want my sons sorting my knickers either - very undignified for all concerned!

Why would you not just make separate piles when you fold, making one big one then separating later is adding a completely unnecessary additional step.

I’d expect DS to be able to pick up a pile of my clothes that happened to include my underwear and put it on the bed for me to put away, but creating that pile by actually folding/individually handling/checking the label of my knickers to work out whose is whose would not be something I expected or wanted of him (or his sister).

But by 17 I’m rather hoping my DS will do his own laundry and each person will just be responsible for their own stuff.

Oh for fucks sake, over reaction much?! he's 17, a hormonal teen, literally everything will be embarrassing to him! (I know, I have a teen!) it's not about his life long attitude to women, it's about him not wanting to see his Mums undercrackers!

And I agree!
Putting things into piles as you take them off the airer is much more efficient way so I'm with him and DH on this.

When my mil comes to stay and her undies go through the laundry then I get the baulk. Maybe I'm just a raging entitled misogynist 🤷

Isn't that a bit of a cop out though, the person doing the job just has to use their head a bit?

How are you supposed to guess which bra belongs to which female? Especially if they're all the same/similar sizes?

Laughing here. I've just asked 2 of my DC (23M and 19F) and they're of the opinion that unless you're asking him to clean your dirty butt plug, your DS is an "absolute wetwipe".

lol okie dokes I’m clearly wrong 🤦‍♀️

His feelings are his feelings and I don't think they should be dismissed out of hand.

I'm sure when he grows up he'll feel differently.

At one point while I lived at home my sister and I wore nearly same size bra and had fairly similar taste. I’d have been pretty alarmed if my Dad or brother knew that mine would usually be nude though if it was black with lace it was mine but if it was without lace it was hers, mine was the 34c if it was from Debenhams but 36B if it was M&S and hers was the 32c, except if it was from M&S when it was 34c…

By the time bras are being worn people are old enough to do their own laundry, or at least collect their own from the rack.

I wouldn't want to handle either of my parents undies and I'm a full grown woman.

I don't think a 16 year old boy should have to work out which bra or thongs belong to his mother or his sister.

Dh's method would be more efficient if we had the space to make all the piles as the clothes were removed. But there isn't the space. It works out as remove and fold all of one person's things one at a time, then the next person's things etc. Things always get missed and discovered in the middle of another person's things. Ditto when everyone takes only their own things.

Ds doesn't get uncomfortable when pegging out, but then I suppose he doesn't have to actually look at and think about the pants etc.

As a teenager I didn't get a choice. I did housework. I helped my mum. Yes, I got the ick about handling df's and db's pants, but I just got on with it.

I don't have any worries about my boy's attitude to women 😄

Not even sure where you're going with this.

Nor would I, but then I'm the type of person who would rather stick my head in a blender than float the words 'dirty butt plug' past my mother.

Is your MN name meant to be ironic?

Tbf we did what the Ops husband does and just sorted our own stuff from a basket.

Hasn’t he got important school work to do? A much better use of his time.

Oh chill out and take a day off.

I, as a teen girl didn't like seeing/handling my Mums knickers as they often had usual menstruation stains in them.

And still, decades later I think my Mum was dirty for putting unwrapped used sanitary towels in the indoors bin that I and my brother would see.

It's nothing to do with having a poor attitude to women, just that some things should be private.