AIBU to feel disheartened by the lack of support and the presence of a crab bucket mentality among some women on here?

[NameChangeAsICouldBeOverReacting]

Is it unreasonable for me to feel disheartened by the lack of support and the presence of a crab bucket mentality among some women on here?

When I first joined Mumsnet, I hoped to find a community where mothers and women could uplift and support each other on a variety of topics, especially those concerning parenting, finances, and the cost of living. However, I've noticed a trend where instead of offering encouragement, there's no support and a race to the bottom mentality.

Shouldn't this space be about rallying together to support everyone in the UK? We should be annoyed at the government for creating the cost of living issues and we should push for them to make things better for future generations.

Recently, I read discussions on the cost of living, where some individuals seemed unable to empathise with those facing financial struggles. Some suggested that just because they did it that it shouldn’t be a problem for those on above average salaries and it is simply a “choice”. Even suggestions of just “relocating to cheaper areas” without considering the complexities of individual circumstances, simply because they did it several years ago. It's disheartening to see dismissive attitudes towards those who are genuinely struggling, whether they're living on a tight budget or facing high living costs in the South due to personal ties.

If we, as women, continue to tear each other down rather than lifting each other up, how can we ever hope to bring about positive change? Let's try to foster a culture of support and understanding.

Eh? They ‘do’ on an anonymous forum, precisely because it is anonymous and they can let rip. Do they in real life, I don’t think so unless they are very tough individuals.

Petty? No, factual. Sorry if that doesn't sit well with you. And I CBA with your point now, you couldn't be arsed to read mine.

I really don’t think it’s that bad. There are some bad tempered threads, but they tend to be predictable: psychic and woo believers always get angry when told they’ve swallowed a load of guff; stepmums and separated mums won’t ever see eye-to-eye; threads about dog nuisance; renters v landlords; etc etc.

It may be the relationships board/threads that people have in mind. But I tend to avoid those because I think they attract the prurient and bossy, whatever the ‘concerned’ posters might say about their ‘advice’, TBH.

On the whole, though, most discussion is amicable.

I find that most people with problems, have them because they're doing something wrong.

@Beautiful3 reading your post I found myself in the rather weird position of hoping you're an AI bot, because if you're actually human and wrote that then I am embarrassed for you.

Fair enough, you did make a point that I didn’t read correctly, many apologies.

Thank you

Anthropomorphism at its finest though, isn't it?

Crabs aren't busily pulling other crabs back down to stop them getting out. They are all trying to climb out by any means possible, all at once, including climbing on one another, before the cannibalism starts. The consequence of that just means that none of them makes it out of the bucket. They don't know what they are doing, and they aren't purposely dragging others down to their level.

Stupid analogy really, when you think of it.

Yeh, it's so disheartening when people start in with the insults. When that happens I have to confess that I find it really difficult to rein it in and not respond in kind. I have to discipline myself, but by that point the damage is done and it feels so destructive