What to say to sexist salesman asking for my 'husband' to be present for quote? Should i say something?

[Sailawaygirl]

So man selling windows (well known company) came to door saying he had done some work on a house up street and they have a good deal atm ect ect. It just so happens I do need new windows and getting quotes is on my todo list so for once door knock could be helpful. ( i will obviously contact more than just his company but its a start)

my AIBU is --- in door step conversation he asks if we own house ( obviously important). he then asks if I have a husband, I say yes ( we arent married but I know what he means and he is probably asking for finance reasons ect)
He then says he wants to come back ' when my husband is around' so he can talk to us both!!!!! i say DP is working today but window man can come back to give me a full quote latter in day. He then insists on coming when 'husband' is back from work or at a weekend so husband can have quote!!! I tell sales person that i deal with quotes and DIY stuff and to just deal with me. Its a loose quote im not going to sign on dotted line today! He says it so i can choose what colour handles on doors ect!!!! I tell him im more interested in energy efficiency and cost and that i dont want him to come when DP is back from work as this impacts family time.
Then when he takes my details and asks for my title - i say ms , he says mrs and then miss and i correct no ms.

How can a salesman be so out of tune with the times? he wasn't an older sales person either!!!!

He said someone would phone me for feedback after, AIBU to bring up that i felt he had a sexist attitude? how do i phrase it constructively

Probably better to use a local company, than Anglican or one of the well-known ones. They have hideous mark up

Windows are expensive. Why on earth would you hire a misogynist who knocks on the door and claims to be doing work up the road (a classic scammer tactic by the way)?!

If you want windows just go on your local Facebook group or google reviews or Checkatrade or Trustpilot and hire a company with decent reviews. You’ll get a way better price and guarantee that way than you would from some door to door sales dude.

Treat this conversation as the red flag it was.

Well I don't know if self promotion is allowed but do send me a message if you're in the South East and I'll get a quote to you. I doubt you're anywhere near me though

Lots of smaller companies do take credit cards, we do. A couple of our customers have also told us they've had bank loans.
Unfortantly, credit companies just won't back smaller companies. We did try to offer finace but it wasn't possible for us. That's where the bigger and more expensive companies get us.

What law? :-))

Companies that employ these tactics are rarely reputable. They will chew your ear off for three hours. Come up with a ridiculous quote, pretend to call their " boss" for a special deal and will miraculously halve the original quote.

The husband being present thing is a warning sign. Ask them if they would ask a man if he was married and insist on her being present for a quote...

Tell them to get stuffed and find a recommended window supplier who hasn't been " working down the road."

I would never entertain anyone who knocked at my door asking for business. Good trades men do not need to do this.

I vaguely remember something about if they can coerce persuade you to sign in your home, you aren't legally able to cancel, either, whereas if you think about it and then contact them, you have all the protections of consumer law.

I used to renovate houses for a living. I’d regularly encounter this behaviour. I’d tell them “This is my business, it has nothing to do with my husband. He doesn’t ring me to ask permission to make decisions in his job, and I don’t let him make decisions in mine”. Usually they’d still refuse to quote. It’s like the Middle Ages!

If it's really about 'saving time', then you'd think these companies would cut down on their ridiculously lengthy sales pitches and stop all the nonsense where they tell you an initial (absurd) price, before going off and calling the boss and telling you they've secured a limited-time-only, super special deal for you. When we had our windows done in our last house, they were there for literally hours to give us a quote. I've never seen this kind of farcical sales method in anything other than windows. I've easily managed to book decorators, have boilers fitted etc without any nonsense about having dh present.

I got this when I took my car to be repaired when I was 20. Your dad this and that, so just told them he was dead. You could´ve heard a feather drop. He wasn´t.

Alicewin,AGLIAN, they definitely aren't religious!! I had a problem with them. Man just wouldn't go or take no for an answer. Another one of the big ones,in the 80s, DH as is now,we weren't married them. Bloke was really pushy and rude about the doors to our conservatory. When he came back with the written quote,he pushed a contract across the table told me to sign it. I said I wasn't signing. He told me it was just to show he had been!! He rang, I said we weren't using them. He said my husband told him we were. I told him I didn't have a husband,he said I introduced this man as my husband. I didn't, because he wasn't. He was getting nasty and abusive. Kept insisting I did have a husband. He then told me the windows had been made. He only took rough measurements, the surveyor hadn't been round to measure properly. Me,if I'm in the right, I have the last word. I told him that the man at my house was my brother. You should have heard him rant,he obviously thinks there is incest afoot, although I never said he lived there. Speak to neighbours,get a local company. I thought cold calling like this was against the law now.

Another reason to go to a local company

ANGLIAN!!

The three hours they spend in your home is to wear you down. It's all part of the tactic and it's bloody horrible.

We've had elderly customers who said they've felt quite shaken by it and had to go and have a lie down.

A local guy will be in and out in 10 minutes flat. The only time my husband stays more than 20 minutes is if it's the customer that's chewing his ear off, which beleive it or not also happens! 😄

Some of the posts on here just go to show the outright lies and bullshit that door to door sales people come out with to pressure people in to buying.

Never ever buy from someone who turns up on the doorstep. You are putting them in control.

Wide crazy eyes, bright smile, little giggle and say 'Oh you'll be waiting a while. Even the police couldn't find all of him!' Keep smiling.

Exactly this - can't believe this is still happening in 2024. If I had extra time, I'd tweet the company too to tell them why they lost a sale.

Brilliant!!! 😂

I used to do the same job, a long time ago now, and this was also my experience. I wouldn't talk about husband/wife in the first instance though, I'd ask if they owned the property with anyone because ideally both homeowners would be present. From what the OP has said, I would've gone ahead with the quote however.

Never buy anything or engage with someone selling anything who knocks your door uninvited. Good companies don’t use this tactic.
I once went to buy a car on my own (about 20 years ago) and the salesman asked me if my husband wanted to look at it before I decided. I was too gobsmacked to say anything but no at the time but later I wished I had thought to ask him if his mum would like to confirm the price with him first before he sold anything.

They are 'trained' loosely as it maybe, to pitch to both halves of a couple at the same time. Basically to stop one from saying 'oh well I need to discuss it with x'. They want you to have to make a decision on the spot. They will claim they're offering a one off discount, stay in your house for hours etc etc.
Just cancel it. You know he's lying when he says he's doing work for the neighbours as well right?

I've owned a window company for four years now and I can honeslty say I have not found this to be the case AT ALL. Women very regularly make the decisions and quite often the men will be absolutely clueless. Or they will say they want blue and then will email later with "sorry, Claire/Emma/Sophie wants orange."

I have not actually found there to be any difference whatsoever.

We've also worked for women on their own and four different lesbian couples. Women make a lot of decisions and are no more dithery than men.

Don't deal with people who come to the door and don't believe they are doing work for your neighbour, most of the time it's a lie and just a way to start the sales pitch. He wants you both there so he can keep making the offer better and better until you start to consider it, but can only do this if you sign now. (And if you do go with them it will probably be a rubbish job).

Cynical me?

😧😧😧😧 What did you say?

Happened several times to me, once it was recently. Usually national companies, or ones that have traveled long distances. I questioned them and they said it was because they come all the way and the woman says that she needs to ok it first with hub bub
What it really is about is pressure selling.

What about men whose wife isn’t home, don’t say it to them do they?

Had this and wanting to know if you are a homeowner. I think having both there and knowing it’s your house is about suing you if they fit and you don’t pay.

The fact that only a few places do this but most don’t means it’s unnecessary and rude.

I understand it maybe 30 years ago, but it’s really insulting nowadays.

Very sexist how dare you ? You'd be told to get lost and if a large company I'd be complaining to your head office