What to say to sexist salesman asking for my 'husband' to be present for quote? Should i say something?

[Sailawaygirl]

So man selling windows (well known company) came to door saying he had done some work on a house up street and they have a good deal atm ect ect. It just so happens I do need new windows and getting quotes is on my todo list so for once door knock could be helpful. ( i will obviously contact more than just his company but its a start)

my AIBU is --- in door step conversation he asks if we own house ( obviously important). he then asks if I have a husband, I say yes ( we arent married but I know what he means and he is probably asking for finance reasons ect)
He then says he wants to come back ' when my husband is around' so he can talk to us both!!!!! i say DP is working today but window man can come back to give me a full quote latter in day. He then insists on coming when 'husband' is back from work or at a weekend so husband can have quote!!! I tell sales person that i deal with quotes and DIY stuff and to just deal with me. Its a loose quote im not going to sign on dotted line today! He says it so i can choose what colour handles on doors ect!!!! I tell him im more interested in energy efficiency and cost and that i dont want him to come when DP is back from work as this impacts family time.
Then when he takes my details and asks for my title - i say ms , he says mrs and then miss and i correct no ms.

How can a salesman be so out of tune with the times? he wasn't an older sales person either!!!!

He said someone would phone me for feedback after, AIBU to bring up that i felt he had a sexist attitude? how do i phrase it constructively

We had this with windows. Me & hubby spoke & agreed what we wanted, but around work, kids etc, it’s almost impossible to get us together. I ended up not bothering with them!

It's actually depressing how many times I've had this at the door. I once had a broadband company, upon opening the door and saying hello, immediately ask if my husband was at home!

Worse still for me is when male salesmen FLIRT with me as part of their sales patter. Grim. As if flattery will get me to open my purse 🙄

I would call headquarters and tell them you were in the market for their product but won't be purchasing because of the boldly sexist approach of their sales team. I would imagine they will ask for more detail if they want it.

Why are people still going on about sexism? RTFT. Countless posters have explained that this is entirely about their hard sell tactics, and making sure both decision makers are there so they have no excuse to say no. Nothing at all to do with sexism.

Quick Tops Quartz overlays will also not give quotes without your husband there too. This is why I chose to not proceed with them.

I wrapped my work surface myself instead. All on my own. With my feeble lady hands. My husband was fine with it. ✌️

I had the same from safe style. He threw his folder down on floor when I said no my husband is out and I don’t want you coming back again for a simple quote when my husband is home. I don’t need his permission. He got angry saying I’m wasting his time without “the man of the house around”. At that point I said get out, I don’t want to deal with you or your company with that attitude. He said it’s always the same, women wasting their time.
I replied that I won’t tolerate a minimum wage pushy short man disrespecting me in my home and if he’s not out in next 30 seconds I’ll be calling the police. Soon left and I reported him to company.

Just refuse to deal with him, and take your business elsewhere.

Be interesting if they tried this on me “you need my partner to be home? Not sure why, this is MY house!” 😂

I did window sales as a job in a college summer holiday. They want both people there who own the house because then they can pressure for the agreement on the spot. If one person takes the quote then they will usually need to confirm with thw other person who owns the house and 9 timea out of ten that gives them time to look around for other quotes and ask for further discounts. Its a sales tactic to shorten the time for you to sign, if you are both there in agreement they can get you to sign on the day before you have a chance to discuss and look around. I would not proceed with a doorstep salesman but go online and find a reputable local company or get a recommendation from someone you know.

When I worked in sales, we had to have both the homeowners’ permission for even an appointment because they both need to agree to any work being done on the house.

I think the rules for cold call sales are stricter. He’d have asked for the wife if he spoke to your husband.

Then they wouldn’t need your partner. It’s only if you both own the property.

1. we’ve already established that it’s nothing to do with that, they just assume women aren’t allowed to make decisions
2. How the hell would they know that when they ask if I have a husband/partner and I say “yes”? They didn’t ask OP who owned the house did they 🤦🏻‍♀️

Nope. I told our salesman a number of times that I owned my home outright when I was widowed several years ago. My current partner lives with me and came home from work in the middle of the appointment. Salesman got very nervous and demanded that my partner needed to be present and co-sign for the work - which had more or less been agreed by that point. I repeated that I was the sole owner and that partner wasn’t paying for the work, but it didn’t make much difference, so I asked him to leave and went with another company. No time for this kind of shit.

I had it with both a bathroom salesman and one from a kitchen company. I’m single and on booking the appointments I explained clearly that I was the sole home owner and had no intention of signing an agreement there and then as I had booked a number of quotes. Both salesmen got shirty after they’d given the quotes and went into the usual spiel about offers only available if I signed on the dotted line. I repeated that I’d made it clear on booking that I wasn’t going to be rushed into a decision, and BOTH salesmen actually asked indirectly whether they could come back when my husband was home !! They were both shown the door. It’s insulting.

I’m an ex state agent and we used to ask for both the homeowners present (if they were both on the deeds) because it saved going back again to re explain to the partner. It’s so much easier to do with both decision makers present.

Nothing sexist about it I’m pleased to say. If a husband asked for a valuation without his wife present and she was on the deeds, I would arrange it for a time they could both be there.

It’s not sexist, they just want both people there. We had one (with a name like a mountain) come to quote us a few years ago and I said I only had an hour as I had to go out. He said this was plenty of time and proceeded to do his spiel. When it came time for me to leave, he got really arsey. I said it was fine as he could stay and continue with just my husband, but he kept saying he needed both of us. I said it didn’t matter as we weren’t signing up there and then as we had another company to get a quote from and compare. He then got quite aggressive and intimidating, so I just picked up my bag, told him to finish the quote with my husband and I set off out of the door. He then just picked up his stuff and left too. There was absolutely no way he was going to carry on without both of us there and he was really angry we’d “wasted his time”.
During the meeting, he also kept trying to pressurise us into paying on finance, even though we had the cash. He kept saying we should set up finance and then pay it off after the first month. It was so obvious he was getting a hefty commission from selling the finance product on top.
It was a really horrible experience and needless to say, we didn’t order windows from them!!

I dealt with them i said we arent married house is in my name so my bf isnt entitled to an opnion. He still insisted said its company policy.

I said its sexist policy, 👋

I would’ve laughed in his face and asked for that in writing. ‘The little miss requires male supervision’

and totally bring it up in anyway possible. Multiple times. Phone, email etc. And get a bonus discount over it.

i get it. He’s trying to be a greasy salesman that gets you excited and sign. If your hubby is there you can’t ‘talk it over with your husband’.

and please know when it’s one day deal only, ‘can’t be honoured’ after you think - it’s just a pressure tactic. Should you decide you want it then call them a day or two later, say you’re ready to go ahead at agreed price. If they say no, then thank them for their time say it’s unfortunate and hang up. When they call back you might even wrangle another 5-10% off. Not that it seems OP doesn’t know, just if anyone is reading. We got an epic deal. Oh and demand payment for advertising space if they wanna put a sign on your lawn. lol.

And I agree it is sexist, might also be ‘hard sell, but husbands are not asked for their wives. My husband is never asked to ensure his wife is home - it just goes ‘you own this place, no I squat here you idiot, now get off my property.

I’d love to kick someone out for this but current DP (who is not on my house deeds!) is also a multi-trade builder so I won’t ever need to get a quote for anything again 😂

As a window company, we do not do this. It's never occured to us. Measure up and have a quick chat with whoever is there. Could be the babysitter for all we care as long as the homeowner has authorised it. The send them a quote via email or occasionally in the post if requested. Leave them to mull it over and get back to us. Some next day, some in six months, some never. Such is life and there's always another customer. I can't stand pressure tactics and mindgames, far too much effort for both sides to wade through.

To all of you insisting that all house owners must contract with/sign the contract, this is quite plainly not the case.

I organised my boiler replacement by email - husband not involved at all.

I found the contract for my replacement patio windows today - made out to Mr and Mrs Squirrelwood but only I signed it.

To be clear, again, this is all about sexism.

It might also be about not wanting people to have a get out by saying yes I'll have the new windows and then saying they want to cancel because they've now consulted with their other half, but you have a 14 day cancellation right anyway and have done for over 20 years so this is outdated.

Dh is a tradesman and asks for both to be present for quotes for bigger jobs

I suggest he reads up on the law about cancellations then.

Even if we are both there and both agree, we can pull out within 14 days. That is the law under the Consumer Cancellation Regulations 2013, which replaced the Doorstep Selling regulations.

I am really surprised that this door to door " in your area" shtick is still even a thing or that anyone entertains it. My brother did it 40 years ago. There will be someone with an empty diary in front of them offering " Tuesday at 4 or Thursday at 11" when he phones " the office".
I used to be the empty diary person...
And yes asking about the husband was a thing too....

This is the reason.

My husband once had trouble buying a car because the salesman wanted me there to approve the colour! They only want to do the hard sell spiel once.

Salesmen always want both partners together.

I have been a homeowner for 30 years and have never been told by an estate that both homeowners need to be present. Why would you have to go back and explain anything?

Rubbish. Why would the salesmen think that someone else had to approve it? Even if someone is married very often one person in the couple will be the main driver and choosing the car. Only one person has to pay for the car so why would the salesman want two people to approve?