What to say to sexist salesman asking for my 'husband' to be present for quote? Should i say something?

[Sailawaygirl]

So man selling windows (well known company) came to door saying he had done some work on a house up street and they have a good deal atm ect ect. It just so happens I do need new windows and getting quotes is on my todo list so for once door knock could be helpful. ( i will obviously contact more than just his company but its a start)

my AIBU is --- in door step conversation he asks if we own house ( obviously important). he then asks if I have a husband, I say yes ( we arent married but I know what he means and he is probably asking for finance reasons ect)
He then says he wants to come back ' when my husband is around' so he can talk to us both!!!!! i say DP is working today but window man can come back to give me a full quote latter in day. He then insists on coming when 'husband' is back from work or at a weekend so husband can have quote!!! I tell sales person that i deal with quotes and DIY stuff and to just deal with me. Its a loose quote im not going to sign on dotted line today! He says it so i can choose what colour handles on doors ect!!!! I tell him im more interested in energy efficiency and cost and that i dont want him to come when DP is back from work as this impacts family time.
Then when he takes my details and asks for my title - i say ms , he says mrs and then miss and i correct no ms.

How can a salesman be so out of tune with the times? he wasn't an older sales person either!!!!

He said someone would phone me for feedback after, AIBU to bring up that i felt he had a sexist attitude? how do i phrase it constructively

"I don't do business with misogynists. Goodbye"

It because people often deflect and say, ‘oh I can’t sign as I need to talk to my partner’. They are trained to do this, my friend did it at uni to earn some extra cash (soon quit). They are told to do the same if speaking to a man and their partner isn’t there. It’s so they don’t waste the hard sell.

It’s a hectic to reduce your ability to say no because they‘ve removed one of the obvious delaying tactics.

So as well as being a sexist knob, he’s a high pressure salesman. Double reason to tell him to do one.

Well, it might be because he wants to talk to both home owners as he has to ensure that both are in agreement about the work. Maybe there have been instances of one half of a couple claiming they won't pay for the work as they did not personally agree to it initially?

But yeah, I'm just clutching at straws. If you want to complain, say it like it is. No need to frame it constructively imo.

i did wonder this? but it just came across so much like ' dont you need your husbands permission'
also I arranged a new kitchen a few years ago and none of the big kitchen companies asked for my husband to be there!!! even when I set up the finance deal so ????

Sales tactic, as above. But the ‘choose the colour’ crap is misogynistic. And it means he uses high pressure tactics. I would just not purchase from them. You could complain to head office, but he’s probably using their script anyway so they won’t care. Fucking annoying though!

Standard in window sales. For anyone that's worked in that sort of environment they'll know that it's for very good reason, to avoid wasting your time 🤷‍♀️

but why? if I called up the company or went into their show room would they want me to drag in 'husband' too? even if i'm paying?

There have been threads about a certain window company doing this before. It’s archaic and I would refuse to deal with them.

I phoned the dentist to make an appointment for my daughter recently and the guy who answered the phone booked her in and then said 'can you make sure you let daughter's father's name know as he usually brings her'.

1* review on google / Trustpilot pointing out the misogyny of their salesman.

TBF I am amazed people are still buying stuff like this door-to-door, given the huge investment it would be to replace your windows

If I am instructed by a couple I insist on seeing both. Seeing one always means explaining it all again to the other one as it’s too much information to relay and they both need to understand and make decisions. Hope I’m not seen as sexist.

It's probably not sexist. He's a salesperson. "I need to discuss it with my partner before we decide" is a common line they hear. He's knocking down barriers before they arise. Very standard practice.

I think the correct answer to the original question 'Do you have a husband?' is 'None of your business!' There are all kinds of other expensive things you can buy, or have done to your house, for which women don't seem to be asked to defer to their husbands. What's so damned special about window-sellers? Their whole way of selling their service seems ridiculous and outdated.

I got my windows from this company I suspect. They never asked my husband but when I joined the quote meeting the sales person said it was good because otherwise he would have felt he was wasting his time as people won't make a decision if both decision makers aren't there. Anyway, I negotiate for a job...we ended up with the regional manager round twice and landed a bargain, so much of a bargain they refused to do a quote for the windows on another property I own. Just remember no one has to say yes to a hard sale and have some fun with it.

I would understand if he had said ' would you like me to come back when your partner is in' or do you want to discuss it ect ect.

What every quote he is giving is going to be valid for a year - so he was trying hard not to be too 'pushy' rather than the ' this deal only valid on doorstep boloocks

The difference is though that you would have went to them, they aren’t going door to door (wasting time) to give info for you to then say no. Those staff members are at their workplace anyway so it makes no difference to them whether you go alone, then come back with your husband, then come back with your best friend etc, they’re there anyway.

With door to door salesmen they have to specifically come to you to give the info, they aren’t going to bother standing giving you it all for you to then do the “well I need to speak to my husband”- it’s one of the most common tactics for delaying so by waiting to speak to both people it removes that excuse from you basically.

Don't tell me, company begins with a D and sounds like a bad/cheesy house name for a retiree?

They did this to me. After cold calling my house. Impossible for my other half to be there during their working hours, so it was a case of only meet with me or don't meet at all. As it was a potential big order, they relented.

Ended up giving us a poorly detailed quote, which wasn't competitive. Went with a local company, who were excellent and live my new glazing!

Been through this (with SRN). Be prepared for a hard sell and push for the finance deal (they need both signatures). 1hr sales pitch will turn to 2-3hours.

Say no and shut the door!!

Complain to head office, I do every single time I am dealt this shit. Latest Halifax bank, result £40 for my "hurt feelings" in addressing letters for a joint account to only DH, one before Nationwide, £150 for their data breach due to sending my credit card to DS.

Twats like this deserve no business, it's 2024 not 1924 FFS.

If I am instructed by a couple I insist on seeing both.

How do you get to 'insist' on anything though? If I'm paying for goods or services, frankly I'm not interested in being told what to do by the person to whom I'm paying my money.

Obviously it's different if it's a legal thing, where both partners are signing an agreement, like with a mortgage or something.

Definitely provide feedback to his manager. Sexist behaviour doesn’t sell well…

My dad owned a window firm. I spent my summers from 13 doing admin for them and then from 16 going out doing solo quotes. I disagree with the pp who said salespeople will do the same with men too...I didn't.

This is my experience. If you got a man who answered the door, more often than not it didn't make any difference if the wife was there. You went through the quote, he (or they) made the decisions. Conversion rate pretty steady at expected levels, whether it was just Mr or both there.

If Miss or Mrs X opened the door, they were alone and you went through the quote, you very often didn't even get to the end of it. Lots of dithering, lots of 'I'm really not sure if Steve would want the white or not' and 'oh gosh, Mike has said something about the French doors, I really don't know which he had in mind'.

IF you even got to the end of the quote process, the conversion rate was through the floor with women. They hardly ever made any decision or purchases without running it by Mr.

The amount of hours I totally wasted was huge. Lots of unnecessary repeat appointments, returns, abandoned quotes half way. It didn't take long for me to catch on and work out how to avoid wasting my time.

It may be standard but that does not make it right.

@Shinyeyes has the simple response.

We‘ve been getting quotes on work on house and we had a salesman do this to my husband. As an independent contractor came round the following week to quote for same and husband wasn’t available, he was happy to just talk to me. We‘d heard a lot of good things about 2nd quoter, including his integrity, and he‘s getting the job.

The handles thing is sexist, though, and I think the company need to be aware what image they are projecting to their potential customers.