What to say to sexist salesman asking for my 'husband' to be present for quote? Should i say something?

[Sailawaygirl]

So man selling windows (well known company) came to door saying he had done some work on a house up street and they have a good deal atm ect ect. It just so happens I do need new windows and getting quotes is on my todo list so for once door knock could be helpful. ( i will obviously contact more than just his company but its a start)

my AIBU is --- in door step conversation he asks if we own house ( obviously important). he then asks if I have a husband, I say yes ( we arent married but I know what he means and he is probably asking for finance reasons ect)
He then says he wants to come back ' when my husband is around' so he can talk to us both!!!!! i say DP is working today but window man can come back to give me a full quote latter in day. He then insists on coming when 'husband' is back from work or at a weekend so husband can have quote!!! I tell sales person that i deal with quotes and DIY stuff and to just deal with me. Its a loose quote im not going to sign on dotted line today! He says it so i can choose what colour handles on doors ect!!!! I tell him im more interested in energy efficiency and cost and that i dont want him to come when DP is back from work as this impacts family time.
Then when he takes my details and asks for my title - i say ms , he says mrs and then miss and i correct no ms.

How can a salesman be so out of tune with the times? he wasn't an older sales person either!!!!

He said someone would phone me for feedback after, AIBU to bring up that i felt he had a sexist attitude? how do i phrase it constructively

I have already stated that I stand corrected. A solar company told my husband this.

You’re one of those delightful MN examples of someone who loves to snipe.

If its a sales tactic surely 'Mr manly husband ' is much more likely to say no and be firm about it? than poor 'mrs sailaway who might get flustered and think she has to sign her life away without thinking about it or getting other quotes?'

Utter bollocks @PotatoPudding , my husband has organised and had fitted new windows without me present, and i have organised new ones without him.

anyway OP don’t go with a doorstepper, or any of the nationals, one beginning with E has long held form for going bankrupt then reopening with a marginally changed name, meaning all guarantees are invalid. As a pp said, give your general area and ask MNs for recommendations.

it was the one beginning with A if anyone is wondering. I have only heard bad things about E too

I absolutely refuse to use any company that tries to insist on this

I get my windows sorted by a local independent company who are quite willing to come out and give me a quote by myself, and think its normal that I might want time to consider an expensive purchase rather than make a decision on the spot under pressure.

When making expensive purchases its quite normal, and sensible to get multiple quotes before deciding, so the whole suggestion from one poster upthread that the man needs to be there because the silly woman will just dither is just offensive.

Yup ours was A

They're often working commission only. They are trained to not leave the appointment unless they've closed the sale and have the paperwork signed, which is why people find themselves trapped in their own front room with them refusing to leave and repeating their increasingly desperate spiel for hours.

They want to eliminate any obvious reasons for not signing before they make the appointment, they are judged on their conversion rate.

Don't touch them with a bargepole.

I love it when this happens as I can say, ‘My husband is dead’ and then watch them wish the floor would open up and swallow them. Admittedly this line is not open to most people. But it works a treat.

A few years back I bought a car. I just happened to be married and the salesperson was quite worried that I did not refer back to my OH and/or come back with him in tow - I said very firmly that I was paying for this car, so there was no need to involve my OH!

But things have improved. I am not in the first flush of youth and when we first married, I was earning and he was a medical student - I was basically keeping us both. He was sent a tax form, which he just filled in with £0 in every section. Noting that he was married they sent the form back and asked him to fill it in with my earnings. I got back to them and queried this, and they said that I must fill it in as if I was him as the "man of the house" in a married couple is the one who completes and signs the form!

And then he'll offer you an "extra special" price to sign up there and then...

My cousin used to sell this type of product and told me all the tricks (hint - if they say they need to call their manager to agree a discount, they don't. It's a pretend call!).

But yes it's a sales tactic as others have said. It removes one delaying tactic.

Door to door sales really should be banned. I had a single friend call me in tears once because one wouldn't leave. I sent DP round to throw him out for her.

Write to head office saying that his sexist attitude is the sole reason you have removed the company from your list to get quotes from.

Irrespective of anything else, I wouldn't be using any trades that come knocking door to door for business. That's a massive red flag.

I know people in that industry and they are run off their feet and have never advertised or solicited for business. It's all word of mouth. Find some local company to do the work.

I own a window company and this is 100% not true.

We very often only have one partner's name on the contract. I always ask who they want on there because I beleive it's respectful but up until we get to the point of signing contracts I've usually only dealt with one partner.

A mix of pressure tactics and sexism, because obviously the wife only has pocked money, so couldn’t possibly afford to pay for the works herself. Everyone I know who has had windows or doors from Anglian has had an awful experience and numerous problems after fitting, so not a surprise OP.

In my last flat, as in at the time I was the sole owner, I wanted some fitted blinds, I knew exactly what fabric, colour and fittings etc, I just needed the measuring to be done before they were ordered. They guy measuring said I couldn’t order without my wifes approval (I hadn’t mentioned any partner) I said I was paying, they’re what I want etc. He insisted another three times and on the final time my then boyfriend walked in so I said “oh, here’s my wife”. Sales guy just wrote down what I wanted and walked out in silence.

People ordering windows, doors etc are adults, we’re not children being cared for by our spouses!

I get this, but I also think that they're missing out on sales to people who want time to think.

I don't need my husband to agree to things, but I do need time to think things through. Hard sell sends me back into my shell like a tortoise and becomes an automatic no.

Waste of time.

These salespeople are running off scripts. Head office is not going to care about someone objecting to that script as, unfortunately, it works in lot of cases.

The estate agent dealing with our house purchase was like this. It was beyond weird. He wouldn't respond to my emails and would only answer to DH, even if the emails were from me and hadn't linked DH in. He wouldn't even CC me in the response. Would always talk directly to DH when we were meeting, asked all questions to him, even when I would respond or DH would refer a question to me, the agent would talk back to DH.
I was the one handling most of the purchase admin our side.
We did laugh about it and we definitely won't be using his agency when we decide to sell in the future.

OK, I am obviously biased as I own a local window company but please please do not touch either with a barge pole. Please go local.
Before we set up on our own we have expereince of working for both and we know a lot of people who have and they are deeply unethical. They have such a terrible rep I am sure 99% of people only use them because they offer finance.

With regards to your OP, salesmen work on commission and they want to make sure they are going to get a sale and not waste their time. It's not a tactic we use and quite honestly, i'll never understand pissing off a customer to get a sale but it's rarely personal, it's just stupid and thoughtless.
Get a local person in who will know their trade and have a passion for their own business and you will get a much better service.

I will see how pushy he is later and if coming down hard for a sale I can waste his time too. Screaming baby and hungry should hopefully get him out when needed!!!

It annoys me that people still entertain these door knockers. It encourages them to keep doing it. I don't want people coming to my home trying to get me to spend money and I will never take any of them up on it so it's just a waste of my time, usually when I'm busy as well ffs.
If I want something, I'll sort it. I can't believe anyone would go, 'oh yeah you've twisted my arm I'll spend thousands I wouldn't have done if it wasn't for you coming to me' :/
During the day, people at home are more likely to be: elderly or vulnerable in some way, maybe on benefits. Not in a position to be spending. The amount of money my neighbour who would go along with anything spent makes me angry to think about!

Its not sexist, its a basic principle for any type of Sales, you need to have ALL decision makers present.
If a Sales person is SE it actually costs them money to visit you and if they have to do several visits or are clearly wasting their time then their costs will go up and their "wages" down.
I am not saying its right or fair - just explaining why

@Applescruffle i will definitely get local quote although unfortunately finance might be needed. However it will be helpful to have a rough figure for now.

Urrrghhh let me guess…Anglican

They come to our house even though we have our own window van parked on our drive 😂
I tell them "keep off my turf" and shut the door lol

And we were once fitting windows for a customer and turned up and started giving her the sales speel as the guys were going in and out with the new windows. She was literally having them done right there and then! It's like they are blind. To her credit, the 75 year old lady was very polite until they started talking over her at which point she scremed "FUCK OFF" at the top of her lungs. Wish I'd got it on film 😂

A man not that long ago was reluctant to give me a price for a car and wanted to wait for my husband. This was in Toyota!